Top 6 Records that I've Discovered or have been Released in 2008

6) Against Me- New Wave

5) David Gray- White Ladder

4) Athelete- Beyond The Neighbourhood

3) The Killers- Day and Age

2) Keane- Perfect Symmetry

1) Coldplay- Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends

Top 6 Break Ups

Before I write this i have not done any of these but after discussing these scenario's with people I believe these would be hialrious break ups, So I'm proably once again going to sound like a jerk.

6) The Non-Verbal Break Up- Nothing would suck more than to be texting the lady and getting a response back saying were through. At that point my phone would be half way across the room in a rage against technology. Unlike Kip's song "I Love Technology" I would change it to "I despise Technology" and punch something, proably causing damage.

5) The It's You Break Up- There's the cliche its not you it's me break up. But what if you were so fed up and unimpressed with the person you said, "Ill be straight up here, it's you." What a moment that would be, I would give a standing ovation to whoever utter those words. Maybe after even throw in a, "To be honest, I feel like I'm a real catch."

4) The Jerry MacGuire Break Up- We all know the infamous Secret Garden scene (love the song) where whats her face said, "You had me at Hello." What if you were to reverse that and be in the pouring rain saying to her, "I was excited to say goodbye." Then instead of embracing her, walk off into the distance with your head held high saying, "Who needs Tom Cruise and what's her face, I've got other options."

3) The Singing Break Up- If I was a up and coming muscian and the girl I was with was purely there for the rise to the top, that would suck. That is until you dedicate a song to your lady on stage and say, "This next song is called, Were Through" play a few notes and express your feelings through the chords of G, D, and C. Once she gets the point make your next song 'Return of the Mack" nothing says your over her like an early 1990's R&B song.

2) The Zodiac Break Up- In any marina you'll see small inflatable boats that have little engines on the back that allows you to explore land and gives you the freedom of a small boat. The freedom you'll gain after this break up will be monumental. The premise of this one is you and the lady are standing on a dock and you break the news, saying it's not going to work out. At this point another person comes to the dock on a zodiac and picks you up. Here you crank the motor and plain into the distant sunset leaving her wondering what could have happened after that epic exit.

1) The Face Push Break Up- My personal favourite. This will only work if the person your with is in fact one of the worst humans of all time. Preferably extremely whiney or controlling. The premise is you are walking towards the person and from a distance you can hear them talking about something you apparently did wrong or how you are an idiot somehow. Once you are within a couple feet of the person you extend your hand and as they start to rip into you because of your close proximity you put your hand directly into the face and push them aside. You keep walking and never talk to the person again. Brilliant.

Top 6 Songs That I Would Write If I Were A Songwriter

Like all songs, these are about love. Like all love songs I understand, these love songs are about frustrated love.

6. I Want to Love You But You Don't Love Me
5. I Want to Love You But You Can't Spell So Well
4. I Want to Love You But You Weigh More Than Me
3. I Want to Love You But I Just Can't Love A Beast
2. I Want to Love You But You Have No Future
1. I Want to Love You But You're A Pagan

Top 6 Places Not In British Columbia

As promised, here is the sequel. I hope this one isn't a disappointment.

6. The House of the Ninja Turtles - I saw a lot of touristy things when I backpacked around Europe. In fact, I saw so many touristy things that by the time I got to Paris, I refused to go up the Eiffel Tower and enter the Louvre. A lot of people would think me dumb for it, but you don't know how boring even the most historically rich artifacts can get after a while.

But the Vatican museum could never get boring to me. I could spend months with a tour guide, asking more and more questions about all the artifacts that are in there. The trip through the museum also ends with the Sistine Chapel, which is probably the single greatest work of art not in British Columbia.

5. Infinity Beach of Eternity - I grew up in Brazil for almost four years. I also almost drowned twice while I was there. Those strong Brazilian currents were too much for my seven-year-old self. Fortunately I was saved by my parents both times.

But that's not why this beach, or the beaches in Brazil in general, are one of the greatest places not in British Columbia. Aside from almost taking my life, I owe a lot to the Brazilian beaches. There were so many of them that taking a trip to the beach did not constitute fighting with crowds all day. They are endless sand, and as serene as those screen savers you can get. Those were beaches. And those are the reason I can never enjoy the British Columbian beach.

4. The Room of Darkness - I went to Africa with a good friend of mine. The trip was all filled with drama and I was very incapable at dealing with it. One of the ways I managed, however, was to sit in the living room of the place we were staying and listen to music with my friend. We were the only two in that house, so we could get away with it. The generator of the complex we stayed at went out in the early evening, so we would sit in the perfect darkness to listen, talk and ponder our lives. The place I was in at the time and stage of life made it all the more better.

3. The Germanic Village - Also on my trip to Europe, I was privileged to stay with my uncle, and later a friend's cousin, in tiny villages in Germany. It wasn't the boonies like we would understand in North America. In Europe, many places have the population of one of our cities spread out in tiny villages, all just over the next hill from each other.

The time I spent at these places was peaceful and rejuvenating. Both were especially needed as I was on a very hectic trip.

2. The Jesus Circle - My aunt lives in the Cayman Islands. We went to visit her once. As we were exploring the island, we came to this one cul-de-sac. The road leading into the cul-de-sac led out onto a peninsula and was straddled by palm trees. The cul-de-sac featured a statue of Jesus in the middle. It wasn't the statue, so much as the pristine peninsula that ended perfectly at the edge of the dynamic Cayman ocean that made it the one place I hope to have a house someday. Maybe.

1. Space - I've never been to space. I probably never will be. But there is no place that is cooler and that I would love to go more. That's sort of sad, but at the same time, it's probably good. I know that if I had a chance to go to whenever I wanted, I would soon become underwhelmed by it.

Top 6 Places In British Columbia

This is not a list of the best cities, towns or neighborhoods in British Columbia. Rather, it is a list of the places that are most meaningful for me. In grade 11 I had a weird socials teacher to taught on the "Spirituality of Place". It was completely out of the scope of what was supposed to be taught, but I did like the main point he had about it. Some places - they just do something for you. Here's a list of the top 6 places that just do it for me.

6. The Lower Floor of the Chiliwack-ian Cousins - I grew up on a steady diet of Saved by the Bell and Archie Comics. I always thought that high school would be like that. I also grew up fairly close with some cousins that were significantly older than me. While I was still young enough to believe the delusions of high school that were presented to me in mainstream media, I had two cousins, that I thought were very cool, in high school. So when we went over to their house, it was awesome.

And it was a great house too. Out in Chiliwack - a town that I've always liked because of its peaceable nature. They had a trampoline that I would spend hours on pretending I was Spider-Man. My cousin let me play with his Ninja Turtles actions figures and his original Nintendo. We played a lot of Risk and the Game of Life. He also had a waterbed. Some of my fondest memories were of sitting in that basement, watching movies with both of our families. I always percieved the place as having a peace about it.

5. The Waters of Eternity - There was a crappy old rec centre where my family used to live. We got some sort of membership there that allowed us to go swimming for a dollar on weeknights. My parents would do laps, or some other kind of exercise. I, on the other hand, did what I did best. I got lost in my imagination. I would swim in the deep end, emulating all sorts of heroes. I would think about the people at school, the girls I "loved", the dreams I had, the trials and tribulations. The pool was usually fairly empty, but it wouldn't have mattered. I got lost in the water there. Now if you see me swimming by myself in a pool, you will know I'm just doing what I always did. Water has continually been a refresher for me.

4. The Pinnacle of Pre-Teen Angst - This was enjoyed in one friend's room. There was something about his room that I just liked. Maybe it was all the conversations we had. He also lived in a smaller town, and I loved the coziness of the place. We'd always talk about the girls he liked and at one point, even called one. It didn't go too well, but that was okay.

He'd also read his journal with me, and we'd talk about the lamest of things. But, for some reason, it was so much more awesome than that.

3. Don't Touch The Ground, Or He'll Get You! / The Dueling Ring - I have to link these two, since although it's two locations, it's for the same reason.

Firstly, way beyond the age when we could have gotten away with it, my friends and I played grounders on a playground in our neighborhood. We went for hours. After an afternoon of hockey, we'd enjoy the orange sun setting as we chased and dodged all over this playground. Sometimes we'd go late at night. I often cheated.

The hockey was the other part of it. When our school built some hockey courts for the younger students, we were ecstatic. True, we were probably some of the oldest students in the school, but we came to use these courts regardless. Many, many hours were spent facing off against each other in these.

Saturdays so often were a combination of hockey and grounders, followed by watching the Canucks in the evening. It was through these times that I found myself developing the very close friendships that I have with the same guys to this day. Most other guys were dating girls. It's not that we didn't want to; it just didn't happen. But seeing how happy we were without women in our life, maybe we just didn't have the motivation to do it. I really miss those days. Now, we're all too busy to get together like that. Life is good in a different way now. I'll probably be looking back on this moment in the future.

2. Solitary Splendor - I really miss my dorm room. I've only recently begun to realize how much. I had one of the nicest rooms in the school all to myself. I figured at the time that it was just a situation in which I got lucky. Now I see it was a lot more than that. It was the perfect situation. I will always remember sitting on my couch, listening to music and just thinking. My entire world was contained inside that building, and my room was a place for me to just be me. It gave me a chance to figure out who I am, and where I'm going. I would have to say that it was a big reason why I left the school, strange as it may sound. That will probably take more explaining than I'm wanting to do on this blog. But that room - I will remember it as a definite locale of my coming of age.

1. Canim Lake - I have a friend who is too good to me. He does things like take me to his sweet cabin at Canim Lake. I'll make it up to him some day.

The thing with Canim Lake is not just that there's a ton of fun things to do there. It's not just that I go up with a bunch of friends that make the experience all the more awesome, and it's not just the beautiful location. It's what Canim Lake is in my life. I go up whenever I get a break from routine. It's a physical place I return to time and time again to re-orient myself and really do the thinking I need to. Every year I go up, it's a highlight. I wonder how different I would be if I never went up.

Sorry that this blog entry was a lot cheesier than I wanted it to be.

Next blog: Top 6 Places Outside of British Columbia.

Top 6 Moments Spent in Langley this Week

6) Talking to a certain friend of mine who is on the edge of a relationship. He says he wants to wait for the perfect time to ask her out. I say, "I don't think there is a perfect time, just do it." He replies, "I think we'll make out for awhile and then we'll stop, right in that moment I'll ask if she wants to be my girlfriend."

5) A certain brother of mine with perhaps the greatest quote of the year when talking to a certain other brother. "When your making love to a woman, what do you do with your hands?" PURE GOLD.

4) Playing hockey and realizing I'm not a young man anymore, after not playing hockey for more than a year I realized I don't have the goal scoring touch that I used to. Even though I never really had one. After coming off the ice my buddy says, "Guess it's time to hit the bike after the game." Proably for about a year I'll need to hit that bike.

3) Coming back from Quadra on Sunday and finally being alone. Sitting down on the couch I thought to myself, "Damn it," and made myself a Mr.Donkers.

2) Seeing the new Bond movie. Daniel Craig can pretty much have me anytime he wants like all of the Bond Girls. I just hope that I don't get killed by thugs filling me with oil.

1) Being at a ridicolous lounge where there were a bunch of cougars and older guys. There were 7 or 8 of us sitting there listening to A.D.D, an AC/DC cover band that was alright. However the funniest moment is when my buddy was convinced his drink was stolen. I was ready to fight. However we saw the drink later on that night, when it came flying past my buddies head and almost hitting him. I was also ready to fight him when we decided the stolen drink was the one thrown against the window.

Oh, Langley what will happen in a couple of weeks, hopefully more good stories.

Honorable Mention goes to the Summit Ball hockey fight and Neal "The Real Deal" scoring 7 goals and winning the game by himself.

Top 6 Songs Im Listening to After a Breakup

So the lady and I parted ways on the weekend and here are the 6 songs I will proably listen to, some serious, some not so much. #4-6 funny, #1-3 Serious

6) Don't Call Me Baby- Kreesha Turner
5) King of Wishful Thinking- Go West
4) Total Eclipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler (Hopefully around a table with a bunch of guys)
3) The Lovers are Losing- Keane (My new theme song for a bit)
2) Orange Sky- Alexi Murdoch
1) One- U2

Hey Hey Hey, Walking Away Now, Walking Away Now, Baby
Listen to #6 and you'll get it.

Top 6 Things I've Realized Not To Do Or Say To Girls or Girlfriends

As a pre cursor to this I want people to know that a (*) denotes I said or did this to a girlfriend so I won't look like a huge jerk even though this post may seem like I am.

6)(*) Give into a girls demand so easily. For example when riding in a car and a girl asking me I won't date her and a week later I'm dating her means clearly I caved. Perhaps the biggest lesson from this episode in my life was the fact that I shouldn't date a crazy girl, they are bad news.But great for stories later on.

5) Tell a girl to her face that I dont trust her. This requires a back story but i won't tell it on this blog. If your desperate for the story i can tell you in real life. Pretty much I told a lot of my life to this girl which in itself proably isn't the greatest idea unless there is serious potential for a relationship. Needless to say it didn't end up well the day i told her that cause she kept asking if I was angry at her. i sorta was and I told her straight up i couldn't trust her cause she told people stuff. The other thing i remeber about that day is that I bought Coldplay's X&Y album which was decent.

4)(*) Since this happened very recently and is the inspiration of this post it is not rent a depressing movie while hanging out with a girl (especially girlfriend). So on the weekend my GF was here and after some dinner at a friends house we decided to rent a movie. For those of you who have seen the movie trainspotting you will agree it is one of the most depressing movies of all time. However, the soundtrack is kick ass so thats why i wanted to rent it so bad. Being the rad girl she is she agreed to watch it and I'm pretty sure we were both stunned with depression. Any movie with a scene involving a dead baby isn't a good date movie.

3) Believe everything that a girl says who likes you. this isn't so much saying but more doing. If a girl is digging your style but your not feeling the same way there will be many things she says to convince you that she is over that and it's done. this has actually occured a couple of times and needless to say it gets a little tiring/embarassing when it happens more than once. I'm not sure if it makes me angry at them for lying or at me for being a complete clown and believing them more than once. I felt like an undecided voter and the party's wer trying to woo me with the talk of cutting taxes and saying anything to get my vote, or affection.

2) Telling a Girl you like her best friend. This should be a no brainer for most guys. I should have realized this but as made clear in the earlier ost I was a naive boy to the world. This has happened on more than 1 occasion and disastorous consequences followed. Mostly because those girls also liked me and when you tell someone you like your best friend, not them, it wont go over very well. it can create things such as akward situations, needless tension, forced confessions, and other almost seemingly movie worthy events. However if I can take out a positive event, I gave friends and proably strangers a lot of entertainment at my expense, but i guess I deserved it.

1) Never Ever give a Girl hope when there is none. I also learned this the hard way when a letter was given to me. This letter contained the details of someone's feelings for me who i unfortunately didnt feel the same. She left the room as this note was being read by me and in the back of my head a voice was saying 2 things. EFF ME and, she's not in the room, you can maybe slip out the door and she won't know. i know, pretty classless but i stayed and perhaps made the biggest mistake a young man trying to find a place in this world can say. "I dont want a relationship right now, maybe someday down the line." If we were playing the sub par game show family feud. Louis Anderson would say, Survey says: Mark's an Idiot." That phrase brought on more crap and also provided me with possible other posts mentioned earlier. All I can say is that was amateur hour on my part.

I hope the young kids can learn something from this post, clearly it took me awhle to get things right.

Top 6 Bloggers I Detest

The problem with the internet is that it has given everybody a voice. Many people would think this is a good thing - after all, freedom of speech is apparently a basic human right. The problem is that many people don't have anything good to say. Furthermore, a lot of people only have bad things to say.

The greatest offenders of all electronic venues of speech are blogs. I know I am biting the hand that feeds me a bit, but the truth must be said. Just as cars are wonderful inventions that can also be responsible for terrible tragedy, so it is with blogs. I have written some pretty terrible blogs during my years as a disenfranchised (or, at least I thought I was) teenager. Yet I feel that I have learned from the error of my ways.

Others have not. So I am thus writing my analysis of the top six worst bloggers that I know of. It was inspired by reading through the "notes" on Facebook, along with a few bitter experiences I had in the past. For each stereotype I list below, there is at least one specific person I could point to. I won't, because I'm nice. I just slander people in concept - not specificity.

6. The False Poet - Now, this is a little bit of a risque one for me to write, since I have poet friends. I'm not against them. I like their poetry. It's good. Granted, I'm not really a fan of poetry in the first place, mainly because of the crappy poetry bloggers.

The poetry writers are not poets at all. Instead, they are incapable writers that seek to find a vehicle to would justify their absolute lack of thought conveyance, poor grammar and ridiculous themes.

To expand:

6.a. Lack of thought conveyance: Some people don't understand the purpose of the internet. It's public. It's a public network that connects millions (probably even billions by now) of people across the globe. The lack of thought conveyance directly opposes this intent in two ways:

6.a.i. False poets don't really say anything at all in their poems. Although this is a problem in all blogs, it is especially poor in poems. Trying to be good, because these false poets think that some poetry talent scout (these things don't actually exist beyond the mind of a false poet) will stumble on their blog and turn them into a household name in poetry, a false poet hides their nonexistant thoughts behind jumbly metaphors, shock-jock phrasing and incoherent sentence fragments. While public blogs are meant to be shared with people, false poets don't take this into consideration, since they give no valid message to the masses. In fact, they give no message at all.

6.a.ii. Or maybe these false poets do actually say something. But they just won't tell you what they say. For some reason, they like to post things on the internet for others to read and make their poems so obscure that you have no clue what they're talking about. You know they're saying something, but it could be anything from a complaint on the mistreatment of gophers in the sub-Saharan reigion (gophers don't actually exist in the sub-Saharan region - although false poets think they do) to the dismay over not being noticed at school that day by the poet's crush. You have no way of knowing, and they have no intention of telling you.

6.b. Poor Grammar - Now, I understand that poetry often breaks gammatical constrains in an effort to free itself from The Man. If you know anything about me, you know that I am always for anyone who tries to fight The Man. So you would think that I would be all for this. I am, but not in the case of false poets. That's because false poets aren't trying to deshackle from The Man. Instead, they are trying to become The Man.

That's because their misuse of grammar is not truly an attempt at expression. A false poet uses poor grammar to try and be edgy. A false poet brutalizes language not in order to stretch it to its fullest extent, but to shred it of any decency. The Man is one who does nonsensical things to the chagrin of the populace. That's exactly what these false poets do. There is no sensibilty behind their misuse of grammar; only disreputable dreams of Man-dom.

6.c. Ridiculous Themes - I already touched on this a bit (see 6.b., above). As we all probably know, there is not much significance in the things false poets write about. What makes it even worse, is the way that false poets address these issues.

Usually, they have no idea of what they are talking about. Usually, they say generic, worthless opinions about complex issues. Usually, they are more wrapped up in their own emotions than on trying to actually contribue something to society.

This all may be a little complex (what with the sub-points and all) so I'm going to simplify by leaving you with an example of a false poet's poem:

LoST in A MinEFIeldd Of+HeaRTTZ :(

Where iS My (our) FriENd?...
People are DYE ---- ng. I hate that. I hate you BecUse you are green!
Where iS LoVE?
My Father is in the trees::'' :( :S

But I Will never forget you. PLease STopppP my bleddin....

War Sux! >:(
I love my girlfriend.

:..: Pockets of Sunshine :..: answer ME!?*#&@(

5. The Heartfelt Discourse - This one may also get me in trouble, so first let me clarify something. I don't actually detest these bloggers; they just bug me a bit. And it's not their fault.

Who are these bloggers? They're the people with good, genuine hearts and good, genuine motives. They usually write about something that was quite meaningful to them. I'm all for the good blogs where somebody writes about life in a poignant and impacting way. It's just too bad when that's what the person is intending to do, but it comes across flat and cliche.

That's not just a problem with bloggers, it's a problem with life. With so much information being thrown around these days, it's increasingly hard to not be original. That being said, I still think it's the responsibility of the blogger. While I understand their good intention, I still wish they'd try a little harder.

Here's and example of the Heartfelt Discourse:

"I was walking down the street today and I saw a boy who was poor. He had nothing. He probably didn't know where he was going to get his next meal from. Yet as he sat there, he was happy. Am I happy? Am I helping the poor? These are questions we should all ask ourselves. Why are we not happier?"

It's great. It's pure. It's good. But I've heard it said so many times before, in better ways, that it fails to have any impact. And I think the issue at hand is bigger than the one raised.

4. The Philosopher - We've all read these blogs. Again, I must say that there are some very good philosophical blogs. They're enriching and I love reading what the people have to say.

Then there's the other philosophers. Ones that write things like this:

"Ignorance is the enemy. In a globalized world, we find ignorance to be in increase. The eruption of socio-enconomic regions in overlap has revealed the ignorance of our species. Yet what is our species? What is ignorance? Is it genetic? Is it a choice? Is it not better to choose to be who one is, than who one is supposed to be? Or do the ideals of society take precedence?"

Enough said.

3. The Political Analyst - This one was probably brought about because it's election time in North America. My disdain for these bloggers has something to do with my view on the governmental system. That view is that people need to stop complaining about governments and start taking responsibilty for their countries. Who is elected into office is merely a representation of the country. Even for those who don't vote.

So stop writing your stupid blogs. It's not going to change anything. Stop sharing your opinion - because it's nonconsequential. Instead of writing, why don't you...Okay, I'm starting to get on a little bit of a rant myself, which is probably also nonconsequential.

Anyways - here's an example:

"an election went by
and nothing has changed
the poor are still hungry
and the big man is still getting his money
welfare cuts are thereby condoned, and we are doomed to seeing years more of our health system declining.
and war is a sure thing now."

Good for you. You've complained, which is the least effective form of protest.

I guess I just complained about political analysts...

2. The "About Me" Questionnaire - LiveJournal was a hit for online blogs. At least with me and my friends. Everyone was into it. And everyone was on eachother's friends lists. It was awesome. Everyday I could go and read a good thirty minutes worth of memoirs, thoughts and experiences that my friends had.

But that was all destroyed by the "About Me" Questionnaires. Rather than write about their lives, struggles and personal thoughts, these people would post the questions and answers of a variety of questionnaires. Not just one or two, either. An endless amount. Day after day I would go to check my friends postings only to see the page jammed up with these useless questionnaires. Some of the questions were actually interesting. However, the poster would never actually answer those. Just the boring ones, like their name, favorite food and what they look for in a guy.

The worst part was that the fad was catching. By the time I finally brought myself to delete one friend because their posts were so incredibly, another one caught onto the fad. It completely took away from the joy of reading my other friends' posts; it completely took away from the joy of blogging about my life. Now, I just write angry top 6 lists.

Example of the questionnaire:

"Name: Crappy Blogger X (not a real name)
Age: 17
Favorite color: I can't decide between blue and brown. And green is nice in the correct light
What's the worst thing you've ever done? Can't say.
What do you look for in a mate? Someone who listens to me, cares for me, smart, good-looking.
Have you ever done drugs? Um...."

1. The Idiot - The above listed people are all quite irritating, but obviously, I have saved the best (worst) for last. How does one describe the idiot? He is a combination of all of the above, yet at the same time, he is completely different. Nothing can really pin him down, other than the fact that he is an idiot.

The idiot has no idea he is one. He sees his thoughts as poignant; as pure genius. He both thinks that he is hilarious, and that his opinions are what will save the world from all its woes. And their opinions are also very blunt and offensive. The idiot considers that their best trait. He wouldn't be so stupid if he were just dumb. Instead, it's so much more. The reason he's so bad is because he lacks any form of self-awareness.

I don't know if my example can do justice:

"Many teens nowadays feel like they aren't good enough. Self-esteem is a real issue among teenagers. With all the pressures they feel it's hard for them to match up to the quota. How can we make teenagers feel better?

But I'm going to turn that all on its head. Really, people just need to realize that a lot of teens aren't good enough. Why should we wait till they're older to tell them they aren't good enough? Tell them now! It's a dog eat dog world, and many people just don't make the cut. So what if teenage suicide rates are up? Maybe it's the best for society to let the weak die young!"

Nobody I know has written the above exactly. Yet the lack of logical thought and disdain for the feelings of others have been seen in many an idiot's blog. Not to the above extreme, mind you, but I'm trying to make a point. And, like an idiot, I'm going to an extreme to make a point. Wait - does that mean that I'm...?

Top Things I do when I am stressed over homework

1. Shake
2. When stuck staring at my blank word document, I quickly type "f**k this!!" then quickly delete it and repent.
3. Contemplate and seriously consider the late-drop fees
4. Call Bethany for help
5. Continue my procrastination by writing blog posts
6. Pray

Top 6 Suprises of Since September 1st

6) I havent been talked to in Intrumural Soccer- When playing any type of sport as anybody who knows me will see I get pretty into it. I think in intrumurals last time I almost got in 2 fights and i got scolded by refrees and opposing players. this hasn't happened so far this year maybe because I'm too out of shape to be able to fight or run fast enough to get away from a scary man. Or maybe I'm older and I can't handle the thought of getting broken by a retaliation tackle.

5) I actually have decent marks- The first semester of my last tur of duty here my first semester was a train wreck. Also known by some as the fire semester. Bad marks poured in like returns on boxing day. It was a tornado of dissapointment. This year however, every assingment ive gotten back has been over 80%. This will hopefully continue but there's a mid term next week that could reperesent an extreme down turn.

4) I haven't missed a bus yet- Last year living in a place where busing to school was nescessary I was frequently late and missed buses. However this year even though bus usage is down Ive hit everyone on the money. There is no worse feeling than running after a bus in despair knowing that you won't get it and you'll be late for a midterm. It's like the guy who talks about the girl who is always just out of reach. He's giving it his all just to be dissapointed.

3) I've only been home once so far this year- If you know me well enough, youll know what Im talking about.

2) Ive been in a relationship for longer than a month- Knowing my illustrious career of realtionships it's clear that something is going right. Proably because she is a top notch girl. Certain haters have predicted doom within the first month. however if one of the Donkers had to lay himself down in order for my happiness, I have to pump it up.

1) I havent amounted a debt so far- by this time last year i was begining the financial nose dive that cost me $750 by the end of the first semester. It's never a good idea to buy stuff with money you dont have, especially if that money is coming from your parents. Word of advice for everyone. I think Im happiest about this cause I am not imitating wall street right now and going into a crisis that only a governing institution can get me out off. We all know of what institution i speak of.

Top 6 Things Said In A Grade 3 Classroom

I'm living in a strange place right now. As I'm trying to figure out my life and only working evenings, I've found myself with a lot of free time in the mornings. My mother, always eager to be involved in my financial life, took the liberty of suggesting me a job. Turns out that there was a 3-week opening for a Teacher's Assistant position at the intermediate school she works at. She teaches grade 4, and the position was for grade 3, so I was fine with it. The 3-week stint is now over and it left me with some good memories. And some fantastic quotes.

6. "Before it was Dogzilla." - This quote was said after I commented to the child on the strangeness of him reading a book titled "Kat Kong". Being instantaneously fascinated by the prospect of a book series that domesticates everyone's favorite monster movies, I tried desperately to get my hands on these two books. The teacher of the classroom said they were favorites of the children, which piqued my interest all the more.

Finally, I got my hands on not one, but both of these books. A quick scan of the back covers taught me all I needed to know about the books. Like most childrens' books, it featured a little text and a lot of pictures. However, what separates these two books from your run-of-the-mill crap was the hybrid between real photography and hand-drawn images. All the backgrounds for these two books were colorfully hand-drawn, whereas the characters (dog, cat and the rodents that inhabit the towns the monsters trash) are superimposed photographs of the author's pets. If there has even been a better concept - wait, nevermind. There has never been a better concept for childrens' books.

But how were the storylines? I'll be honest, Kat Kong was a large disappointment. Dogzilla, on the other hand, made me a better person. It started off with all the mice having a fun-ol' barbecue. How nice. The only problem was that the smell of all that meat awakened a horrific beast from the depths of the earth - Dogzilla. As expected, Dogzilla then terrorized the city amognst all sorts of pet puns. Eventually, the mice got wise and chased Dogzilla back into the crater from which he (or she) came. The book ends peacefully...or so you would think. Unfortunately, the mice forgot about one fearsome prospect - puppies. This dark twist of events is driven home by a chilling final page that features a picture of extremely happy puppies crawling out of a crater.

Don't believe me? Do a Google book search for it. You won't be disappointed.

5. "1 Million...1 Billion..." - It was during Math class. The teacher began by saying "Anything times zero is zero. So what is zero times a million?" That's when the first part of this quote transpired. The teacher continued: "No. Anything times zero is zero. What's a billion times zero?" Then the child responded with the second part of the quote.

Maybe the kid was just having a hard day. But I don't think so.

4. "My sister looks at naked people." - This one perked up during devotions. We were talking about doing bad things, or something like that, and this one girl decided to clean out her sister's closet for the classroom. When she described it, it sounded more like a one-time accident on her sister's part. I didn't really get a chance to find out, though. The teacher (who was ironically a substitute for that day) scolded her and commanded she speak no more of it.

3. "I want to go home or I'm going to kick my face open!" - This was from my favorite kid. In fact, he may have been my favorite because he said things like this. It was randomly in the middle of Math class. Again, the teacher told him that saying such things were inappropriate. I probably would have agreed, if I weren't so busy laughing.

2. "Why do you smell books?" - I loved Bearenstein Bears books growing up. So when I saw the plethora of them in the elementary school library, I could not hesitate to pick one up. Flipping through the pages it brought back all sorts of memories of the stories, the feelings, the lessons, the adventures, the smells...yes, I mean that. Those books had a certain smell to them. The smell of home. The smell of comfort. The smell of familiarity. Was this book the same?

So I smelt it. I tried looking around quickly to see if anyone was looking before I did so. I must have missed one though. Maybe it was because she was so short. Anyways, she hit me up with the above-listed comment as soon as I pulled the book away from my face. I answered with the truth: I was smelling my childhood.

1. "Your wife is my teacher!" - This requires no explanation. As said above, my mother teaches grade 4, not my wife. I'm not married. Yet, this child obviously could not fathom this possibility. I guess at the age of nine you don't have that built-in ability to tell when two people are thirty-six years apart in age.

Maybe he was just having a hard day. But I highly doubt it.

6 Reasons I Hate Taking the Bus Home On Friday & Saturday Nights

6) Last night I hop on a bus from downtown after a quality night with friends and as soon as I get on the bus it is packed. It's only the first stop and it gets really hot and uncomfortable, especially when your sitting beside a random stranger who you think could possibly be a witch looking at the pentagram on her purse.

5) The Random people you get on the bus who are extrmely odd and make you uncomfortable. Last week my Girlfriend and I were coming back home and a random asian man sat down in front of me and promptly started to fall asleep. The akward thing was he started leaning towards me and he almost started to rest his head on my lap. Nothing infuriates me more than people (especially men) fall asleep on me. though he woke up before he went all the way I was ready to start throwing punches.

4) The amount of time it takes people to get on and off the bus late at night on a weekend is painful. It's a bus all you have to do is step on or off. Your not going through the Iraq border and getting searched for a bomb, just get the bus moving again.

3) The hardcore guys who take alcohol onto the bus. Last night a guy walks on a bus with a couple of Lucky Lagers (The poor man's version of Molson Canadian's) that makes a statement about his character already. He cracks one open on the bus and starts drinking. Clearly class takes a break late at night on a bus.

2) The loud obnoxious guys who come on the bus going to a house party. Here is a late night bus staple. Guys walk on loaded and start hitting on any girl in sight. First they embarras everyone else on the bus for them but at the same time give me a little bit of joy. Then it's on to story telling time with the buddies and then hearing about how he got to touch a girl once a couple of years ago cause clearly no girl self respecting girl would touch him with the state he's in. Here presents a prediciment because on the bus there are girls with little to no self respect. Usually by the end of the bus ride he's got another story of how he totally could have gotten with that girl on the bus.

1) Girls who are on the bus and crying. This is a common occurance usually becuase their boyfriend is a jerk or their best friend is a b****. It makes everyone else on the bus uncomfortable as her friends try console her when it's really beyond the point. This is usually when drunk party goer guy gets on the bus and shows a side of himself, the emotional side who is able to comfort her and bring her back to a normal mental state. Usually a story for the buddies occurs after this.

Top 6 Songs (That I'm listening to at 3am because I cant sleep)

Im at at 3am not able to sleep, maybe its the fact that I ate a ton of food at 10 last night and perhaps the most deadly desert of all time. Or maybe its the fact that i had my first official date with my girlfriend who is the raddest. To remedy this I just had a sip of my St. Remy's Napeoleon brandy to knock me out

Top 6 as they appear on my sleep playlist

6) Athlete - It's Not your Fault
5) The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun
4) David Gray - Babylon
3) Sigur Ros - Random song I dont know name of, good piano
2) Sting - Fields of Gold
1) The Wallflowers - Closer to You

6 Things I don't understand about UVIC/Victoria

6) Recently the workers of the SUB (Student Union Building) went on strike. They promptly set up picket lines in front of the building where such things as the campus pub and used bookstore are. I go to buy used books and I fing this debacle is going on. I find out that they are demanding more money. It's very iromnic that they are striking considering most of the employees are students pulling in $10 an hour. Most of them live on campus and have to literally walk 10 seconds to get to work where they pretty much touch themselves. Perhaps they thing that makes me wonder the most is that they are part of the UNITED STEEL WORKERS UNION. They work at a university.

5) I walked in to my first Geography 101A lab and immediately I knew the teacher was a huge hippy. Why let a dis-organized grad student teach a class that is very nescessary for my very survival at UVIC. She is clearly not ready for the big leagues like a few other grad students I've run across in my schooling career.

4) There are kids at UVIC right now who I'm pretty sure just graduated middle school. Some kids are so small and not ready for the University life that it's embarassing. Especially those 18 year girls who dont know what geography is, they think it's a function on their iPhone. Dear Uvic. please use more discretion on selecting your students, Love Mark.

3) Downtown Victoria and the surrounding area is a sweet place to be. A lot of cool things to explore and do. One thing I don't get is how there are literally, a dozen Traveller Inn Motels within a 15km radius.

Hotel Guest
"Shoot honey, I guess this Travellers Inn is full, I guess were out of luck."

Hotel Front Desk Worker
"Excuse me sir, have you tried the five other Travellers Inn within 2km of this location?"

In my mind unnesscary, What about the Sandman Inn, why doesn't he get some of the action?

2) uSource is the new registration system at Uvic, I refer to it as amateur hour. The old webview system worked fine and it had a simple user interface. uSource is proably more confusing than Stephen Hawkings Quantnum Physic theories. I try to register for a class and it says I have a major hold restriction. Ok, what is a major hold restriction you might ask. I asked the same thing and the a-clown who came up with the system decided not disclose what a major hold restriction is. Long story short not many studenst or faculty members are fans. They are not fans of getting random announcements about the UVIC field hockey team tunig SFU in an exhibition game rather than finding out if they can get into the one last class they need to graduate. There is also a group on facebook called "10,000 Strong against uSource". I would like to point out that this is more than half the student population at UVIC.

1) I dont mean to be offensive when I say this. I walk onto campus my first day back and I see construction going on right at the centre of campus. It is a aboriginal celebration centre for the Uvic aborigianl Student Union. Perhaps the ironic thing is that I have at the most seen 5 native students at UVIC. You do the math, it doesn't make much sence to build a 2 million dollar building for five students. How about cutting down on tution?

Top 6 Scars On My Body

6. The Sparkling Blister - This was what inspired me to write this blog. After the screwing at the hands of the man, I moved on to a new restaurant. We like to bring out ice cream with sparklers to those who are fortunate enough to celebrate their birthday with us. The process is oft accompanied by much song, festivity and bru-ha-ha.

I was recently bringing a sparklered ice cream out a patron when it started to tumble over. Not wanting the prospect of it igniting the carpet and burning down the building to interfere with the celebration, I reached out to grab it with my right (not left) hand. As a result, I got a sweet burn on the edge of my pointer finger. A wonderful bump of a blister appeared. Almost two weeks later, there is still a discolored blotch on my finger. I'm sure it will go away in time, but for now, it's still a scar.

5. The Juice Box Mishap - I've always been really smart. One of my smartest moments was when I tried to cut open a frozen juice box to eat the frosty-delicious counterpart to the liquid apple juice we all know and love. In my genius, I put a part of my thumb (the opposable part) right in my cutting lane in an attempt to stabilize the box. As soon as I started cutting, I felt a pain shooting across my poor appendage. I dropped my knife and stared at it. Astounded by the extent of my intelligence, I only hoped that it would not leave a scar. About seven years later, it sure has. Tiny, insignificant, yet present.

4. The Adenoid Annoy - I was born with large adenoids. For those of you who don't know what they are, adenoids are mechanisms in your nostrils that help filter out harmful bacteria. They're especially important during infancy when your immune system isn't as rocking as your adult one. However, in some situations, like mine, the adenoids are so big that not even air can get through the nostrils. For those of you who don't know, air is important for humans at all stages of development. Thus, the decision to have them removed was made.

I have not actually looked into my nostrils to see the scar, but I'm sure its there. Along with it are a few other side effects. Some very observant people have told me that one of my nostrils is bigger than the other. This is because one side of my nose isn't even connected to the cartilage - I assume this was a result of the surgery. Obviously my parents spared no expense when getting a highly qualified surgeon for me.

Also, a good friend has made fun of my eating habits. It turns out that, unlike what I do, you're not supposed to breath in as you take a bite. Try as I might, I can't consistently breathe through my nose as I'm eating. Breathing through my mouth causes me to get a lot of extra air stuck in my stomach, which will require that I lie down after eating really slurpy foods to ease the discomfort.

It also affects my athletic life. Last week playing soccer, I tried as hard as I could to breath in through my nose, because this is apparently helps all your muscles get their oxygen better. Instead, it just felt like I wasn't breathing at all. I think the nose-breathing-motor-skills that infants usually develop was withheld from me, because of my gargantuan adenoids.

3. The Doctor Jack Parallel - One night at college last year, I started having a pain in my gut. I tried to sleep it off, but just ended up waking up in the middle of the night and throwing up. I woke up with the same pain in the morning and talked to a few others about it. I kept hearing that my symptoms were telling of appendicitis. As things got worse, I decided to check in at the hospital and, yep, they were going to take it out. That night.

The nice thing was that the entire school found out about it, and I got a sweet scar. Had I known how much sympathy I would get and how much school I would miss for a simple (as far as surgeries go) surgery I would have had it taken out years ago. Having staples in your body is also pretty sweet.

2. The First Kiss - I always liked animals. Granted, I was scared of our first family dog, Penelope the First. She was a huge German Shepherd though, so it was merited. She was also the nicest dog in the world.

There was a dog who wasn't the nicest one in the world though. That's because this dog was the spawn of Satan. I think its name was Sam, although I can't really remember. I probably blocked it out of my mind.

Anyways, I was holding this dog, who belonged to my cousins. He started to growl a little bit and I was quickly encouraged to put him down. Thinking I could coax it back to happiness, I held on a little bit longer. When it continued to exhibit its spiteful demeanor, I decided to drop it. However, that was also the moment that Devil-Dog decided to jump off of my arms and bite my face. He bit me right in the corners of the mouth and hung from my face. I'm not lying or making this up. I had to get a few stitches in either side and get some shots. To be honest, I'm not sure if you can actually see the scars since the Terrier of Terror's teeth were so small but this instance has left an emotional scar on me, if nothing else.

The worst was that a few years later, I was at the home of these same cousins. Lockjaw Lucifer came and tried to cuddle with me on my lap. My aunt proclaimed that it was his way of saying sorry. I saw through it. He was gloating. He was gloating at the fact that he gotten away with such a vicious attack with no repercussions. Because of my family connections, I could do nothing to get my revenge. If I had my way, I would have been the one gloating - as I drowned him in the toilet. Or a small pond. Or just bit him.

1. The Infamy - I was a young boy with lots of life. My parents worked at a bible college in Brazil and I worked at skipping the weekly chapels they went to. I was successful this night. I met up with some other Brazilian boys and played tag on the bible college grounds. I, of course, was not it because I'm so fleet on my feet. However, me and the other guys were all chased into the corner by the person who was it. He was obviously pretty good at tag.

It wasn't an inescapable corner though. There was a ledge sticking out that could give us sufficient leverage to scale the two-meter wall we had come to. Thus, we all did that. When I got to the top of the wall, however, with the person who was it running up behind me, I started to get second thoughts. The wall was really high. The other boys seemed to jump off it with no problem though. So, that's what I did.

The next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground with all the other boys staring down at me. My forehead felt funny, so I tried to touch it. It was a weird sensation not feeling your forehead where it was supposed to be. Before I knew it, the chapel service had been called and my dad was picking me up and putting me in the back of our station wagon. The twenty-something woman I had an older-woman-crush on sat with me in the back. That was cool.

I remember the doctor stitching me up and giving me latex gloves and a syringe (needleless) as a souvenir. My body had some souvenirs as well - in the form of huge face scabs, a swollen-shut purple eye, and, of course, the coolest scar ever.

My sister refused to look at me for a few days and it took a really long time to heal. But it wasn't so bad. I'm not really even sure if it hurt all that much. We went back one time in the day to the place I fell to try and figure out what happened. Turns out that the wall I jumped (fell) off was right next to the students' dormitories. Thus, they used that area to hang their clotheslines. We think that I must have hooked my foot on one of the lines and become propelled face first into the concrete below.

Yet no brain damage or any other negative effects befell me from the accident. Just an amazing scar on my forehead that speaks of destiny, danger and manliness. I used to not like it, but now its probably the best part of my body. People think Harry Potter was cool cause he came onto the scene with a forehead scar, but the fact is that he's more than a decade too late. That's right, Potts, I've been sportin' this biz since before you even was born. And shall I so sport it, until I get an even bigger scar - a scar we all know as death.

Top 6 Reasons to Contribute to a New Blog

6. It is Friday night and your 'editor' is at a hockey game.
5. Chess sucks. How is it fair in any way, shape or form that a computer can calculate every single possible move...okay. Chess sucks. Full stop.
4. You made plans to have breakfast this morning with a bunch of guys. The alarm woke you up at 8:40am, no guys in sight. Apparently they had all forgotten and you had breakfast with one other guy. At 12 o'clock, you fell asleep and proceeded to take a 2 hour nap. Now you aren't tired.
3. Your friend is going to make you drive home as soon as you close your computer.
2. The university sent the student leaders on a 'leadership retreat' this weekend. Besides all obvious positions, it turns out that flying by the seat of your pants in a lounge geared towards international students counts as leading students. Unfortunately, that is exactly what your girlfriend does.
1. Your philosophy major is coming to a close and you realize that, unless a movie star sees your blog contributions and asks you if you'd be willing to write a screenplay, you will be flat broke and career-less.

Top 6 Ways The Man Screwed Me This Summer

Summer is gone, and it ended well. The beginning and middle were quite tumultuous. That was mainly because I found myself very involved with "The Man". Who is The Man? The Man is any part of corporate North America that seems bent on screwing you over. That's exactly what The Man did to me. I got a job in a restaurant as a server, and it sucked. I won't go in to the specifics of the job because slander is illegal and I still feel a level of attachment to some of the individuals that are still involved with the man. Also, before I being I would like to say that I do not hold any specific individual in mind as The Man. The Man is the symbol of the sum of the whole.

And these are the top 6 ways that The Man screwed me.

6. The Eternal Wait - I had wanted to work at this restaurant for over a year now. It was always my favorite restaurant because of its location, food and environment. I originally applied to work there the year before and was shut down. However, a few good friends of mine started working there, and after hearing of a change of management, I decided to go in and apply again. I walked in, had an interview and had the manager tell me that because of my reference, I was in. It should only be a week or so until they call me.

However, a week went by and I heard nothing. I called them to see what was up and spoke to another manager. She had no idea about me and told me that I wasn't hired for sure yet. I had to wait a little while longer. To make a long story short (and believe me, it's long) I was eventually told by my friend who worked there, via Facebook, that I was hired and just had to wait until the end of the month of May to be trained. In the middle of the month, I received a phone call while I was away volunteering at a youth conference. Apparently, orientation was the next day at 9 a.m. Just happy to get into the system, I was willing to overlook the less-than-twenty-four-hours notification, leave my volunteer position and start working. But, I was encouraged that it was no problem, I should stick to my commitments and I would be beginning in just under a week anyways. Great.

A week later, I still hadn't heard from them. I called again and was told that I wasn't put on that list of trainees, they were full and I had to wait another three weeks. Being a college student that was depending on this job for money to pay tuition in the fall, I needed to get things going. The frustrating thing was that I turned down another for sure job and a second interview somewhere else to work at this restaurant, since it was my favorite. I tried going back to those other jobs, but no dice. After two weeks, I buckled and called The Man back. They were still willing to get me in the system, now that I had waited almost a whole month to be orientated. And I finally was. It was over a month between that first interview I had in the restaurant and when I got to show up for a shift. At least I was working now, right? Well...

5. The Snapshow Sending - What they didn't tell me in their extensive training process was that getting decent shifts was even more difficult than being able to start working. I left my schedule wide open, hoping that they would see just how eager I was to work as much as I possibly could, especially to make up for the time they stole from me. I got six shifts a week! The only problem was that I was lucky if I could work twenty hours in those six shifts.

For those of you who haven't served before, let me break it down to you how it works. A restaurant has a certain amount of servers starting at either lunch or dinner time. Aside from previously selected individuals who stay until closing, the servers are then sent home when business dies down.

There were a few problems with this set-up. First of all, it was the summer and the food that this restaurant specialized in was not very summer-friendly. Thus, it was slow. That was okay though - I could overlook that. Second, there was a bonus up for grabs for the manager that could minimize the total amount of money The Man had to pay for labor. Thus, servers were sent home as quickly as possible. A two-hour shift became a long day for some stretches. There were many days that I was not even allowed to start. I would drive for forty-five minutes to a job that I was willing to do, but was not allowed to do. For accounting purposes, I kept track of the money I was making - and looking over it, I still wonder why I hung on to this job for so long.

4. The Heartbreak Story - Eventually, I was fed up. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to really lay your best effort down at a job and feeling like The Man won't let you. So, I flirted with another restaurant. I still wanted to hold on to my job with The Man though. I still liked the restaurant, and I had made a few solid friends during my tenure there. So, I sat down with the manager in charge of scheduling and had a heart-to-heart. I told him that I needed a certain amount of shifts where I could make money because I needed it for the Fall. I wanted a straight answer - just a yes or no. Instead, he started off on some tangent about how he has so many people to please and if he doesn't give the single mother enough shifts then she'll go broke...etc...etc...etc... He had a good point. But I knew that. I totally understood why it would be hard for a manger to give me more shifts. What bugged me was the way it was done. This conversation was the make-or-break point after months of frustration. I guess I was half-expecting an apology, or at least some sort of sympathy for my situation. Instead, I was told that my situation was less pressing than that of others. Even though it was true, I still don't think it was the right thing to do. Business is business, but when you need to leave someone out in the cold, at least give them a blanket.

3. The Lack of Confidence - Backing the story up a bit, I frequently tried to stay longer on my shifts to make some decent money. At one point, a co-worker was willing to let me stay for her all-afternoon shift. I would make some pretty good cash! The only thing that it depended on was the manager's approval. They didn't approve. I didn't have enough experience. I guess a year of serving experience isn't enough to qualify me to work on a mid-week afternoon in the middle of summer.

On top of that, I always wanted to close on my evening shifts. This meant that I would stay for the full night, and again, make good money. I wasn't allowed to do this, however, because I wasn't trained for it. I finally got trained for it, a week before I decided to pull the plug on the job. Closing involved wiping down a few counters and cleaning the heads of the pop machine. Obviously, this was something that I needed special training for.

2. The Hippocratic Denial - Towards the end of my initial training, one of the manager's took the group of new recuits aside and gave us some tips. He looked right at me as he said "Don't think you know everything just because you've served before!" I was tempted to take it personally, but reminded myself that he was speaking to the whole group.

The next day, I was speaking to that same manager and the general manager. The general manager turned to the other and asked him if he had spoken about what she had wanted him to. He said yes (other than what was recounted in the above paragraph, he hadn't). I quizzed as to what this was about - apparently, they thought I was too confident. One of my trainers said I was looking around too much during training. The other thing was that I was walking around too much while serving tables. Clearly, I had megalomanical issues. I apologized, and promised to try to change my erroneous ways.

Later, we were out with the rest of the training group when the same manager said "Don't think you know everything. I've spoken with (my name) specifically about this, but it stands for you all as well."

Thank you Mr. Manager. I appreciate you letting me know about my ego problems. Letting the rest of my training team know about them too will only help me eradicate my issues. Not only will I now have to live my entire life wondering if every little thing I do is a testament to my inner arrogance (and I did), I can also live with the comforting knowledge that my co-workers are aware of the situation and can kindly assist me in my battle. That was a pure move of professionalism to notify my co-workers of private issues you see in my life. Thank you. *applause*

1. The Man and His Socks - I had three shifts left. I had already started at my new restaurant (which I am still at, and loving) and was giddy about the prospect of actually making money and having some respect at a job. The dress code for The Man though, like many restaurants, required black socks. I'm all over that. I'm a firm believer in following rules like that. Truthfully. I show up early to my jobs, I dress right, I do everything I can to make sure that there is no fault to be found in my commitment to a job.

But this day, I decided to ease up a bit. Because all my comfortable black socks were in the wash, I put on my charcoal gray ones instead. I went to a private school, and they were okay there. I worked at another restaurant with a similar dress code, and they were okay there. I would be perfectly fine wearing these socks with a suit. If you held them up against black, you could tell they were not black. However, to wear these with black shoes and black pants and a black belt would be no sort of faux pas whatsoever. And besides, they hadn't checked my socks once in my two months of working there.

That day, they did. And of course, the socks weren't black enough. I could either go home, or walk across the street and buy some black socks from Winners. I left with the full intention of just going home. How could they do this to me? I was never late, I was always dedicated, I wanted nothing more than to stay there and work for years. And now, three shifts away from finishing, they do this to me. I figured that was the last straw, I wasn't going to give in to The Man any longer!

But that's the thing about The Man. It's like an unhealthy relationship. The one where you love the other person, you lay your life down for them and they just throw it away. You show up to their house and find them with someone else. They tell you they'll try harder next time, but then you find them in the same position the following week. The relationship is full of empty promises, broken commitments and betrayed loyalty. What do you do?

That's exactly what I thought in that car. What do I do? I, like many others, first thought that the best way to stick it to the man was to flip it the bird and refute its demands. Then I thought about it more. I really thought about what it meant to stick it to the man. What would be the best thing to do to something that treated my commitment so poorly?

So I went across the street, I bought a pair of black socks and I came back to work the shift. And the next two shifts. Why? Because I realized that I had to do just that to truly say I gave it my all. I was willing to go to couples therapy. I was willing to see it from their side. I was willing to sacrifice, to give and to serve. But The Man was only willing to screw me.

I hope that we can work things out some day. Some day, I want to go back there, sit down, eat, tip well, laugh and remember the good times. I know that day will come, but not right now. Now, I'm still writing angry blogs and trying to forget. Until the time I can move on, I will continue to remember the top six ways that The Man screwed me this summer.

The Top 6 Of The Radiohead Experiment

I like to pride myself on having a diverse taste in music. Recently, I've discovered that is not nearly as diverse as I would like to think. The most telling truth of that is the fact that I never really listened to Radiohead, a band that many claim is foundational in a variety of ways. At least I hadn't really listened to them until this summer. That's right - this summer, over the course of a few weeks, I committed myself to only listening to the seven main Radiohead CDs (Pablo Honey, The Bends, OK Computer, Kid A, Amnesiac, Hail to the Thief and In Rainbows) in my car. This is my ranking of these albums.

6. The Bends - I felt sort of bad putting this one at the bottom, especially since some say it's their greatest work. I'll admit right away that it's hard for me to see the genius in each album, since I'm listening to them all many years after their release. That all being said, I just don't feel that The Bends is as solid as the rest of their albums from top to bottom. It obviously has its headlining songs that stand up as some of the band's greatest work - it's just the lesser known songs on this album are lesser known for a reason. It's my opinion of course, but then again, I'm the one writing this. Probably the most genius part of this album is seen when you hold it up against Pablo Honey. Listening to The Bends after their previous album made me wonder if it was still the same album. The Bends is a great album, but when you're competing with other Radiohead stuff, the competition is fierce. Speaking of other albums...

5. Amnesiac - Amnesiac and Kid A both came out of the same set of recordings, being released one year after the other (with Kid A coming out first). They are fairly similar. However, Amnesiac stresses the abstract side of Radiohead more than Kid A. Out of the two albums, I would have to say that Amnesiac has the best song - Pyramid Song - but unfortunately, it's counter-balanced by some songs that I just did not enjoy listening to. In the past, I've forced myself to give unusual songs a chance and they turned out being songs that I loved. Not so with the ones on this album - I just don't like them.

4. Kid A - A friend of mine said that this album typifies who Radiohead truly is. I think there is more to the band than what they show on this album, but what this album has, it has really, really well. From the outset of the album, it just locks you in to the contemplative mindset. If there was a single album that I wanted to play on the drive home after a significant evening, it would be this one. From top to bottom, it doesn't break out of that beautiful level once. That being said, it means it would not be the one album I want to take on a deserted island. I'd need more diversity.

3. Hail to the Thief - This is the first Radiohead album I ever listened to. Not on my marathon, just in my life. When it came out, everyone on MSN Messenger changed their display names to strange cryptic sentences that I later learned were lyrics and song titles from this album. To be honest, I was somewhat put off by its weirdness at first - anyone who has this album as their first Radiohead experience probably would be. However, after listening to it a bit, I can honestly say it has the strongest front-end of any Radiohead album. The first seven songs rock my face off every time. I considered putting this album at number 1 just because of those first seven songs. However, try as I might, I just can't get stoked enough for the second seven songs. It's more a matter of opinion, but I can't like the second half of this album for the same reason I didn't like Amnesiac as much as Kid A. I just don't feel it.

2. In Rainbows - This is another one that is heralded as their best. To be honest, I did not listen to this album on my marathon. It was the first album I actually "owned" and probably to date has had the best listen of them all. I had it originally at number 3, but further time with this album made me realize the beautiful layering and value of some of the songs that didn't stand out right away. I would say it does what Kid A did, only better. But still, there's just something missing from making it number 1.

1. OK Computer - I really didn't want to do this. As far as I can tell, this is the album that most people point to as their greatest. I really didn't want to follow the crowd on this one. However, I cannot help but agree. There's two main reasons for OK Computer being number 1 on my list. The first, is that I remember the sort of music that was popular when this album came out. Unlike other Radiohead albums, it wasn't so profoundly different. However, it's just...a better caliber than anything that was out at that time. Whereas other albums stick out because of their uniqueness, this one shines because I feel it is very comparable to mainstream music (much like Pablo Honey and The Bends were, only OK Computer is significantly better than each of these) and wins all comparison. The second reason for this being number one is that I think this album, more than any other, discloses every aspect of Radiohead's versatility without belaboring any part. All the others albums were too much of one thing, whereas this one was just enough of everything.

Let me finish with a quick little observation on Radiohead in general. I read in a blog once that Radiohead made music art. That's the stupidest thing I've heard in my life. Even to say that Radiohead invented the abstract exploration of art is horrendously uninformed. Music has always been and art, and abstraction of music has been around just as long. That being said, Radiohead is just a really good band. I understand that exploring new things is important to artists and I think all artists should do that. But to be honest, I think Radiohead shines most when they don't try to reinvent the wheel. When they're just playing music that's better than everyone else, like I think they did on OK Computer, that's when the band is at their best.

I know that every Radiohead fan is going to want to punch me in the face for saying that, as are all those jerk record store workers. But that's scene-sters for you. They don't expect anyone's opinion, other than the crowd's.

Top 6 Things I Say When Im Mad at a Video Game

6. Get your heads in the game
5. Quit touching yourselves
4. STEP UP!!!
3.This is bush league out here
2. Mr. Referee .......
1. Are you effing kidding me?

Top 6 Things That Destroy A Series

6. Too much, all the time - Otherwise known as the "OC" disorder. Fans of the ill-fated show were sucked in past the bad acting into the always-explosive story lines. The problem was that the show tried to do too much all the time. It left no room for character development and destroyed the only thing the show had going for itself - a sense of realness. What drew people in was the fact that the conversations the characters had felt like real conversations teenagers had. The only problem was that this was all nullified as soon as the plot lines moved from familiar to bizarre. A series needs to realize how much time it has to tell a story and not rush it (or conversely, drag it out too long).

5. Carrying it out for too long - Otherwise known as the "Spider-Man" disorder. Last summer, I ordered a DVD containing 500+ issues of the original Spider-Man comic in digital format. I have greatly enjoyed the earlier stories. They show just why Spider-Man is still popular over 40 years after his creation. The later stories...not so much. You can certainly tell when the often-changing writers were just trying to meet the demands for another issue. And from the research I've done about what happens later I'm considering getting rid of the DVD altogether. That's because direction the seem to be taking the comic does not only ruin its future, but makes one look at its past differently. Stuff like this happens every time a plot-driven piece tries to run on forever. Especially in the case of comic books where writers change all the time.

4. Changing Writers - Otherwise known as the "SonicFlood" disorder. There are a few situations in which a writer can be replaced and the quality of a work carried on. I honestly cannot think of a single situation at the moment. The problem is that people fail to see how intimately connected a writer and his/her work are. In many situations, a series of any sort has value mostly because of what it says about that writer. People think that you can understand someone's writing by looking at their history, but this is only partly true. A person's history is best understood through the lens of their work. That all being said, if your favorite TV show is starting to suck, it's probably because the original writer left.

3. Over-Manipulation of Death - Otherwise known as the "Pirates of the Caribbean" disorder. There is a place for resurrection in stories, but not when it comes as an after-thought. This usually happens when fans complain that one of their favorite characters dies. The writer(s) think(s) that they quickly need to undo the decision they made in order to keep their work popular. As a result, we get the insulting "clone/dream/misunderstanding" junk that ruins a good series. If fans leave a series because their favorite character was axed, it means that there really wasn't enough to the series in the first place and bringing that character back as an afterthought will just further damage a weak work.

2. Identity Crisis - Otherwise known as the "Matrix" disorder. When people join into a series of any type, it means they like it for what it is. Some brilliant (or rather, stupid) writers think this is a good opportunity to try and break away from the mold they have already set and turn an action movie into a philosophical narrative, a comedy into a public service announcement or an epic into a romantic comedy. A good writer will be aware of his/her niche, and if they want to take things in a different direction, do so within the confines of a niche. Fans are sloths - you can move them, but you have to let them go at their own pace.

1. A Lack of Vision - This one sums it all up. Before any series can be written, heck, before ANYTHING can be written, it needs to know where it is going. You can throw the most bizarre, weird and convoluted things into a series if it all serves to work towards where the series is going. Knowing where a series is going will allow a writer to stay grounded, much like a bungee cord allows a person to jump off a bridge without fear. Do your crazy things, as long as it functions to bring you back to where you should be. It's very easy to determine what series are written because the writer wants money or something to do and because the writer wants to do something. It's the difference between writing poverty and writing excellence.

Top 6 Things To Do While Waiting For A Ride

6. Call your other friends. If one is running behind, it serves as a great opportunity to catch up with other people you WON'T be seeing that night. If you're lucky, you can get them to pick you up instead. The worst thing you can do is call the person you're waiting for, even if it is just to tell them to hurry up. Their answering of the phone will just slow them down.

5. Homework. This one is an obvious gamble. Ideally, your friend will come quickly so that you won't have to do it for too long, but you will still have done enough to say that your day was somewhat productive. Of course, in the case of really long waits, you'll end up getting a lot of work done. That's the risk you have to take though.

4. Walk in the direction your ride is coming. This will minimize those valuable seconds that would have been consumed if your ride at to come all the way to where you are. Expediency is never fully actualized, but this is one "step" you can take in that direction.

3. Teach yourself how to fly. I still stand by the belief that the only reason humanity has not learned how to fly without the use of an aircraft is a result of not enough time. Time that is wasted sitting on your rear for a ride is that very time needed to discover the method by which a human being can fly simply by the force of their will. I have personally made great lengths at this, but have not been completely successful yet.

2. Train your dog to carry you like a horse carries a man. Dogs have a secret - and that secret is that they are fully capable of hoisting a human on their backs and running for long distances. It's just their pride that keeps them from submitting in this way. The whole pride issue began when humans started taking dogs into their houses and feeding them at no cost. But that is a rant for another day. If you don't have a dog, there are other options. Kittens for example. Sure, they're not strong enough to hoist a human, or even a fat child, but they are quite adept at networking. And if a kitten really levels with you, it will tell you that their posse of kittens is a phone call away from teaming together to carry you wherever you need to go. The day I see a man being carried down the street by a small mob of kittens is the day I will finally have faith in humanity.

1. Blog. Some people like to blog when they are feeling most emotional, or on a Friday night when they should be out with their friends. The truth is, blogging is overrated and should be relegated to those small throwaway times as we wait for a ride.

Top 6 Accessories That Make You Cooler

6. Piercing (Varied) - This is the go to. Nothing says that you are respectable more than your willingness to put holes in your body. This practice is all about sticking it to the man. Piercings used to be a way to mark slaves, but that's the beauty of it. You willingly put a hole in your body to say that you will assume the role of self-slavery sooner than the role of man-slavery. The man hates it when you do it, because he wants you to be his slave. He's a jerk.
5. Sweatbands - These used to be considered a sign of loserdom. However, once people realized how practical they actually were, they dominated the realms of the reputable. I put one of these on once, and instantly, I could do no wrong. They're especially cool if you wear one while not playing spots. A cop pulled me over, but once he saw that I was wearing a headband, he ticketed himself. Then I ticketed him too.
4. Wristbands - Often worn by rock stars, these handy items make it look that your wrists are so powerful that they need to be suppressed. Do not confuse these with wristwatches, which are NOT cool. Cool people do not wear wristwatches because they are not limited by time, but make time.
3. Handbags - Not to be confused with purses. These "handy" items allow you to store all of your possessions in a place other than your pockets, which would just look ridiculous since it would bulge out.
2. Blackberry - Nothing says you're with it more than having your life organized. Also, these babies function as portable mothers - they make sure you're doing everything you're supposed to.
1. = Against the Sabre = A significant other - As much as single people want to war against this, the truth is that having another person in your life is a status symbol. In fact, it is THE status symbol. Some say that these are good for other things as well, like love and companionship, but the truth is, the status is the best past.

Top 6 Reasons You Want To Join My Revolution

6. Your life is boring. You get riled up watching movies about fighting for freedom and wish that you had a chance to do the same. This is your chance.
5. You've been hurt before. Although you may not see it, the cause of your hurt was StopFive Records. You need to get revenge.
4. This is a reputable media source. If you subscribe to it, you pretty much have it made. I have a masters in journalism and all sorts of crazy connections. If you can say that you wrote on this blog and worked with me, it would give you great street cred.
3. You had a dream that you could not interpret. The interpretation is thus - that you are to join my revolution. I had a dream the other night that I hid my pet horse in between the pages of a book, and when I opened it, he was only a drawing. I could never get my pet horse back. That fuels me in the cause.
2. You're single. Quality singles are waiting for you here at StopSix Records. I'm not one, but I'm sure there will be some. Being a writer on the blog will get them interested in you. If you don't choose to write, you will be single forever. And hate it.
1. I'm asking politely.

So - leave a comment if you want to join this revolution.

Top 6 Who's Who

6. StopFive Records - These are the enemy. In a historical motif, they are most obviously the Czars of monastic Russia with their exclusivistic ideals. In a galactic historical motif, they are the cantina owner who refused to serve droids. To discover more of their elitism, visit StopFive Records.
5. StopFour Records - This is our ally. In a historical motif, it is the brotherhood of the French Revolution. Ever loyal, ever true and possessing a heart full of song. In a galactic historical motif, it is a friendly Ewok. To aid this noble effort, be sure to visit StopFour Records.
4. Finneas - This is myself, the last remaining champion of idealism. In a historical motif, I am like William Wallace. In a galactic historical motif, I am Han Solo. With jedi powers. To learn more about me, take the time to sit down and listen to my problems.
3. ValuSave - This is the barbaric institution that I am convinced is in partnership with StopFive Records. In a historical motif, they are sweat shops. In a galactic historical motif, they are the Death Star. The second one. To learn more about the revolting reality that is the ValuSave, check out Finding Finneas.
2. You - This is the change agent. In a historical context, you are the proles of Orwell's 1984. In a galactic historical context, you are Obi-Wan Kenobi - our only hope.
1. Destiny - Where all of these figureheads collide. In a historical context, it is still destiny. In the galactic historical context, it is the force. To be a part of it, join and continue to support StopSix and StopFour Records as we seek to right all that is wrong in the world.