So I'm back in Victoria all be it for who knows how long but my friend and I have a nice little place we call Capital Hill. Named after the glorious capital in Washington D.C. and I truly believe believe we are an extension of that inspirational instution and here is why...
6) We Hate Communism- Nothing grinds our gears more than Socialist ideas. One of our friends hate capitalism and loves Marx like the Lover she truly wants. We constantly remind her how she gets to our house, by money. Money to pay for gas, for her car, for her clothes. If those Commi bastards came over to Canada we would all be driving Russian motor bikes that run on good intentions going from farm to farm for the collective good of the country, collective good, who needs that?
5) Were both White Men- Everyone knows that the people who get things done are white men. Were the ones who colonized the world and got rid of terrorists because they attacked America. If it wasn't for the white man, I would not be writing this at a computer with a light over my head, take that Women's Studies.
4) We Love Freedom- Nothing says freedom like walking home to your furnished place and watching a sporting event on a huge TV in High Definition while having five different appliances run at once. Because of the post above, Im able to live a life free of tyranny and fear because Al Quadia is on the run. With America showing all freedom and courage to fight against these evil doers, it inspires me to live my life with the most excess possible and know that I deserve it because Im friends with America. Which leads me to my next point.
3) We Love America- Honestly, when has America ever steered us wrong. Looking back at all the times it saved us from a potential deadly foe. Do I need to list them? The USSR, Vietnam, Iraq, Iran. These countries all wanted to bring America to its knees with their socialist ways and potential nuclear weapons but do you know who stood tall in the face of adversity, men like George Bush and Richard Nixon were shining lights in a dark world. Both me and my roommate say how thankful we are that we can live here and be free because of the glorious battles won in the fields of Vietnam or by the fearless spies in Moscow. One more thing, WW2, look who brought the pain to those Nazi's.
2) We Love Capitalism- Who doesn't? It get things done and pays the bill so corporate CEO's can fly in their private jets to Gilbraltar for the weekend. people say Capitalism is flawed because it exposes rescources and makes the richer even more rich and poorer even more poor. We got news for you, its called life. People may also say that the economic collapse last fall showed Capitalism's flaws. We say it was like when Optimus Prime was defeated in Transformer's 2, he might have shown weakness, but he came back stronger than ever and destroyed Megatron or whatever that guys name was (Probably Lenin or Stalin). Were all about earning money so we can purchase items for ourselves in a business interaction.
1) We Love Barack- What a story, a society so loving and accepting of all cultures throughout its history. The elect a mn based on the quality of their character, not the color of their skin. Even though a self proclaimed "Maverick" was tempting, Americ showed it was color blind. For that we salute America (Refer to Post#3) for being mature and grown up. As we speak I am looking at the Barack poster in our living room saying to all of us, "Our destiny isn't written for us, but by us." Wow, what can you say other than that is the man to lead this world into a future brighter than the sun.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Top 6 Forms of Alternative Transportation
Everybody's going green these days, and since I follow crowds, I guess I will too.
6. A Cannon - You know what grinds my gears? It's how the circus doesn't get enough blame. Who pioneered animal cruelty? Who first made a mockery of funny-looking and genetically damaged people? Who invented clowns? Who forced nimble people to flip around at dangerous heights and perform death-defying feats with no regard for their safety? Nowadays, people still love the circus. You may think the Cirque de Soleil is all trendy and whatnot, but I guarantee you that somewhere in the back some clowns are beating on poor acrobatic bear-mutants.
But the one thing that the circus has done right was the usage of cannons. Not only are they fuel-efficient, they're a whole lot faster than what you're probably used to. Also, they most likely won't break down as much as your car since all you need is a tube and an explosion! Maybe a helmet too...
5. An Umbrella - Everyone's talking about using wind power these days. So how come nobody mentions wind's best friend - the umbrella? Merely open it on a blustery day and you're off! The downsides are that you have absolutely no control over where you go, and if the wind isn't in your favor, then you're screwed. However, it forces you to stay in shape because otherwise you'll never make it off the ground.
4. Pipes - Contrary to popular belief, you can actually defy gravity in these bad boys. You don't always fall down them, but can also go up, sideways or a combination of any directions you want! Just watch out for piranha flowers.
3. Magic Carpet - Great for a date.
2. Mechanized Robotic Exoskeleton - You know what else grinds my gears? People abusing their power. It's the only reason we don't all have our own personal mechanized robotic exoskeletons. It was fun for everyone at first, using their rocket thrusters to zoom all around and whatnot. Then, some joker goes ahead and uses the built-in laser-guided "Meteor Storm" cluster bomb device. BAM! Nobody gets to use them anymore.
1. Flying - There are millions of people who can fly. If only they believed...
6. A Cannon - You know what grinds my gears? It's how the circus doesn't get enough blame. Who pioneered animal cruelty? Who first made a mockery of funny-looking and genetically damaged people? Who invented clowns? Who forced nimble people to flip around at dangerous heights and perform death-defying feats with no regard for their safety? Nowadays, people still love the circus. You may think the Cirque de Soleil is all trendy and whatnot, but I guarantee you that somewhere in the back some clowns are beating on poor acrobatic bear-mutants.
But the one thing that the circus has done right was the usage of cannons. Not only are they fuel-efficient, they're a whole lot faster than what you're probably used to. Also, they most likely won't break down as much as your car since all you need is a tube and an explosion! Maybe a helmet too...
5. An Umbrella - Everyone's talking about using wind power these days. So how come nobody mentions wind's best friend - the umbrella? Merely open it on a blustery day and you're off! The downsides are that you have absolutely no control over where you go, and if the wind isn't in your favor, then you're screwed. However, it forces you to stay in shape because otherwise you'll never make it off the ground.
4. Pipes - Contrary to popular belief, you can actually defy gravity in these bad boys. You don't always fall down them, but can also go up, sideways or a combination of any directions you want! Just watch out for piranha flowers.
3. Magic Carpet - Great for a date.
2. Mechanized Robotic Exoskeleton - You know what else grinds my gears? People abusing their power. It's the only reason we don't all have our own personal mechanized robotic exoskeletons. It was fun for everyone at first, using their rocket thrusters to zoom all around and whatnot. Then, some joker goes ahead and uses the built-in laser-guided "Meteor Storm" cluster bomb device. BAM! Nobody gets to use them anymore.
1. Flying - There are millions of people who can fly. If only they believed...
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