Everybody's going green these days, and since I follow crowds, I guess I will too.
6. A Cannon - You know what grinds my gears? It's how the circus doesn't get enough blame. Who pioneered animal cruelty? Who first made a mockery of funny-looking and genetically damaged people? Who invented clowns? Who forced nimble people to flip around at dangerous heights and perform death-defying feats with no regard for their safety? Nowadays, people still love the circus. You may think the Cirque de Soleil is all trendy and whatnot, but I guarantee you that somewhere in the back some clowns are beating on poor acrobatic bear-mutants.
But the one thing that the circus has done right was the usage of cannons. Not only are they fuel-efficient, they're a whole lot faster than what you're probably used to. Also, they most likely won't break down as much as your car since all you need is a tube and an explosion! Maybe a helmet too...
5. An Umbrella - Everyone's talking about using wind power these days. So how come nobody mentions wind's best friend - the umbrella? Merely open it on a blustery day and you're off! The downsides are that you have absolutely no control over where you go, and if the wind isn't in your favor, then you're screwed. However, it forces you to stay in shape because otherwise you'll never make it off the ground.
4. Pipes - Contrary to popular belief, you can actually defy gravity in these bad boys. You don't always fall down them, but can also go up, sideways or a combination of any directions you want! Just watch out for piranha flowers.
3. Magic Carpet - Great for a date.
2. Mechanized Robotic Exoskeleton - You know what else grinds my gears? People abusing their power. It's the only reason we don't all have our own personal mechanized robotic exoskeletons. It was fun for everyone at first, using their rocket thrusters to zoom all around and whatnot. Then, some joker goes ahead and uses the built-in laser-guided "Meteor Storm" cluster bomb device. BAM! Nobody gets to use them anymore.
1. Flying - There are millions of people who can fly. If only they believed...
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