Friday, February 19, 2010

Top 6 Ninja Turtles Characters

Unfortunately, I can only choose six.

6. Leonardo - Although everyone wanted to be the blue-masked leader of green gang when they played Ninja Turtles on the school playground, it was for all the wrong reasons. The kids who wanted to be Leo (myself included) were just power-tripping. They wanted to don the mantle of Leonardo so that they could be in charge. That's all Leonardo really had going for him. That, the color blue and the sweet swords. However, a more mature view of Leo realizes that he really didn't have much in the way of personality or charisma. In fact, he was a little bossy. Leonardo was always trying train harder and learn all he could from that stupid rat-sensei Splinter. Lame. But, he was still a turtle, so he does belong on this list.

5. April O'Neil - April was the leading lady and leading human all in one. Due to the species difference, there wasn't any of that silly romance junk that infected so many other good cartoons. Sure, she did get captured by the enemy from time to time, but she also showed resilience in helping the turtles out in substantial ways. April also demonstrated a strong sense of adaptability - meeting turtle and rat mutants in a sewer would be enough to send some folks to the madhouse. But not April! She also had that sweet yellow jumpsuit.

4. Donatello - I had a bit of a Donatello phase. It was mainly due to the fact that he was far superior to the other three in the original NES turtles video game due to the length of his weapon. It's Bo staff, and it's awesome. Don proved himself vital to the team many times with his gadgets, gizmos and scientific know-how. Half the things that made the turtles so radical, like the Turtle Van or their hover skateboards, would not have been possible without his inexplicable turtle-mutant intellectual wizardry.

3. Raphael - I feel like Ralph always got a bad rap because his weapons were a little silly. It wasn't until my later years that I realized Ralph to be the most interesting turtle personality-wise. Ralph often employed sarcasm, a nuance that was beyond me in my earlier years. Also, you got the impression that he was one degree away from being a bad guy. We all know the best heroes are the ones that could just as easily be villians. Unlike that silly Leonardo and his silly ideals.

2. Michaelangelo - Mikey is the highest-ranked turtle because he embodies what we all remember and love about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - partying, pizza and the term 'Cowabunga'. His character may not be that deep, but I am continually amazed at his ability to make pizza-related comments. And nunchuks were, are and always will be awesome.

1. The Shredder - First of all, he was voiced by Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Already enough reason for him to top this list. Secondly, and more importantly, Shredder was far from the cut-and-dry villian of late 80's/early 90's cartoons. Sure, he was an ex-ninja master with a ridiculous name and silly spikey armor. But what I didn't pick up when I was young was how delightfully inept he was. Shredder was the puppet of some alien brain-thing name Krang and demonstrated persistence in managing to foul up attempts at taking out the turtles. He wasn't the pure evil villian with no personality. Rather, he was a cape-wearing blundering fool who couldn't even conquer a group of mutant turtles. Don't worry though, Shredder, for you have conquered our hearts.

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