6) My Name- Mark is only one syllable, just like the name James. Put the name Bond at the end and it sounds more like James Bond, the name is Mark, Mark Bond. Sounds more like the movie.
5) I Like Turkey- I love eating turkey dinners, I could eat them at least once a week and I appreciate them for what they are, a delicious family tradition.
4) I'm Good at Meeting the Parents- I think we all know how much Alysha's parents love me and I think I could demand the same respect and fondness from Ian's parents as well. Tell a few jokes, tell them I think there son is a hard worker and they'll be head over heels for me.
3) I Know the Local Sports Teams- Mr. Bond and I could sit down and enjoy the local sporting event like watching the Cincinnati Bengals play football or the Cleveland Cavaliers play basketball. I feel like it could be some bonding moments that could once again score me points.
2) I've Also Worked at a Camp- I know both Becca and Ian have worked at a camp, but so have I. The stories I have are just as relevant as their stories. I could tug on the Bond's heart strings with an emotional story about the troubled kid or tell them a bust a gut funny story about kids wetting their beds, really, I have all the basics covered.
1) I Know American History- I've studied the Ohio River Valley, I know George Washington attacked a small French settlement which sparked the French Indian War which then sparked the 7 Years War which changed history. I could take the Bond family on a tour of their own state and tell them about it.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Top Six Thoughts Keeping Me Awake Right Now
1- I should not drink coffee at 3pm when I have to get up at 5:20am the next morning.
2 - Why won't my hair stay clean for longer than 15 minutes after I shower? I'm going to look like a slob upon arrival tomorrow.
3 - Is my computer really an essential item to bring this weekend? How will I get it through security? Which bag should I put it in?
4 - Why is my cat snoring?
5 - If I fell asleep right now I'd get 3hrs and 10 mins of sleep.
6 - What if my plane crashes on an island that no one can find? I would stay faithful to Ian...even if Jack Shepherd was there. I promise. If my plane disappears, please look near Fiji...and beware of electromagnetic....something...I still don't quite understand how the whole Lost thing works
2 - Why won't my hair stay clean for longer than 15 minutes after I shower? I'm going to look like a slob upon arrival tomorrow.
3 - Is my computer really an essential item to bring this weekend? How will I get it through security? Which bag should I put it in?
4 - Why is my cat snoring?
5 - If I fell asleep right now I'd get 3hrs and 10 mins of sleep.
6 - What if my plane crashes on an island that no one can find? I would stay faithful to Ian...even if Jack Shepherd was there. I promise. If my plane disappears, please look near Fiji...and beware of electromagnetic....something...I still don't quite understand how the whole Lost thing works
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Top Six Things To Do in the Mall When You Forget Your Debit Card
This may or may not have happened to me today. I may or may not have had $9.50 in my wallet. I may or may not have done all of these things. you will have to guess.
6- Go into dressing rooms and listen to the conversations that the attendants are having. Apparently Girl A and Boy A are a really cute couple but Girl A doesn't like that Boy A tells his best friend, Girl B that he loves her. Ouch.
5- Go into stores that you don't usually frequent. Jewelery stores are fun, and sparkley. The Store of Knives doesn't only have knives, they also have fun gadgets like ice cream scoops and vegetable peelers. Who knew?
4 - Instead of passing by all those kiosk workers you usually ignore, let them give you their speal about how great their product is. Takes up time and allows them to practice for people who actually have money.
3 - Try on clothes that you would never actually buy or afford. It's fun to pretend you can afford a $200 dress. Plus it makes you feel like a movie star.
2 - Buy a cheap book and read it in the food court. My suggestion - any Archie Comic of your choice. Sure to take up at least an hour.
1 - Go into stores and talk to people. Every time you talk to a new person, use a different accent. Make up fun stories about where you are from. or pretend you don't speak english and you have a really urgent problem, this one only works if you speak more than one language....or are good at faking one.
6- Go into dressing rooms and listen to the conversations that the attendants are having. Apparently Girl A and Boy A are a really cute couple but Girl A doesn't like that Boy A tells his best friend, Girl B that he loves her. Ouch.
5- Go into stores that you don't usually frequent. Jewelery stores are fun, and sparkley. The Store of Knives doesn't only have knives, they also have fun gadgets like ice cream scoops and vegetable peelers. Who knew?
4 - Instead of passing by all those kiosk workers you usually ignore, let them give you their speal about how great their product is. Takes up time and allows them to practice for people who actually have money.
3 - Try on clothes that you would never actually buy or afford. It's fun to pretend you can afford a $200 dress. Plus it makes you feel like a movie star.
2 - Buy a cheap book and read it in the food court. My suggestion - any Archie Comic of your choice. Sure to take up at least an hour.
1 - Go into stores and talk to people. Every time you talk to a new person, use a different accent. Make up fun stories about where you are from. or pretend you don't speak english and you have a really urgent problem, this one only works if you speak more than one language....or are good at faking one.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Top 6 Bears
Because Ursidae are our friends.
6. Yogi - I really hate cartoons where the protagonist is a bumbling loser who makes life hard for another character who's just trying to do his best. Naturally, I'm not a fan of Yogi Bear. Ranger Smith is just trying to keep things at Jellystone park going fine, and there's Yogi stealing all of the "pikinik" baskets. However, Yogi is a pretty big deal, so I'll give him some props and put him in at number 6.
5. Paddington - Before I even knew that this bear had his own cartoon show, I remember having a small Paddington Bear calendar. All of the pictures featured a stuffed-animal version of Paddington in some of the coziest scenes I have seen in my life. I longed to be in that cozy world of Paddington, and I still do. Props to you Paddington for finding the coziest things in life.
4. Smokey the - He's really just concerned about forest fires. Unfortunately, he hasn't yet learned that uncontrolled forest fires can actually be a help in certain situations, especially in pest management. Maybe Smokey's the guy to blame for the pine beetle problem in British Columbia. Maybe there needs to be another bear that shows Smokey where it's at - that only uncontrolled forest fires can prevent excessive economic damage to human activities by killing off the mountain pine beetles. How about that, Smokey?
3. Bear Grylls - Anyone can survive in the wilderness - it's called being a nomad. People did it for years, but then they built houses and lived in those. I don't get the big deal about adding more inconvenience to your life by living with trees. That's what's so great about Bear Grylls of Man vs. Wild fame. He's not actually trying to survive in crazy situations - he's just pretending to and making a lot of money for it. Apparently some of his exploits are faked. I don't know if this is true but, this is a blog and blogs are for perpetuating unsubstantiated rumors.
2. Baloo - Baloo is an inspirational story for us all. He started singing songs to a boy in the Jungle, and ended up becoming a pilot with his own TV show. Not bad for a beast.
1. Winnie the Pooh - Thank you Winnie the Pooh for being my childhood. Thank you that the 100 Acre Wood is a land of endless fun and happiness. Thank you for bringing Tigger into my life. Thank you for having a voice that sounds like my grandmother.
6. Yogi - I really hate cartoons where the protagonist is a bumbling loser who makes life hard for another character who's just trying to do his best. Naturally, I'm not a fan of Yogi Bear. Ranger Smith is just trying to keep things at Jellystone park going fine, and there's Yogi stealing all of the "pikinik" baskets. However, Yogi is a pretty big deal, so I'll give him some props and put him in at number 6.
5. Paddington - Before I even knew that this bear had his own cartoon show, I remember having a small Paddington Bear calendar. All of the pictures featured a stuffed-animal version of Paddington in some of the coziest scenes I have seen in my life. I longed to be in that cozy world of Paddington, and I still do. Props to you Paddington for finding the coziest things in life.
4. Smokey the - He's really just concerned about forest fires. Unfortunately, he hasn't yet learned that uncontrolled forest fires can actually be a help in certain situations, especially in pest management. Maybe Smokey's the guy to blame for the pine beetle problem in British Columbia. Maybe there needs to be another bear that shows Smokey where it's at - that only uncontrolled forest fires can prevent excessive economic damage to human activities by killing off the mountain pine beetles. How about that, Smokey?
3. Bear Grylls - Anyone can survive in the wilderness - it's called being a nomad. People did it for years, but then they built houses and lived in those. I don't get the big deal about adding more inconvenience to your life by living with trees. That's what's so great about Bear Grylls of Man vs. Wild fame. He's not actually trying to survive in crazy situations - he's just pretending to and making a lot of money for it. Apparently some of his exploits are faked. I don't know if this is true but, this is a blog and blogs are for perpetuating unsubstantiated rumors.
2. Baloo - Baloo is an inspirational story for us all. He started singing songs to a boy in the Jungle, and ended up becoming a pilot with his own TV show. Not bad for a beast.
1. Winnie the Pooh - Thank you Winnie the Pooh for being my childhood. Thank you that the 100 Acre Wood is a land of endless fun and happiness. Thank you for bringing Tigger into my life. Thank you for having a voice that sounds like my grandmother.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Top Six Things That Grind My Gears Today
6) Food - I have a sensitive stomach. The cafeteria food at school makes it feel like it is exploding. The cafeteria food also makes my taste buds which they were non existant.
5) Money - I lost my job yesterday. They're closing down the bookstore at school for the rest of the semester. Thus I have no job as of now.
4) Noise - The boys above me are loud. Real loud. They play stupid music and thump around like they are elephants. No one cares that it bothers me.
3) Long Distance Relationships - no explanation needed
2) Internet - it is slow.
1) Sickness - my throat started hurting. i have a cough. i am nauseous. if you don't hear from me for awhile you might want to check if i've died of swine flu.
I am thinking that if things don't get better I might just pull a Finneas and drop out with one semester left of school.
5) Money - I lost my job yesterday. They're closing down the bookstore at school for the rest of the semester. Thus I have no job as of now.
4) Noise - The boys above me are loud. Real loud. They play stupid music and thump around like they are elephants. No one cares that it bothers me.
3) Long Distance Relationships - no explanation needed
2) Internet - it is slow.
1) Sickness - my throat started hurting. i have a cough. i am nauseous. if you don't hear from me for awhile you might want to check if i've died of swine flu.
I am thinking that if things don't get better I might just pull a Finneas and drop out with one semester left of school.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Top 6 reasons Capital Hill is a Beacon of Hope
So I'm back in Victoria all be it for who knows how long but my friend and I have a nice little place we call Capital Hill. Named after the glorious capital in Washington D.C. and I truly believe believe we are an extension of that inspirational instution and here is why...
6) We Hate Communism- Nothing grinds our gears more than Socialist ideas. One of our friends hate capitalism and loves Marx like the Lover she truly wants. We constantly remind her how she gets to our house, by money. Money to pay for gas, for her car, for her clothes. If those Commi bastards came over to Canada we would all be driving Russian motor bikes that run on good intentions going from farm to farm for the collective good of the country, collective good, who needs that?
5) Were both White Men- Everyone knows that the people who get things done are white men. Were the ones who colonized the world and got rid of terrorists because they attacked America. If it wasn't for the white man, I would not be writing this at a computer with a light over my head, take that Women's Studies.
4) We Love Freedom- Nothing says freedom like walking home to your furnished place and watching a sporting event on a huge TV in High Definition while having five different appliances run at once. Because of the post above, Im able to live a life free of tyranny and fear because Al Quadia is on the run. With America showing all freedom and courage to fight against these evil doers, it inspires me to live my life with the most excess possible and know that I deserve it because Im friends with America. Which leads me to my next point.
3) We Love America- Honestly, when has America ever steered us wrong. Looking back at all the times it saved us from a potential deadly foe. Do I need to list them? The USSR, Vietnam, Iraq, Iran. These countries all wanted to bring America to its knees with their socialist ways and potential nuclear weapons but do you know who stood tall in the face of adversity, men like George Bush and Richard Nixon were shining lights in a dark world. Both me and my roommate say how thankful we are that we can live here and be free because of the glorious battles won in the fields of Vietnam or by the fearless spies in Moscow. One more thing, WW2, look who brought the pain to those Nazi's.
2) We Love Capitalism- Who doesn't? It get things done and pays the bill so corporate CEO's can fly in their private jets to Gilbraltar for the weekend. people say Capitalism is flawed because it exposes rescources and makes the richer even more rich and poorer even more poor. We got news for you, its called life. People may also say that the economic collapse last fall showed Capitalism's flaws. We say it was like when Optimus Prime was defeated in Transformer's 2, he might have shown weakness, but he came back stronger than ever and destroyed Megatron or whatever that guys name was (Probably Lenin or Stalin). Were all about earning money so we can purchase items for ourselves in a business interaction.
1) We Love Barack- What a story, a society so loving and accepting of all cultures throughout its history. The elect a mn based on the quality of their character, not the color of their skin. Even though a self proclaimed "Maverick" was tempting, Americ showed it was color blind. For that we salute America (Refer to Post#3) for being mature and grown up. As we speak I am looking at the Barack poster in our living room saying to all of us, "Our destiny isn't written for us, but by us." Wow, what can you say other than that is the man to lead this world into a future brighter than the sun.
6) We Hate Communism- Nothing grinds our gears more than Socialist ideas. One of our friends hate capitalism and loves Marx like the Lover she truly wants. We constantly remind her how she gets to our house, by money. Money to pay for gas, for her car, for her clothes. If those Commi bastards came over to Canada we would all be driving Russian motor bikes that run on good intentions going from farm to farm for the collective good of the country, collective good, who needs that?
5) Were both White Men- Everyone knows that the people who get things done are white men. Were the ones who colonized the world and got rid of terrorists because they attacked America. If it wasn't for the white man, I would not be writing this at a computer with a light over my head, take that Women's Studies.
4) We Love Freedom- Nothing says freedom like walking home to your furnished place and watching a sporting event on a huge TV in High Definition while having five different appliances run at once. Because of the post above, Im able to live a life free of tyranny and fear because Al Quadia is on the run. With America showing all freedom and courage to fight against these evil doers, it inspires me to live my life with the most excess possible and know that I deserve it because Im friends with America. Which leads me to my next point.
3) We Love America- Honestly, when has America ever steered us wrong. Looking back at all the times it saved us from a potential deadly foe. Do I need to list them? The USSR, Vietnam, Iraq, Iran. These countries all wanted to bring America to its knees with their socialist ways and potential nuclear weapons but do you know who stood tall in the face of adversity, men like George Bush and Richard Nixon were shining lights in a dark world. Both me and my roommate say how thankful we are that we can live here and be free because of the glorious battles won in the fields of Vietnam or by the fearless spies in Moscow. One more thing, WW2, look who brought the pain to those Nazi's.
2) We Love Capitalism- Who doesn't? It get things done and pays the bill so corporate CEO's can fly in their private jets to Gilbraltar for the weekend. people say Capitalism is flawed because it exposes rescources and makes the richer even more rich and poorer even more poor. We got news for you, its called life. People may also say that the economic collapse last fall showed Capitalism's flaws. We say it was like when Optimus Prime was defeated in Transformer's 2, he might have shown weakness, but he came back stronger than ever and destroyed Megatron or whatever that guys name was (Probably Lenin or Stalin). Were all about earning money so we can purchase items for ourselves in a business interaction.
1) We Love Barack- What a story, a society so loving and accepting of all cultures throughout its history. The elect a mn based on the quality of their character, not the color of their skin. Even though a self proclaimed "Maverick" was tempting, Americ showed it was color blind. For that we salute America (Refer to Post#3) for being mature and grown up. As we speak I am looking at the Barack poster in our living room saying to all of us, "Our destiny isn't written for us, but by us." Wow, what can you say other than that is the man to lead this world into a future brighter than the sun.
Top 6 Forms of Alternative Transportation
Everybody's going green these days, and since I follow crowds, I guess I will too.
6. A Cannon - You know what grinds my gears? It's how the circus doesn't get enough blame. Who pioneered animal cruelty? Who first made a mockery of funny-looking and genetically damaged people? Who invented clowns? Who forced nimble people to flip around at dangerous heights and perform death-defying feats with no regard for their safety? Nowadays, people still love the circus. You may think the Cirque de Soleil is all trendy and whatnot, but I guarantee you that somewhere in the back some clowns are beating on poor acrobatic bear-mutants.
But the one thing that the circus has done right was the usage of cannons. Not only are they fuel-efficient, they're a whole lot faster than what you're probably used to. Also, they most likely won't break down as much as your car since all you need is a tube and an explosion! Maybe a helmet too...
5. An Umbrella - Everyone's talking about using wind power these days. So how come nobody mentions wind's best friend - the umbrella? Merely open it on a blustery day and you're off! The downsides are that you have absolutely no control over where you go, and if the wind isn't in your favor, then you're screwed. However, it forces you to stay in shape because otherwise you'll never make it off the ground.
4. Pipes - Contrary to popular belief, you can actually defy gravity in these bad boys. You don't always fall down them, but can also go up, sideways or a combination of any directions you want! Just watch out for piranha flowers.
3. Magic Carpet - Great for a date.
2. Mechanized Robotic Exoskeleton - You know what else grinds my gears? People abusing their power. It's the only reason we don't all have our own personal mechanized robotic exoskeletons. It was fun for everyone at first, using their rocket thrusters to zoom all around and whatnot. Then, some joker goes ahead and uses the built-in laser-guided "Meteor Storm" cluster bomb device. BAM! Nobody gets to use them anymore.
1. Flying - There are millions of people who can fly. If only they believed...
6. A Cannon - You know what grinds my gears? It's how the circus doesn't get enough blame. Who pioneered animal cruelty? Who first made a mockery of funny-looking and genetically damaged people? Who invented clowns? Who forced nimble people to flip around at dangerous heights and perform death-defying feats with no regard for their safety? Nowadays, people still love the circus. You may think the Cirque de Soleil is all trendy and whatnot, but I guarantee you that somewhere in the back some clowns are beating on poor acrobatic bear-mutants.
But the one thing that the circus has done right was the usage of cannons. Not only are they fuel-efficient, they're a whole lot faster than what you're probably used to. Also, they most likely won't break down as much as your car since all you need is a tube and an explosion! Maybe a helmet too...
5. An Umbrella - Everyone's talking about using wind power these days. So how come nobody mentions wind's best friend - the umbrella? Merely open it on a blustery day and you're off! The downsides are that you have absolutely no control over where you go, and if the wind isn't in your favor, then you're screwed. However, it forces you to stay in shape because otherwise you'll never make it off the ground.
4. Pipes - Contrary to popular belief, you can actually defy gravity in these bad boys. You don't always fall down them, but can also go up, sideways or a combination of any directions you want! Just watch out for piranha flowers.
3. Magic Carpet - Great for a date.
2. Mechanized Robotic Exoskeleton - You know what else grinds my gears? People abusing their power. It's the only reason we don't all have our own personal mechanized robotic exoskeletons. It was fun for everyone at first, using their rocket thrusters to zoom all around and whatnot. Then, some joker goes ahead and uses the built-in laser-guided "Meteor Storm" cluster bomb device. BAM! Nobody gets to use them anymore.
1. Flying - There are millions of people who can fly. If only they believed...
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