Everybody's going green these days, and since I follow crowds, I guess I will too.
6. A Cannon - You know what grinds my gears? It's how the circus doesn't get enough blame. Who pioneered animal cruelty? Who first made a mockery of funny-looking and genetically damaged people? Who invented clowns? Who forced nimble people to flip around at dangerous heights and perform death-defying feats with no regard for their safety? Nowadays, people still love the circus. You may think the Cirque de Soleil is all trendy and whatnot, but I guarantee you that somewhere in the back some clowns are beating on poor acrobatic bear-mutants.
But the one thing that the circus has done right was the usage of cannons. Not only are they fuel-efficient, they're a whole lot faster than what you're probably used to. Also, they most likely won't break down as much as your car since all you need is a tube and an explosion! Maybe a helmet too...
5. An Umbrella - Everyone's talking about using wind power these days. So how come nobody mentions wind's best friend - the umbrella? Merely open it on a blustery day and you're off! The downsides are that you have absolutely no control over where you go, and if the wind isn't in your favor, then you're screwed. However, it forces you to stay in shape because otherwise you'll never make it off the ground.
4. Pipes - Contrary to popular belief, you can actually defy gravity in these bad boys. You don't always fall down them, but can also go up, sideways or a combination of any directions you want! Just watch out for piranha flowers.
3. Magic Carpet - Great for a date.
2. Mechanized Robotic Exoskeleton - You know what else grinds my gears? People abusing their power. It's the only reason we don't all have our own personal mechanized robotic exoskeletons. It was fun for everyone at first, using their rocket thrusters to zoom all around and whatnot. Then, some joker goes ahead and uses the built-in laser-guided "Meteor Storm" cluster bomb device. BAM! Nobody gets to use them anymore.
1. Flying - There are millions of people who can fly. If only they believed...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Top 6 Television Characters That Epitomize My Character Flaws
I am not perfect, and TV has helped me better understand that.
6. Dr. Dorian, Scrubs - JD may be ridiculous in a charming sort of way, but he has a fairly big flaw. That flaw is his belief that people are interested in his life. Don't get me wrong, I find his life pretty interesting at points. But truthfully it is a little pretentious to think that people want to follow eight-plus years of your life and witness your every odd thought and experience. I can't be too harsh on JD, however, since I also consider my life experiences to be worth sharing. Many victims of my self-centric existence have been made subject to boring tales of my life that I find fascinating.
5. Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld - A lot of people enjoy Seinfeld because the characters are such losers. I'm not so quick to say that myself, since I relate to the characters more often than I should. The best example of this is found in Jerry, when he claims that he doesn't want to be with a girl with "man hands". I understand that. Like Jerry, I have often turned aside many good things because of minute details that I obsess over.
4. Peter Parker, Spider-Man - Just because you have super powers doesn't entitle you to be the determining force of justice. There is a legal system in place, and it applies to all members of society - mutant or not. Although I am still not a mutant, I still think that I know better than everyone else. Silly, silly me.
3. James Ford a.k.a. "Sawyer", Lost - Sawyer likes to give people nicknames. He thinks it is funny. They don't like it. I tried nicknaming everyone at my old school because I thought it would be funny. Nobody liked it. So I stopped.
2. Michael Scott, The Office - The difference between Michael and I is sheer ignorance. Michael says terribly awkward things because he doesn't know better. I like to say such things because I think there is a lot of good in bringing up uncomfortable truths. I guess that makes me worse than Michael, since I can't even play the ignorance card.
1. Dr. Gregory House, House M.D. - There's a lot of things wrong with House, but the one I'm most related to myself is his inability to let things go. There's nothing like wasting three hours on your computer trying to figure out a single question on your Chemistry pre-lab that makes you realize that maybe it's okay not to have all the answers. Like House, I've heard this many times, yet I still keep trying.
6. Dr. Dorian, Scrubs - JD may be ridiculous in a charming sort of way, but he has a fairly big flaw. That flaw is his belief that people are interested in his life. Don't get me wrong, I find his life pretty interesting at points. But truthfully it is a little pretentious to think that people want to follow eight-plus years of your life and witness your every odd thought and experience. I can't be too harsh on JD, however, since I also consider my life experiences to be worth sharing. Many victims of my self-centric existence have been made subject to boring tales of my life that I find fascinating.
5. Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld - A lot of people enjoy Seinfeld because the characters are such losers. I'm not so quick to say that myself, since I relate to the characters more often than I should. The best example of this is found in Jerry, when he claims that he doesn't want to be with a girl with "man hands". I understand that. Like Jerry, I have often turned aside many good things because of minute details that I obsess over.
4. Peter Parker, Spider-Man - Just because you have super powers doesn't entitle you to be the determining force of justice. There is a legal system in place, and it applies to all members of society - mutant or not. Although I am still not a mutant, I still think that I know better than everyone else. Silly, silly me.
3. James Ford a.k.a. "Sawyer", Lost - Sawyer likes to give people nicknames. He thinks it is funny. They don't like it. I tried nicknaming everyone at my old school because I thought it would be funny. Nobody liked it. So I stopped.
2. Michael Scott, The Office - The difference between Michael and I is sheer ignorance. Michael says terribly awkward things because he doesn't know better. I like to say such things because I think there is a lot of good in bringing up uncomfortable truths. I guess that makes me worse than Michael, since I can't even play the ignorance card.
1. Dr. Gregory House, House M.D. - There's a lot of things wrong with House, but the one I'm most related to myself is his inability to let things go. There's nothing like wasting three hours on your computer trying to figure out a single question on your Chemistry pre-lab that makes you realize that maybe it's okay not to have all the answers. Like House, I've heard this many times, yet I still keep trying.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Top 6 Things That Suck About The "In Between Times"
Camp ended on Saturday and I don't move in to school until Sunday. LAME.
6. You never know when to eat - When you are on a schedule, such as at Camp or School, you have set meal times. The past few days I have wandered into the kitchen much more often than necessary or (like today) forgotten to eat.
5. It seems useless to unpack - Thus all of my stuff is sitting around my room unorganizedly just waiting to be moved again.
4. Everyone else is too busy to see you - Everyone else has jobs to do, I only have a week to see people and they are all to busy. Hence...
3. Boredom sets in - I've watched too much TV, checked my facebook countless times and sit waiting for the phone to ring (hoping it's someone calling me back but usually it's not).
2. It's really tempting to lay in bed all day - maybe not a bad thing but at the same time, I like to be productive. I keep trying to convince myself that catching up on sleep IS productive but I don't believe myself...and neither does my mom.
1. I miss people - I think once I get busy with school and student council and ministry and work and life it will be easier to not miss people as much. But right now I miss Firwood and all the people involved. And I keep thinking in worst case senarios and hating that my best friend isn't coming back to school and thinking that no one will want to hang out with me at school and I'll just be a loner all the time. What a sad life that will be...
6. You never know when to eat - When you are on a schedule, such as at Camp or School, you have set meal times. The past few days I have wandered into the kitchen much more often than necessary or (like today) forgotten to eat.
5. It seems useless to unpack - Thus all of my stuff is sitting around my room unorganizedly just waiting to be moved again.
4. Everyone else is too busy to see you - Everyone else has jobs to do, I only have a week to see people and they are all to busy. Hence...
3. Boredom sets in - I've watched too much TV, checked my facebook countless times and sit waiting for the phone to ring (hoping it's someone calling me back but usually it's not).
2. It's really tempting to lay in bed all day - maybe not a bad thing but at the same time, I like to be productive. I keep trying to convince myself that catching up on sleep IS productive but I don't believe myself...and neither does my mom.
1. I miss people - I think once I get busy with school and student council and ministry and work and life it will be easier to not miss people as much. But right now I miss Firwood and all the people involved. And I keep thinking in worst case senarios and hating that my best friend isn't coming back to school and thinking that no one will want to hang out with me at school and I'll just be a loner all the time. What a sad life that will be...
Monday, July 27, 2009
Top 6 Best "Unusual" Places To Be A Doctor
I have ventured on a long path of trying to become a physician. I'm really enjoying it. However, I will enjoy being a doctor a lot more than trying to be one. Or so I hope.
In thinking about my future, I have day-dreamt some fantastical situations that I could get myself into where being a doctor will be even more totally awesome. Here they are:
6. In a regular, social gathering crowd - This is the classic one. Somebody starts choking, faints or bleeding from their eyes and a cry for help is raised. In steps me: "It's okay. I'm a doctor." A hush of awe overcomes the crowd as I pull out my handy-dandy "doctor tool belt" that sports all of the medicine I would ever need (all doctors carry them around). In a few short moments, I would restore the individual back to better health than they ever had. Applause ensues.
5. During a pandemic - I love Organic Chemistry. I never thought that I would be able to say that truly. It's the first class where studying rarely feels like studying. Knowledge of how to synthesize ketones brings me joy. Hopefully I'll continue to study it, so that when that really big pandemic comes and wipes out 2/3 of the world, I'll be okay. I'll be able to synthesize my own antidote and go on a quest to save the world. Despite my best efforts, much tragedy will still result, causing me to be plagued with Schindler-like woe. I will become a dynamic character full of alternating joy and torment. And those are the best kind.
4. On a date - Think of all the wonderfully cheesy lines you could use on a date. Or what if your date experiences a health crisis while dating you? No problem. You save her, and she's yours forever. And getting dates isn't a problem either when you're a doctor.
3. In a war - To be completely honest with you, I think the world is going to explode sometime soon. A lot of people are afraid of that - but not me. As a physician, I will be virtually immortal. Somebody blows my arm off? No problem! I'll just sew it back on. And I wouldn't even have to kill anybody if there were conscription. I could just work at the hospital, taking care of all the wounded.
2. As a castaway on an island - The entire cast of Lost would be dead by now if it weren't for Dr. Jack Shepard.
1. In space - Everything is at its coolest in space.
In thinking about my future, I have day-dreamt some fantastical situations that I could get myself into where being a doctor will be even more totally awesome. Here they are:
6. In a regular, social gathering crowd - This is the classic one. Somebody starts choking, faints or bleeding from their eyes and a cry for help is raised. In steps me: "It's okay. I'm a doctor." A hush of awe overcomes the crowd as I pull out my handy-dandy "doctor tool belt" that sports all of the medicine I would ever need (all doctors carry them around). In a few short moments, I would restore the individual back to better health than they ever had. Applause ensues.
5. During a pandemic - I love Organic Chemistry. I never thought that I would be able to say that truly. It's the first class where studying rarely feels like studying. Knowledge of how to synthesize ketones brings me joy. Hopefully I'll continue to study it, so that when that really big pandemic comes and wipes out 2/3 of the world, I'll be okay. I'll be able to synthesize my own antidote and go on a quest to save the world. Despite my best efforts, much tragedy will still result, causing me to be plagued with Schindler-like woe. I will become a dynamic character full of alternating joy and torment. And those are the best kind.
4. On a date - Think of all the wonderfully cheesy lines you could use on a date. Or what if your date experiences a health crisis while dating you? No problem. You save her, and she's yours forever. And getting dates isn't a problem either when you're a doctor.
3. In a war - To be completely honest with you, I think the world is going to explode sometime soon. A lot of people are afraid of that - but not me. As a physician, I will be virtually immortal. Somebody blows my arm off? No problem! I'll just sew it back on. And I wouldn't even have to kill anybody if there were conscription. I could just work at the hospital, taking care of all the wounded.
2. As a castaway on an island - The entire cast of Lost would be dead by now if it weren't for Dr. Jack Shepard.
1. In space - Everything is at its coolest in space.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Top 6 Things I Love About Junior Campers
I’ve come up with quite a few ideas for blog entries but this is the one that is winning right now. If you haven’t read the post before this by Finneas you a) should and b) won’t know that I am away working at a summer camp in Western Washington. Last week was our first week with Junior Campers and I think they are officially my favorite age group (you can expect future entries on the Top 6 Thing I Love About Junior High Campers and then High School Campers). Junior Campers are grades 3-6.
6) They’re so little. Every single one of them is cute. They run around just being their little selves and it’s adorable.
5) They say hilarious things. One camper last week wrote a story during free time one day. She read it to me and I kept the paper she wrote it on. The first line is "A puppy walking down the road grabbed by a bloody hand...". Creepy? Yes. Hilarious? Obviously.
4) They think you’re great no matter how cool you actually are. There was a camper here to was in my cabin last summer and she was convinced that if she told me she was homesick I would let her go home. Not in my power at all. But we spent a lot of time together and she just really liked me. We didn't do anything amazingly cool but we painted pictures for her counselors and we ran around picking up dodgeballs for the people who were playing dodgeball. Apparently this makes me cool.
3) They are really easily amused. One day last week I played with a couple girls for half an hour. What did we play? How many times can we throw this ball to each other without dropping it? The record was 40.
2) They hug me. I told the counselors that I like it when campers cry because then they hug me. I really like hugs.
1) They wear the same clothes all week. My personal favorite from last week was Beth who wore a blue flannel onesie all week...seriously...every single day. Socks and flip flops were also a part of the getup I believe...
I think I might have to write more about Junior Campers because I really love them. But I'll save it for another week. Maybe Top Six Junior Camper Quotes or something.
6) They’re so little. Every single one of them is cute. They run around just being their little selves and it’s adorable.
5) They say hilarious things. One camper last week wrote a story during free time one day. She read it to me and I kept the paper she wrote it on. The first line is "A puppy walking down the road grabbed by a bloody hand...". Creepy? Yes. Hilarious? Obviously.
4) They think you’re great no matter how cool you actually are. There was a camper here to was in my cabin last summer and she was convinced that if she told me she was homesick I would let her go home. Not in my power at all. But we spent a lot of time together and she just really liked me. We didn't do anything amazingly cool but we painted pictures for her counselors and we ran around picking up dodgeballs for the people who were playing dodgeball. Apparently this makes me cool.
3) They are really easily amused. One day last week I played with a couple girls for half an hour. What did we play? How many times can we throw this ball to each other without dropping it? The record was 40.
2) They hug me. I told the counselors that I like it when campers cry because then they hug me. I really like hugs.
1) They wear the same clothes all week. My personal favorite from last week was Beth who wore a blue flannel onesie all week...seriously...every single day. Socks and flip flops were also a part of the getup I believe...
I think I might have to write more about Junior Campers because I really love them. But I'll save it for another week. Maybe Top Six Junior Camper Quotes or something.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Top 6 Things I Miss About Lady B
Lady B has up and gone away for the rest of the season, and I am much distraught. I knew the summer would be hard without her, but I never thought that even the past few weeks would be as hard as they have already been. This is a tribute to her, and all she does to enrich my life.
6. Her hair - Many poems have been written about women's hair, but none would be able to capture the beauty of Lady B's brunette locks. They are strong, like a douglas fir, yet soft and gentle like a supple field mouse. Her hair carries the scent of everything that is beautiful in the world. She doesn't know this, but I stole a lock of her hair before she left. But it is not enough.
5. Her smile - Some people say that snow is pure. Others claim it about a perfect oyster. Those fools have not seen the brilliance of Lady B's smile. This purity is both literal and metaphorical - she keeps her teeth and her innocence of spirit, which is displayed in her smile, equally clean. When I see her smile, I feel as if the whole world is smiling. Maybe that's because she is my world. She doesn't know this, but I stole her baby teeth. But they are not enough.
4. The Way She Lights Up A Room - I was once in a dark room, full of hurt, despair and anguish. Surrounding me were folks who had been through the worst, seen great loss and felt unbelievable hardship. Then Lady B walked into the room, and that all was forgotten. The cavalcade of sufferers and myself started to leap about with glee. The cries of sorrow turned to cries of ecstasy, for we did not know what we had done to deserve such a wonderful privilege. She doesn't know this, but I stole a picture of her at that moment. But it is not enough to comfort me during her absence.
3. The Way She Makes Me Feel Inside - When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary. When troubles come, and my heart burdened be. Then I am still, and sit there in the silence, until she comes, and sits a while with me. You see, she raises me up, so that I can walk on mountains. She raises me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, only when I am on her shoulders. She raises me up, to more than I can be. She doesn't know this, but this song was actually written for her. Yet it's lyrics do not capture the essence of her essence.
2. Her Elegance - She certainly deserves the "Lady" that is in her name. She is like a fawn of the meadows. She is like a dragon, flying in a summer breeze. She never wears anything less fancy than her best evening gown, and her hair is always perfect. Lady B eats her dessert with the proper fork, and stirs her coffee with the proper spoon. She knows how to discuss political issues of the day in any of the 5 major world languages. She doesn't know this, but I am learning all these languages, so I can come up with more ways to express myself to her. I'm also inventing my own language, that only she and I will share. But I've learned that words cannot convey my feelings.
1. Her Love - Lady B has no spite in her. She does not waste time holding grudges. Many have tried to enrage her for the sake of pure science, but it is impossible. No matter what you do to her, she will overlook it for a greater purpose. This quality of hers, although far from me now, eases my heart. Her love is good enough.
6. Her hair - Many poems have been written about women's hair, but none would be able to capture the beauty of Lady B's brunette locks. They are strong, like a douglas fir, yet soft and gentle like a supple field mouse. Her hair carries the scent of everything that is beautiful in the world. She doesn't know this, but I stole a lock of her hair before she left. But it is not enough.
5. Her smile - Some people say that snow is pure. Others claim it about a perfect oyster. Those fools have not seen the brilliance of Lady B's smile. This purity is both literal and metaphorical - she keeps her teeth and her innocence of spirit, which is displayed in her smile, equally clean. When I see her smile, I feel as if the whole world is smiling. Maybe that's because she is my world. She doesn't know this, but I stole her baby teeth. But they are not enough.
4. The Way She Lights Up A Room - I was once in a dark room, full of hurt, despair and anguish. Surrounding me were folks who had been through the worst, seen great loss and felt unbelievable hardship. Then Lady B walked into the room, and that all was forgotten. The cavalcade of sufferers and myself started to leap about with glee. The cries of sorrow turned to cries of ecstasy, for we did not know what we had done to deserve such a wonderful privilege. She doesn't know this, but I stole a picture of her at that moment. But it is not enough to comfort me during her absence.
3. The Way She Makes Me Feel Inside - When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary. When troubles come, and my heart burdened be. Then I am still, and sit there in the silence, until she comes, and sits a while with me. You see, she raises me up, so that I can walk on mountains. She raises me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, only when I am on her shoulders. She raises me up, to more than I can be. She doesn't know this, but this song was actually written for her. Yet it's lyrics do not capture the essence of her essence.
2. Her Elegance - She certainly deserves the "Lady" that is in her name. She is like a fawn of the meadows. She is like a dragon, flying in a summer breeze. She never wears anything less fancy than her best evening gown, and her hair is always perfect. Lady B eats her dessert with the proper fork, and stirs her coffee with the proper spoon. She knows how to discuss political issues of the day in any of the 5 major world languages. She doesn't know this, but I am learning all these languages, so I can come up with more ways to express myself to her. I'm also inventing my own language, that only she and I will share. But I've learned that words cannot convey my feelings.
1. Her Love - Lady B has no spite in her. She does not waste time holding grudges. Many have tried to enrage her for the sake of pure science, but it is impossible. No matter what you do to her, she will overlook it for a greater purpose. This quality of hers, although far from me now, eases my heart. Her love is good enough.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Top 6 Wedding Moments I've Had
6) Terrible Songs- I dont know why every middle age woman who can play D G A on guitar decides they must perform at a wedding. At a wedding on the weekend a lady played while the couple was signing the registery. She proceeds to drop her mike, forget the words, and nearly crys in a train wreck attempt to perform. I wish someone would gently tell her maybe its not her time. The killer was she peforms again at the reception and proceeds to sing a depressing song about how the bride almost died at birth. Like I said, a train wreck.
5) The Casual Approach- While working at Homewood in the summer of 2007 I was invited to a wedding at the nd of summer. I really had no nice clothes to wear. I proceeded to wear shorts and a $12 button shirt from Old Navy. The groom loved me for it and I think the bride was ok, however, the brides mother was less than impressed. I could see in the receving line up that she judged me before I met her because of my questianble wedding attire. I later came to the conclusion that she is scary crazy.
4) The Wedding Road Trip_ Last summer going to Calgary was probably one of the biggest gong shows. We drove through the night in a '87 Volvo to Calgary and it was a grind. While in the other car there was a couple who came but were broken up. They wanted to keep up the appearance of being together so it made the whole weekend a little uncomfortable. While in Calgary I got a ticket for riding the C train without a ticket and the wedding just brought on more shenigens. Perhaps the most memorable thing I saw was my friend drinking from 2 wine bottles at once and that pretty much summed up the gong show weekend. However, it was fun none the less.
3) Being Late for Weddings- The wedding on the weekend I was at my friend and I thought it started at 330 when it really started at 3. As we walk in at 315 we figure we have lots of time but in reality were already late. We run past the groom and his groomsmen and wish them good lucl as the brides mon yells at us to get to our seats. Everything worked out and we werent the latest people there either.
2) CLA Weddings- Nothing is more classic than a CLA wedding. The classic ceremony in the ugly former orange pews of the sanctuary and then a stand up reception in the gym with finger food. What more is there to say other than the fact I cant imagine a place more unatrractive for a wedding. Im sorry, it had to be said.
1) The Quotes- Weddings bring about some of the greatest lines said. For instance telling the best man at the wedding that women and homosexuals drink wine with non-alcholic punch in them. Perhaps the greatest quote Ive ever heard was from a good friend of mine. While watching a slide show at a wedding and listening to the music people were emotional. I asked my friend if she was crying. She responded by saying, "We're not crying cause were sad, we're crying because were single." Pure Gold.
5) The Casual Approach- While working at Homewood in the summer of 2007 I was invited to a wedding at the nd of summer. I really had no nice clothes to wear. I proceeded to wear shorts and a $12 button shirt from Old Navy. The groom loved me for it and I think the bride was ok, however, the brides mother was less than impressed. I could see in the receving line up that she judged me before I met her because of my questianble wedding attire. I later came to the conclusion that she is scary crazy.
4) The Wedding Road Trip_ Last summer going to Calgary was probably one of the biggest gong shows. We drove through the night in a '87 Volvo to Calgary and it was a grind. While in the other car there was a couple who came but were broken up. They wanted to keep up the appearance of being together so it made the whole weekend a little uncomfortable. While in Calgary I got a ticket for riding the C train without a ticket and the wedding just brought on more shenigens. Perhaps the most memorable thing I saw was my friend drinking from 2 wine bottles at once and that pretty much summed up the gong show weekend. However, it was fun none the less.
3) Being Late for Weddings- The wedding on the weekend I was at my friend and I thought it started at 330 when it really started at 3. As we walk in at 315 we figure we have lots of time but in reality were already late. We run past the groom and his groomsmen and wish them good lucl as the brides mon yells at us to get to our seats. Everything worked out and we werent the latest people there either.
2) CLA Weddings- Nothing is more classic than a CLA wedding. The classic ceremony in the ugly former orange pews of the sanctuary and then a stand up reception in the gym with finger food. What more is there to say other than the fact I cant imagine a place more unatrractive for a wedding. Im sorry, it had to be said.
1) The Quotes- Weddings bring about some of the greatest lines said. For instance telling the best man at the wedding that women and homosexuals drink wine with non-alcholic punch in them. Perhaps the greatest quote Ive ever heard was from a good friend of mine. While watching a slide show at a wedding and listening to the music people were emotional. I asked my friend if she was crying. She responded by saying, "We're not crying cause were sad, we're crying because were single." Pure Gold.
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