I’ve come up with quite a few ideas for blog entries but this is the one that is winning right now. If you haven’t read the post before this by Finneas you a) should and b) won’t know that I am away working at a summer camp in Western Washington. Last week was our first week with Junior Campers and I think they are officially my favorite age group (you can expect future entries on the Top 6 Thing I Love About Junior High Campers and then High School Campers). Junior Campers are grades 3-6.
6) They’re so little. Every single one of them is cute. They run around just being their little selves and it’s adorable.
5) They say hilarious things. One camper last week wrote a story during free time one day. She read it to me and I kept the paper she wrote it on. The first line is "A puppy walking down the road grabbed by a bloody hand...". Creepy? Yes. Hilarious? Obviously.
4) They think you’re great no matter how cool you actually are. There was a camper here to was in my cabin last summer and she was convinced that if she told me she was homesick I would let her go home. Not in my power at all. But we spent a lot of time together and she just really liked me. We didn't do anything amazingly cool but we painted pictures for her counselors and we ran around picking up dodgeballs for the people who were playing dodgeball. Apparently this makes me cool.
3) They are really easily amused. One day last week I played with a couple girls for half an hour. What did we play? How many times can we throw this ball to each other without dropping it? The record was 40.
2) They hug me. I told the counselors that I like it when campers cry because then they hug me. I really like hugs.
1) They wear the same clothes all week. My personal favorite from last week was Beth who wore a blue flannel onesie all week...seriously...every single day. Socks and flip flops were also a part of the getup I believe...
I think I might have to write more about Junior Campers because I really love them. But I'll save it for another week. Maybe Top Six Junior Camper Quotes or something.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Top 6 Things I Miss About Lady B
Lady B has up and gone away for the rest of the season, and I am much distraught. I knew the summer would be hard without her, but I never thought that even the past few weeks would be as hard as they have already been. This is a tribute to her, and all she does to enrich my life.
6. Her hair - Many poems have been written about women's hair, but none would be able to capture the beauty of Lady B's brunette locks. They are strong, like a douglas fir, yet soft and gentle like a supple field mouse. Her hair carries the scent of everything that is beautiful in the world. She doesn't know this, but I stole a lock of her hair before she left. But it is not enough.
5. Her smile - Some people say that snow is pure. Others claim it about a perfect oyster. Those fools have not seen the brilliance of Lady B's smile. This purity is both literal and metaphorical - she keeps her teeth and her innocence of spirit, which is displayed in her smile, equally clean. When I see her smile, I feel as if the whole world is smiling. Maybe that's because she is my world. She doesn't know this, but I stole her baby teeth. But they are not enough.
4. The Way She Lights Up A Room - I was once in a dark room, full of hurt, despair and anguish. Surrounding me were folks who had been through the worst, seen great loss and felt unbelievable hardship. Then Lady B walked into the room, and that all was forgotten. The cavalcade of sufferers and myself started to leap about with glee. The cries of sorrow turned to cries of ecstasy, for we did not know what we had done to deserve such a wonderful privilege. She doesn't know this, but I stole a picture of her at that moment. But it is not enough to comfort me during her absence.
3. The Way She Makes Me Feel Inside - When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary. When troubles come, and my heart burdened be. Then I am still, and sit there in the silence, until she comes, and sits a while with me. You see, she raises me up, so that I can walk on mountains. She raises me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, only when I am on her shoulders. She raises me up, to more than I can be. She doesn't know this, but this song was actually written for her. Yet it's lyrics do not capture the essence of her essence.
2. Her Elegance - She certainly deserves the "Lady" that is in her name. She is like a fawn of the meadows. She is like a dragon, flying in a summer breeze. She never wears anything less fancy than her best evening gown, and her hair is always perfect. Lady B eats her dessert with the proper fork, and stirs her coffee with the proper spoon. She knows how to discuss political issues of the day in any of the 5 major world languages. She doesn't know this, but I am learning all these languages, so I can come up with more ways to express myself to her. I'm also inventing my own language, that only she and I will share. But I've learned that words cannot convey my feelings.
1. Her Love - Lady B has no spite in her. She does not waste time holding grudges. Many have tried to enrage her for the sake of pure science, but it is impossible. No matter what you do to her, she will overlook it for a greater purpose. This quality of hers, although far from me now, eases my heart. Her love is good enough.
6. Her hair - Many poems have been written about women's hair, but none would be able to capture the beauty of Lady B's brunette locks. They are strong, like a douglas fir, yet soft and gentle like a supple field mouse. Her hair carries the scent of everything that is beautiful in the world. She doesn't know this, but I stole a lock of her hair before she left. But it is not enough.
5. Her smile - Some people say that snow is pure. Others claim it about a perfect oyster. Those fools have not seen the brilliance of Lady B's smile. This purity is both literal and metaphorical - she keeps her teeth and her innocence of spirit, which is displayed in her smile, equally clean. When I see her smile, I feel as if the whole world is smiling. Maybe that's because she is my world. She doesn't know this, but I stole her baby teeth. But they are not enough.
4. The Way She Lights Up A Room - I was once in a dark room, full of hurt, despair and anguish. Surrounding me were folks who had been through the worst, seen great loss and felt unbelievable hardship. Then Lady B walked into the room, and that all was forgotten. The cavalcade of sufferers and myself started to leap about with glee. The cries of sorrow turned to cries of ecstasy, for we did not know what we had done to deserve such a wonderful privilege. She doesn't know this, but I stole a picture of her at that moment. But it is not enough to comfort me during her absence.
3. The Way She Makes Me Feel Inside - When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary. When troubles come, and my heart burdened be. Then I am still, and sit there in the silence, until she comes, and sits a while with me. You see, she raises me up, so that I can walk on mountains. She raises me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, only when I am on her shoulders. She raises me up, to more than I can be. She doesn't know this, but this song was actually written for her. Yet it's lyrics do not capture the essence of her essence.
2. Her Elegance - She certainly deserves the "Lady" that is in her name. She is like a fawn of the meadows. She is like a dragon, flying in a summer breeze. She never wears anything less fancy than her best evening gown, and her hair is always perfect. Lady B eats her dessert with the proper fork, and stirs her coffee with the proper spoon. She knows how to discuss political issues of the day in any of the 5 major world languages. She doesn't know this, but I am learning all these languages, so I can come up with more ways to express myself to her. I'm also inventing my own language, that only she and I will share. But I've learned that words cannot convey my feelings.
1. Her Love - Lady B has no spite in her. She does not waste time holding grudges. Many have tried to enrage her for the sake of pure science, but it is impossible. No matter what you do to her, she will overlook it for a greater purpose. This quality of hers, although far from me now, eases my heart. Her love is good enough.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Top 6 Wedding Moments I've Had
6) Terrible Songs- I dont know why every middle age woman who can play D G A on guitar decides they must perform at a wedding. At a wedding on the weekend a lady played while the couple was signing the registery. She proceeds to drop her mike, forget the words, and nearly crys in a train wreck attempt to perform. I wish someone would gently tell her maybe its not her time. The killer was she peforms again at the reception and proceeds to sing a depressing song about how the bride almost died at birth. Like I said, a train wreck.
5) The Casual Approach- While working at Homewood in the summer of 2007 I was invited to a wedding at the nd of summer. I really had no nice clothes to wear. I proceeded to wear shorts and a $12 button shirt from Old Navy. The groom loved me for it and I think the bride was ok, however, the brides mother was less than impressed. I could see in the receving line up that she judged me before I met her because of my questianble wedding attire. I later came to the conclusion that she is scary crazy.
4) The Wedding Road Trip_ Last summer going to Calgary was probably one of the biggest gong shows. We drove through the night in a '87 Volvo to Calgary and it was a grind. While in the other car there was a couple who came but were broken up. They wanted to keep up the appearance of being together so it made the whole weekend a little uncomfortable. While in Calgary I got a ticket for riding the C train without a ticket and the wedding just brought on more shenigens. Perhaps the most memorable thing I saw was my friend drinking from 2 wine bottles at once and that pretty much summed up the gong show weekend. However, it was fun none the less.
3) Being Late for Weddings- The wedding on the weekend I was at my friend and I thought it started at 330 when it really started at 3. As we walk in at 315 we figure we have lots of time but in reality were already late. We run past the groom and his groomsmen and wish them good lucl as the brides mon yells at us to get to our seats. Everything worked out and we werent the latest people there either.
2) CLA Weddings- Nothing is more classic than a CLA wedding. The classic ceremony in the ugly former orange pews of the sanctuary and then a stand up reception in the gym with finger food. What more is there to say other than the fact I cant imagine a place more unatrractive for a wedding. Im sorry, it had to be said.
1) The Quotes- Weddings bring about some of the greatest lines said. For instance telling the best man at the wedding that women and homosexuals drink wine with non-alcholic punch in them. Perhaps the greatest quote Ive ever heard was from a good friend of mine. While watching a slide show at a wedding and listening to the music people were emotional. I asked my friend if she was crying. She responded by saying, "We're not crying cause were sad, we're crying because were single." Pure Gold.
5) The Casual Approach- While working at Homewood in the summer of 2007 I was invited to a wedding at the nd of summer. I really had no nice clothes to wear. I proceeded to wear shorts and a $12 button shirt from Old Navy. The groom loved me for it and I think the bride was ok, however, the brides mother was less than impressed. I could see in the receving line up that she judged me before I met her because of my questianble wedding attire. I later came to the conclusion that she is scary crazy.
4) The Wedding Road Trip_ Last summer going to Calgary was probably one of the biggest gong shows. We drove through the night in a '87 Volvo to Calgary and it was a grind. While in the other car there was a couple who came but were broken up. They wanted to keep up the appearance of being together so it made the whole weekend a little uncomfortable. While in Calgary I got a ticket for riding the C train without a ticket and the wedding just brought on more shenigens. Perhaps the most memorable thing I saw was my friend drinking from 2 wine bottles at once and that pretty much summed up the gong show weekend. However, it was fun none the less.
3) Being Late for Weddings- The wedding on the weekend I was at my friend and I thought it started at 330 when it really started at 3. As we walk in at 315 we figure we have lots of time but in reality were already late. We run past the groom and his groomsmen and wish them good lucl as the brides mon yells at us to get to our seats. Everything worked out and we werent the latest people there either.
2) CLA Weddings- Nothing is more classic than a CLA wedding. The classic ceremony in the ugly former orange pews of the sanctuary and then a stand up reception in the gym with finger food. What more is there to say other than the fact I cant imagine a place more unatrractive for a wedding. Im sorry, it had to be said.
1) The Quotes- Weddings bring about some of the greatest lines said. For instance telling the best man at the wedding that women and homosexuals drink wine with non-alcholic punch in them. Perhaps the greatest quote Ive ever heard was from a good friend of mine. While watching a slide show at a wedding and listening to the music people were emotional. I asked my friend if she was crying. She responded by saying, "We're not crying cause were sad, we're crying because were single." Pure Gold.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Top Six Dumb Things Boys Have Said To Me
I haven’t had good luck with guys. There were a few years there where the only guys who liked me were…well, guys that Jesus loves but I wasn’t all that in to. Here are a few experiences that I have grown to appreciate.
6. The Pizza Order – Once when I was working at a pizza place a guy came in to place a take out order. He said to me, “I’d like a large pepperoni pizza and your phone number. Please”. I didn’t give him my phone number.
5. The Grad Date – When I was in Grade 12 this guy asked me to grad. I didn’t really know what to say, honestly I didn’t want to go with him, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go with anyone. After I told him that I didn’t know what to say he said “Don’t worry, you can take the weekend to think about it, I just didn’t want you to have to go alone”. Thanks.
4. The Dutch Treat – this one didn’t happen to me, it happened to my sister, but I thought it was worth mentioning. My dear sister Jess went out for sushi with a guy once. When he got to the restaurant he said to her, “I just spent my last $7 on gas, so you’re going to have to get this one”. I understand that gas is expensive, but if you’re going out and you need gas maybe you can borrow a few dollars from a friend? I don’t know, just a thought.
3. The One I Don’t Have a Title For – I went to high school with this guy who didn’t like me. I really liked him but I guess I just ticked him off. Our first year out of high school we both did this one year program at Summit Pacific College. We went on a retreat the first weekend and I figured we should figure out our relationship before the year went horribly wrong. I told him that I didn’t care if he liked me as long as he treated me with respect. His answer? “I really want to like you, I just can’t do it”! We talked about this conversation a few months ago – he’s blocked it from his memory and asked me to forgive him. I said yes.
2. The First Time I Was Asked Out – this is a good one. It happened over MSN. It was two weeks before my 16th birthday and I was talking to a boy who was a grade younger than me from school. He told me he wanted to go out with me and I said no ( I said it nicer than just “no” but it would take up too much room to write it all out) he asked me to give him one good reason why I wouldn’t go out with him and I gave him three. 1) I’m older than you, 2) I barely even know you and 3) I don’t have feelings for you. He replied with, You’re not that much older than me, you probably know me better than anyone I know and we can work on that last one. When he persisted I told him that he’d have to ask my parents’ permission before I said yes, ‘Okay, but just to warn you, parents love me’. The next day at school he asked me if I would say yes if my parents said yes, I told him no and that was finally the end of it.
1. The Pizza Delivery Guy – This is the story you all have been waiting for. I worked at a pizza place for 4 years. For part of that time I worked with a guy, let’s call him Jimmy. Jimmy was about 30 years old and he delivered pizza. He started asking me a lot about the Bible and Jesus and all that good stuff and I was excited to share. Then one day he came in to work and told me he had a present for me. He handed me a box and told me not to open it until I got home. Luckily my boss sent me to the store to pick up some lettuce and I took my purse along. On the way I opened the box and a ring dropped out. It was a sparkly mood ring that said ‘I (heart) you’ on it. There was also a letter inside. ‘Dearest Angel…” I stuffed the box back into my purse, bought the lettuce, went back to work and promptly told my boss I wasn’t feeling well. I began the walk home, reading the letter. I don’t remember it word for word but here is a pretty good paraphrase of some of the best parts.
“Dearest Angel,
From the moment I saw you I loved you. When I saw your penmanship I fell even deeper in love…If you were to love me back I would be the luckiest man on earth. We are like two ducks floating on a lotus pond, or two dragons floating in the summer breeze, that is what I dream for us…”
There was more but I don’t remember it. The best part was he signed it with his email address and phone number and the post statement said, “Do Not (not was underlined three times) tell anyone about this”. No kidding don’t tell anyone about the 30 year old proclaiming his love for his 17 year old co-worker!
6. The Pizza Order – Once when I was working at a pizza place a guy came in to place a take out order. He said to me, “I’d like a large pepperoni pizza and your phone number. Please”. I didn’t give him my phone number.
5. The Grad Date – When I was in Grade 12 this guy asked me to grad. I didn’t really know what to say, honestly I didn’t want to go with him, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go with anyone. After I told him that I didn’t know what to say he said “Don’t worry, you can take the weekend to think about it, I just didn’t want you to have to go alone”. Thanks.
4. The Dutch Treat – this one didn’t happen to me, it happened to my sister, but I thought it was worth mentioning. My dear sister Jess went out for sushi with a guy once. When he got to the restaurant he said to her, “I just spent my last $7 on gas, so you’re going to have to get this one”. I understand that gas is expensive, but if you’re going out and you need gas maybe you can borrow a few dollars from a friend? I don’t know, just a thought.
3. The One I Don’t Have a Title For – I went to high school with this guy who didn’t like me. I really liked him but I guess I just ticked him off. Our first year out of high school we both did this one year program at Summit Pacific College. We went on a retreat the first weekend and I figured we should figure out our relationship before the year went horribly wrong. I told him that I didn’t care if he liked me as long as he treated me with respect. His answer? “I really want to like you, I just can’t do it”! We talked about this conversation a few months ago – he’s blocked it from his memory and asked me to forgive him. I said yes.
2. The First Time I Was Asked Out – this is a good one. It happened over MSN. It was two weeks before my 16th birthday and I was talking to a boy who was a grade younger than me from school. He told me he wanted to go out with me and I said no ( I said it nicer than just “no” but it would take up too much room to write it all out) he asked me to give him one good reason why I wouldn’t go out with him and I gave him three. 1) I’m older than you, 2) I barely even know you and 3) I don’t have feelings for you. He replied with, You’re not that much older than me, you probably know me better than anyone I know and we can work on that last one. When he persisted I told him that he’d have to ask my parents’ permission before I said yes, ‘Okay, but just to warn you, parents love me’. The next day at school he asked me if I would say yes if my parents said yes, I told him no and that was finally the end of it.
1. The Pizza Delivery Guy – This is the story you all have been waiting for. I worked at a pizza place for 4 years. For part of that time I worked with a guy, let’s call him Jimmy. Jimmy was about 30 years old and he delivered pizza. He started asking me a lot about the Bible and Jesus and all that good stuff and I was excited to share. Then one day he came in to work and told me he had a present for me. He handed me a box and told me not to open it until I got home. Luckily my boss sent me to the store to pick up some lettuce and I took my purse along. On the way I opened the box and a ring dropped out. It was a sparkly mood ring that said ‘I (heart) you’ on it. There was also a letter inside. ‘Dearest Angel…” I stuffed the box back into my purse, bought the lettuce, went back to work and promptly told my boss I wasn’t feeling well. I began the walk home, reading the letter. I don’t remember it word for word but here is a pretty good paraphrase of some of the best parts.
“Dearest Angel,
From the moment I saw you I loved you. When I saw your penmanship I fell even deeper in love…If you were to love me back I would be the luckiest man on earth. We are like two ducks floating on a lotus pond, or two dragons floating in the summer breeze, that is what I dream for us…”
There was more but I don’t remember it. The best part was he signed it with his email address and phone number and the post statement said, “Do Not (not was underlined three times) tell anyone about this”. No kidding don’t tell anyone about the 30 year old proclaiming his love for his 17 year old co-worker!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Top 6 Debunked Lies That Cartoons Taught Me
6. Cataclysms don't precede a moment of digestion. If something major happens, like a large explosion or a revelation of one's own origin, you do not get a two-minute commercial to let it settle. And for the really big ones, the words "To Be Continued..." don't appear at the bottom of the screen, giving you a week's recluse from the problem.
5. Living with your friends and having crazy adventures is not as fun as it sounds. Most of the time, the only enemy you want to fight once your friends move in are the friends themselves. And not in the "you-pretended-to-be-my-friend-but-secretly-were-the-enemy-all-along-man-what-a-great-plot-twist" sort of way. Just the really annoying way.
4. Animals don't talk.
3. You can't hide your identity just by wearing a mask around your eyes. You most likely have to have something that covers your entire face. Probably your hair too.
2. If you accidentally run off a cliff, you can't maintain anti-gravity just by not looking down.
1. If you really want something but you just can't get it, don't keep trying. Let it go, man. Let it go.
5. Living with your friends and having crazy adventures is not as fun as it sounds. Most of the time, the only enemy you want to fight once your friends move in are the friends themselves. And not in the "you-pretended-to-be-my-friend-but-secretly-were-the-enemy-all-along-man-what-a-great-plot-twist" sort of way. Just the really annoying way.
4. Animals don't talk.
3. You can't hide your identity just by wearing a mask around your eyes. You most likely have to have something that covers your entire face. Probably your hair too.
2. If you accidentally run off a cliff, you can't maintain anti-gravity just by not looking down.
1. If you really want something but you just can't get it, don't keep trying. Let it go, man. Let it go.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Top 6 Songs from my New Employment Album
So here are the top 6 most anticipated songs from my new album of covers tune about working called "Nurseryland or CT and Everything in Between"
6) Card Denied- Cover of Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch
5) Clearance- Cover of Changes by David Bowie
4) Workers in Langley- Cover of Lovers in Japan by Coldplay
3) A Homewood Fairytale- Cover of A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers
2) Stock it Like it's Hot- Cover of Drop it Like it's Hot by Snoop Dog
1) Out of My Way (I Don't Want to Pay)- Cover of Light My Way (Ultraviolet) by U2
6) Card Denied- Cover of Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch
5) Clearance- Cover of Changes by David Bowie
4) Workers in Langley- Cover of Lovers in Japan by Coldplay
3) A Homewood Fairytale- Cover of A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers
2) Stock it Like it's Hot- Cover of Drop it Like it's Hot by Snoop Dog
1) Out of My Way (I Don't Want to Pay)- Cover of Light My Way (Ultraviolet) by U2
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Top Six Things That Creep Me Out
Something that should be known is I have a lot of quirky things about me. There are things that really creep me out and maybe some of them are dumb, but here we go.
6) When People Chew Loudly – It’s just gross. It really bothers me. Seriously, learn to chew with your mouth closed. Enough said.
5) The Bottom of the Ocean – Not that bad, but I do not like the feeling of all the gross crud at the bottom of the ocean or the lake. Sand is fine, rocks are fine, weeds are not. Maybe I’m just afraid of the fish or that there’s going to be something that cuts me. I don’t like it.
4) Animals – They are just really creepy! You never know what they are thinking and they don’t know any words so how can they even think at all? AND you never know what they are going to do. I don’t know, they’re creepy!
3) Milk – Okay, I like milk products. I love ice cream and I love cheese and milk and all that good stuff. But seriously, milk products are creepy; especially when they come from other people’s fridges. One time my friend Miguel took a Fruit Loop out of my cereal bowl and I almost refused to eat the rest of it. I don’t have an explanation for it. The worst thing would be sharing a spoon when you’re eating ice cream or yoghurt (especially yoghurt!). I’m really fine sharing food but ice cream and yoghurt are a no go…and apples, that’s weird too.
2) Rodents – Sort of like the first one…but seriously, ew. Rodents are gross. They eat disgusting things and live in places you don’t want them to live. And what the heck is with the surprise of them. You never really expect to find a mouse, it’s always a surprise and you’re like “Holy Crap, there’s a mouse!” Last summer I was sleeping in my cabin (at camp) and in the middle of the night my friend started freaking out and there was a mouse IN MY BED. NOT COOL. We ended up sleeping in her car for the rest of the night.
1) Farm Animals – These are on a whole other level from regular animals. There is something about farm animals that make my skin crawl. They are smelly and dirty and sometimes you eat them. It is SO weird to me to think of meat. I like eating meat but I just can’t think about what it really is. Farm Animals are the worst out of any other types of animals.
6) When People Chew Loudly – It’s just gross. It really bothers me. Seriously, learn to chew with your mouth closed. Enough said.
5) The Bottom of the Ocean – Not that bad, but I do not like the feeling of all the gross crud at the bottom of the ocean or the lake. Sand is fine, rocks are fine, weeds are not. Maybe I’m just afraid of the fish or that there’s going to be something that cuts me. I don’t like it.
4) Animals – They are just really creepy! You never know what they are thinking and they don’t know any words so how can they even think at all? AND you never know what they are going to do. I don’t know, they’re creepy!
3) Milk – Okay, I like milk products. I love ice cream and I love cheese and milk and all that good stuff. But seriously, milk products are creepy; especially when they come from other people’s fridges. One time my friend Miguel took a Fruit Loop out of my cereal bowl and I almost refused to eat the rest of it. I don’t have an explanation for it. The worst thing would be sharing a spoon when you’re eating ice cream or yoghurt (especially yoghurt!). I’m really fine sharing food but ice cream and yoghurt are a no go…and apples, that’s weird too.
2) Rodents – Sort of like the first one…but seriously, ew. Rodents are gross. They eat disgusting things and live in places you don’t want them to live. And what the heck is with the surprise of them. You never really expect to find a mouse, it’s always a surprise and you’re like “Holy Crap, there’s a mouse!” Last summer I was sleeping in my cabin (at camp) and in the middle of the night my friend started freaking out and there was a mouse IN MY BED. NOT COOL. We ended up sleeping in her car for the rest of the night.
1) Farm Animals – These are on a whole other level from regular animals. There is something about farm animals that make my skin crawl. They are smelly and dirty and sometimes you eat them. It is SO weird to me to think of meat. I like eating meat but I just can’t think about what it really is. Farm Animals are the worst out of any other types of animals.
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