Stop Six Records

Top Six Valentine's Day Memories

2011-02-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

6. Unknown year - When Jess and I both got the same Kelly Clarkson CD.

5. Another Unknown Year- When I cut/coloured my hair in the same style as Martina McBride and then went to a hockey game of some boys from school (I think it was some of the guys from Joseph/Fiddler) and someone told me I looked like her. Always a good day when someone says you look like your favourite singer.

4. 2010 - When Danielle and I went to Save-On Foods and got free leftover chocolate. Delish!

3. 2007 - When Chelsea (I think it was Chelsea) thought way ahead and brought Valentine's Day decorations to Uganda and decorated our kitchen before anyone was awake. So special!

2. 2004 (?) - When all the flowers had been handed out (from the school fundraiser) I heard someone say my name in the hallway. My heart started racing, I was so excited! They brought a beautiful bouquet in and I opened the card. Someone asked who they were from and I blushed and said, "My Mom". Ridiculously embarrassing for a 14 year old, wonderfully lovely to a 22 year old.

1. 2011 - When I walked to the store and bought myself flowers, chocolate and a magazine with The Bachelor - Brad Womack on the cover and decided that for this year I will remember what it means to love myself and to love who I was created to be! This will include, reading the magazine, eating the chocolate, smelling the flowers and most likely painting or doing something crafty.

Happy Valentine's Day! Hope it's full of LOVE!!!

Top Six Things To Remember Tomorrow

2010-11-09T22:12:00.000-08:00

Can you guess what big day it is for Lady B?

6. Drive the speed limit

5. Shoulder check

4. Check my mirrors every 5 to 8 seconds

3. Use my blinker

2. Don't hit anyone/anything

1. Don't throw up

Top Six Things I Hope I Won't Do When I'm A Parent

2010-10-23T12:37:00.000-07:00

6. Make My Entire Family Wear Matching Clothes - When I was growing up there was a family at our church who did this. Mom, Dad, Kids, everyone. All the same pattern, material, everything.

5. Let My 4-Year-Old Son Wear Justin Bieber T-Shirts - Yes I saw this recently.

4. Let My Kids Have Cell Phones Before They Can Afford To Pay For Them - I'm sorry but children do not need to text. Children do not need cell phones.

3. Pull My Child By The Ear - In researching this post I asked my mother what is something I shouldn't do when I have children and she demonstrated this act of frustration. It hurts.

2. Watch The Wiggles - Most children's shows are a little strange and annoying and don't make much sense and get stuck in your head in the worst way. But from what I have seen of the Wiggles, they are the worst. No Wiggles in my house thank you.

1. Nurse A Baby In A Movie Theatre - Inspiration for this post. I was on a date the other night and we were a little shocked why we a) saw that the couple in front of use had a baby with them (which could be kind of annoying and disruptive and why would you bring a baby in the first place?) a b) realized that right at the dramatic climax of the movies the woman began to NURSE her baby. Needless to say, I covered my face with my sweater and pretended to be moved to tears by Katherin Heigl's performance.

Top 6 Things to get Back After a Break Up

2010-10-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

Inspired by a conversation with Dan

6) Your Black T-shirt- After the silence, the what ifs, the what could have been stage, you realize that you left an important piece of clothing at their house, your balck t-shirt. This versatile piece of clothing fits any occasion, relaxing, funeraling, you name it. It's also easy to forget and is nessecary to have. Sure, you could buy another one, but you want yours back. Also ben Folds sings about it....

5) Your Gameboy- At some point during the relationship, you probably let them play with your Nintendo DS, no doubt Mario Cart or a game of that nature. As a token of trust and goodwill, you let them keep playing after they begged you to keep it for a few days, which turned into a few months as they attempted to defeat Bowser. Sure, it was a great common interest, but now your broken up you have a lot more time on your hands, which can be filled with a Gameboy, and maybe tears.

4) Kitchenware- The making and preparing of food is a great couples activity, as long as there are no attempted poisionings when things go South. There is no doubt you brought some sort of tupperware or kitchen item with food in it being the ideal romantic type. That time is over, you now need something to keep your left over pizza in. I bet you wish you had that tupperware container instead of it being locked up in the Fortress of Solitude.

3) Your Couples Improvement Books- If your a guy, please tell me you don't have any of these to pick up, if you do, I guess you guys didnt study it hard enough. Important Note: While picking it up, don't say something like, "I need it for my next relationship" or, "I guess we won't be needing this anymore," have some class.

2) Your TV on DVD Series- Every couple has this. its an excuse to be close to each other. Whether it's a drama like th O.C., a terrible show like Prison break, or a decent show like The Office, it is vital to get this item back. Nothing says I've moved on like like taking this nifty box set back and watching it by yourself or with someone else. By the way, you can't wacth the same series in your next relationship, be a little bit creative, it could also get sort of weird. apparently the brain associates memories to images. If all you can think of is the time you spilt coffee on yourself with your former Lover, probably not a good idea to wacth it with your current Lover. I could see things going badly by starting to say, "Remeber that time we watched this episode and I......"

1) Your Dignity- I think you left it in that box over there by the twenty post break up love letters you sent....

PS

Ben Folds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVk_e31dnlE

Viewer discretion might be advised.

Top Six Things You Don't Want to Hear at Thanksgiving Dinner

2010-10-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

6. Careful, the cat licked that

5. Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?

4. Mom, I think the stove is broken (inspiration for this post - we are currently cooking dinner at our neighbor's house)

3. The expiry date on the turkey was a few days ago...but I probably cooked out all the mold

2. The stuffing is gluten free!

1. There are so many calories in the dinner, I decided not to make dessert.

Top Six Things To Do When You Live Alone

2010-09-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

I am living in an apartment at camp until the end of September and my roomate has left me for a few days. Here are a few things I may or may not have done during my hours of by-myself-living.

6. Turn on whatever music you want (Glee soundtrack) and belt it as loud as you can.

5. Pretend you are the lead singer (Rachel Berry) and perform the afore mentioned song for your imaginary audience. No need to pretend they are in their underwear, when they come from your imagination your audience always adores you.

4. Sleep with the light on. This is not a suggestion for fun, in my case is was because I was afraid of the rats in my ceiling. For you it may be for safety reasons or because your house is messy and you don't want to trip if you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. If you are able to sleep with the light on you could just do it for the heck of it because it won't be keeping anyone else awake.

3. Eat ice cream for dinner.

2. Eat ice cream for dinner...in your bed

1. Buy a pet fish. I haven't actually done this yet, I will tomorrow. Her name will be Rachel Berry. I might buy two...I need suggestions for another name. This suggestion is to ward off any loneliness that you might face. Sometimes fish actually have some personality (RIP Gilgamesh's Mouth) and they are pretty easy to keep. They also only cost 13 cents at Pet Smart.

Top Six Things I Wish I Could Eat

2010-06-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the fateful day. I remember thinking that the drugs weren't working, that I didn't feel drowsy at all. The next thing I know I was blinking in a bed, looking out over Surrey, wondering where my shoes had gone and feeling great concern over the fact that Michael Jackson was dead. My face hurt and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't close my mouth (thank you gauze). I may be four teeth less wise and I've watched seven movies in the last 24 hours but the thing that is bothering me the most is the ridiculous cravings I've been having for things I may not be able to eat for a couple of weeks!

6. Kraft Dinner

5. Pizza...really gross greasy pizza, like you always see on TV when people from New York are eating pizza

4. Teryaki Chicken Burger from Red Robin (and Fries)

3. One of the Gluten Free Banana Chocolate Chunk cookies that my mom's client brought to me Tuesday evening. Giant, delicious, won't make me sick cookies.

2. Cheese Bread

1. The BC Burger from White Spot. I want this the most.

For now I'm sticking with chicken broth and pudding, gatorade and apple juice. And let's not forget the T-3's. The glorious T-3's.

Top 6 Worst Courses I've Ever Taken

2010-05-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

6. 2nd Year Biochemistry: Cell Biology
I really thought this class was good, until I got my final mark. I was just over half a percent from being in my minimum letter grade range. It may sound silly, but try losing the 100m in the Olympics by less than a second. I've done that too - it's better than being half a percent off.

5. 1st Year Economics: Macroeconomics
No matter how hard I tried, I just didn't work out with me. So much for that business degree.

4. Youth Communication
This is another course from another degree I never finished. I must say that this one had the 2nd worst final exam I've written in my entire life(the worst is described further down). It had a major essay question worth 25 marks, as well as a short answer question that was worth the same amount. I didn't understand that sort of weighting, and I don't think my prof did either.

3. 2nd Year Organic Chemistry Lab
It wasn't the lab that was bad. I seem to do quite well in lab-based courses, but not this one. I still believe that the way some stuff went down was outside the realm of proper justice.

2. 1st Year English: Introduction to Literature and Issues in Culture
Contrary to your expectations of this class from the title, it was anything but interesting. The class really wasn't about issues in culture, it was about a single issue in culture - globalization. Instead of looking at the interesting aspects of globalization, the prof preferred to interpret it as a chance to saturate us with anti-corporationist media. Don't get me wrong - I hate The Man just as much as anyone. But my hatred of The Man is pure, unlike the prof's poorly-veiled attempts at being original. The only thing that is as bad as The Man is the trendy hatred of The Man, which is really another form of The Man, known as The Man 2.0. I hate The Man and The Man 2.0 in the same way that I hated this class.
One final note: the reading list for this class was equally painful. It included the typical horrible Canadian literature about some fish girl, and a Chinese book about a love-affair between a Chinese woman and a German businessman. Get it? The intertwining of their bodies was a metaphor for globalization. Real clever. Sex has never been used as a metaphor before. Also, the book was apparently banned in China, which probably made my prof feel more edgy. He loved feeling that way.

1. 3rd Year Biology: Invertebrate Biology
Even the globalization debacle was not as bad as this mistake. For those of you who don't know, an invertebrate is something that doesn't have a spinal cord. I'm the sort of biology major who prefers dogs to slugs (ie. a normal human being) so this course wasn't really my bag from the get-go. But, I needed to fill some credit slot, so alas, I signed up.
I was quite distraught to find out, once I was already in the course, that I would have to go on a field-trip that would steal my entire weekend. It was the worst field-trip of my life. We got to spend four hours just getting there. We got to go on boats in the rain and catch plankton. We got to spend our evenings looking at anemones on a beach. We got to sleep in a dorm with other people from our class we didn't know, and be kept up till 3 a.m. every night by those who didn't relish our own love for sleep. And that was just one weekend.
The lectures were overly detailed, and finding structure was also a challenge. I ended up relistening to each lecture and taking verbatim notes in an attempt learn something, but I wish I could have had that time back - the exams were designed to make you fail. Not only did they have negative points for wrong answers, the final exam gets the run-away record of being the worst exam written in all of history. It tested everything that was not focused on, with negative points being given should you guess incorrectly.
This course had a lab component. It was three hours a week of drawing things without spinal cords. At least speaking in a David Attenborough voice made it somewhat more bearable.
Finally, the course also demanded that I spend almost twenty dollars of my own money at the Aquarium and spend all my time looking at the boringest stuff, just trying to squeeze some more marks out of the tight fist of my cruel-meister-prof.
Ironically, I did decently in this course. Yet it's not one of those courses that was challenging, but you're happy you were able to come out on top. Just like Churchill would have preferred no war at all over his victory, I would have preferred to have never taken this course.

Top Six Frustrating Sleep Related Situations

2010-05-15T05:45:00.000-07:00

6) When you accidentally drink caffeine too late in the day and you lie awake for hours thinking, "if I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours of sleep....if I fall asleep now I'll get three hours of sleep...."

5)When you have to get up earlier than usual but for some reason your body wakes you up before your alarm (the inspiration for this morning's 5:45AM blog post)

4)When you sleep funny on your arm and you wake up and you can't feel it

3) Having a really stressful dream during a really stressful time in life (i.e. during my last couple weeks of college I kept having stressful dreams about camp that I had to save hundreds of campers and staff all by myself)

2) When someone is snoring and keeps you awake

1)When you sleep through your alarm and only have a few minutes to get ready to go somewhere (especially if you haven't washed your hair for a few days and it really needs to be cleaned)

Top Six Conversations We've Had With Mom

2010-05-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

Heads Up - Mother's Day is tomorrow. In honor of my own Mom, here are a few anecdotes from the Lady B family. They are a few of what I know are my Mom's favorite memories from motherhood and some of my favorite comments from being her child. Happy Mother's Day Mama J!

6) Halloween - One Halloween when I was in elementary school I didn't want to go to school. I was talking about it with my mom and my sister, Lady J, responded with "Well at least you don't have to sit next to DRACLEEA all day!"

5) The "Thugs" - I have a friend who my mom recently met at our college graduation. After the banquet she said to me, "I like how he matched his ear thugs to his tie". "Ear thugs?" I replied. "Yeah...isn't that what they're called? Because thugs wear them".

4) The Funny Hand - One morning I was getting ready for school. It was early. I'd boiled the water for mom's coffee and as I applied my makeup I heard her alarm go off. A few minutes later her door opened and as she blinked in the light from my bathroom, she sleepily commented, "Someone slept on my hand funny". I laughed and asked, "Was it you?" She blinked again and replied, "I think so...I was the only one in there".

3) The Birds and The Bees - Well, let's just say I didn't COMPLETELY understand the concept. I cried, and thanked my mom for going through that to get me.

2) My Future - The past week has supplied many conversations about my future. I suggested that maybe I should become a flight attendant. Mom's reply? "Yeah, then you could travel...and do that seatbelt thing".

1) The Stupid Glasses - When I was in second grade I got my first pair of glasses. Mom suggested a sensible metal frame but of course I wanted the purple and pink speckled ones with the purple and pink circles across the nose. Everyone told Mom to just let me pick the ones I wanted, so she did. My first day of school with my new specs I lined up outside the door just like any other day and Mom took Lady J (my sister) to Kindergarten. When her class was let into the room she came back to see if my class was still waiting. We were, and I was in tears. She picked me up and asked, "What's the matter?" Sniffling I replied, "Melissa said my glasses were stupid!" Mom resisted the urge to find the kid and give her what for and asked, "What's the truth?" "I LOOK FABLEEOUS!"

Thanks Mom for how much you love me and for always being 'fableeous'. I love you, Happy Mother's Day.

Top 6 Things I Want To Fight

2010-05-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

6. Triceratops
5. The Man
4. The Black Smoke Monster from Lost
3. The dog that bit me as a child
2. The MCAT
1. Any man who breaks Lady B's heart

Top Six Excerpts from “How to Get Your Cat to Do What You Want”…

2010-04-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

By Warren and Fay Eckstein

This might need to take up two posts, I’m pretty sure I have more than six and as I peruse this little tidbit of humor I'll probably come up with better exceprts that just need to be shared.

My beautiful sister sent a gift along with our aunt who was just visiting Ontario. It is a book which she felt we needed in our life as (apparently) our cat is ruling our lives. Little did she know, he would be diagnosed with diabetes two days later. Now we are learning how to give him daily insulin shots, and hoping J won’t keel over at the thought of more love being doled out on him. Yes I realize that this just may be another step in my becoming a crazy cat lady (Tim Urban has yet to fall in love with me)

Before I begin the official excerpts I thought it important to share this tiny little nugget from the “Important Notes” section of the book, just to prepare you for what is in store. “In order not to insult any of my feline friend, you’ll find throughout this book I switch back and forth from “he” to “she” and “him” to “her”. Clearly it would have been easier to refer to Kitty as “it” and avoid this gender dilemma altogether. But I couldn’t do that. Cats aren’t “its” They’re much too special for such a cold, non-descriptive label. So in the interest of fair play, for this book, sometimes Kitty is a boy and sometimes Kitty is a girl. I hope I’ve given them equal time”. Prepare yourself; this is going to be a good one.

6) Part One- NEW AGE THINKING ABOUT CATS: Chapter 2- Kitty’s Bill of Rights and The Feline Freedom March. “What type of life are we providing for the cat that never leaves home? Just how fair are we being? Can we reasonably expect our cats to sit around and watch General Hospital and all the other soaps day in and day out? Just what is the cat supposed to do one he know the answers to all the questions on Jeopardy? How should Kitty occupy himself when he already knows what Vanna will wear tonight? Cats should have certain civil rights….” First of all, who lets their cats watch General Hospital when they could be watching Glee (which my cat loves by the way).

5) Part Two- IT’S OKAY TO TALK TO YOUR CAT: Chapter 7 -Making Direct Eye Contact - A Must for a Highly Developed Relationship. “Unless they’re encouraged to make eye contact, they may never know that your eyes are five to six feet up in the air. As an experiment, lay flat on the floor and have someone stand over you. Strange feeling isn’t it? This gives you an idea of what Kitty sees from her perspective”. While it’s okay to talk to your cat, my mom and I are wondering if it’s okay to talk for your cat (as we often do).

4) Part Four- KITTY’S MENTAL HEALTH: Chapter 9 – Sex and the Single Cat (I couldn’t resist using this chapter which includes subtitles of “The Best Sex is no Sex”, “Can Kitty Be a Homosexual” and “Can Kitty Be a Nymphomaniac” as well as tips on birth control for “Kitty”.) The chapter starts off much like I would assume a cheap romance novel would. In order to keep this PG I’m just going to share that the author must be an interesting guy.
3) Part Four- KITTY’S MENTAL HEALTH: Chapter 6- Kitty’s Midlife Crisis. “Can kitty have a midlife crisis? You bet he can…” just buy him a sports car! Or have him read ahead to “Sex and the Single Cat”.

2) Part Five – KITTY KINDERGARTEN: Teaching Kitty to Walk On a Leash. Yes, I have tried to walk Oliver on a leash. Mostly it involved carrying him to the end of the driveway and running back into the house with him. What does “How to…” say? “Yes I have been called a pioneer in the field of pet facilitated therapy. Yes, I was one of the first people in the world who taught bets to hear for the deaf. Yea I was one of the earliest advocates of hugging and kissing healthy pets [ew] when critics claimed we’d all die from their germs…” Okay buddy, we get it, you’re innovative. “All cats should be taught to walk on a leash and harness. Please not that I said all cats”. Well, I’d better finish reading that chapter and really get Oliver going on some brisk jogs around the neighborhood.

1) This one is for Trisha. Part 6 – KITTY AEROBICS: Chapter 4-Kitty Massage. There are a few nuggets in this chapter. “Besides feeling good, a massage will help desensitize Kitty to being touched” (and that’s what we always want right?). There is also a “how to” section. Note: Stay clear of the spinal cord.

Well, I am now well on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady as you can all see. But at least I know “How To Get [My] Cat To Do What I Want”.

Top 6 Physics Laws

2010-04-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

I am not an authority on Physics laws, so these are not truly the greatest of all time - just in my limited knowledge. For those interested, my cat is sitting on my shoulder and my dog is sleeping in a plant in my backyard.

6. Snell's Law - The sine of the angle of incidence multiplied by the refractive index of the initial medium is equal to sine of the angle of refraction multiplied by the refractive index of the medium the ray of light enters. All angles with respect to the normal of the surface, of course.

5. Newton's Laws of Universal Gravitation - It doesn't work at an atomic level. So much for always relying on gravity.

4. Faraday's Laws of Electromagnetic Induction/Lenz's Law - Magnets and current can cause some nasty opposition. If you've got some magnets, some copper and some faith, you can achieve levitation.

3. Newton's Laws of Motion - Pretty much the entirety of an introductory physics course - and much of every other course you take.

2. First Law of Thermodynamics - Turns out that energy cannot be created or destroyed - only lost relative to a system as heat.

1. Maxwell's Equations (all four are Laws) - A flawless representation of classic electromagnetism. I've heard it even works on extreme levels.

Top Six Highlights of the Last Ten Days

2010-04-05T22:19:00.000-07:00

6) April 5- Tied for first place a) leading my last ever class chapel at Summit Pacific College and b) writing my last ever counseling paper for my college career. My job as class president is almost over and I won't have to write another counseling paper until I do my master's. It was a bittersweet moment. I love my counseling courses. If I could only take counseling courses I would. If only my other papers were finished as well...

5) April 4- Spending the day with my family. We went to a wonderful Easter brunch at the Semiahmoo Inn in Blaine, Washington. We had church in the living room at Grandma and Papa's new condo and Great Grandpa Janz prayed for us. My parents and I had the priviledge of driving Great Grandpa Janz home and listening to his stories.

4) April 3 - Finding a dress for the grad banquet. I have probably tried on over 40 dresses. I finally found the perfect one on Saturday. It will be perfect with my shoes.

3) March 29 - I got to spend the day driving to Seattle with my friends Corey and Danielle. Danielle was leaving for Ecuador for a missions trip and we had a wonderful time driving down there, eating lunch at my favorite sub place in Bellingham, getting coffee at my second favorite coffee place in Bellingham, shopping at the outlets, wearing red shoes and listening to 'Hello Seattle' way too many times.

2) March 29 - Finding out that one of my favorite people in the whole wide world is going to be working at camp with me this summer. We will share an office and a cabin and it will be splendid. Christina, you are great and I am so thankful for you.

1) March 29 (it was a REALLY good day!) - I found out that I made it into the Top 24 for 107.1 FM's Big Break Contest (http://www.country1071.com/concerts/more.jsp?content=20100330_163354_6640). It is such an honor to be chosen and I can't wait to see what God has up his sleevies for the next round!

Top Six Procrastination Tools

2010-02-21T16:25:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be studying for my Old Testament Theology exam right now. It feels slightly superfluous since I took Pentateuch from the same prof and I'm pretty sure he's using the same notes. We've just reached The Call of Moses in class so thus far it's all been stuff I've heard before (he even uses the same jokes in the same parts of the notes). So, procrastinating is looking really great right now. Here are some wonderful procrastination tools if you find yourself in a similar place as me. (PS - Writing a blog post is a given, seeing as that is what I'm doing so you won't find it on the list. Please see it as an acceptable alternative to anything you dislike on the following list.)

6. Facebook - The ultimate procrastination tool. If you don't have any wall posts, photo comments or messages to read, write some. Go to the photo section and see what your friends have posted lately. Read some notes, look for interesting groups, go to a group for a television show and play trivia games! The possibilities are endless!

5. Youtube videos - my favorites right now are Prank Wars. However if you search Kittens Inspired by Kittens, Baby Laughing at Ripping Paper or A cultural birthday extravaganza for Jess' sister Becca you will not be disappointed. Once you've found a video you like check out the side bar for videos that are similar. You can also find me singing the national anthem at a Cheifs game if you're interested by searching Becca Janz. (Sidenote - I went to look up the birthday one from my sister and in the related videos section is a video of Jessica Lowndes (from 90210) singing something...I went to high school with her! CRAZY!)

4. Tetris

3. Reorganize your closet/bathroom/bedroom/sock drawer. That way you will feel productive as you procrastinate. Organizing your bookself into alphabetical order, smallest to largest or by the dewey decimal system is also acceptable.

2. Check the Fox website for updates on the open casting call for GLEE. I check it every day just in case they've put up more information on it...even though I signed up for an email to let me know when there is more information. My procrastination in this manner for today led me to having FINN HUDSON (played by Calgary native Corey Monteith) as my desktop background. Yes, I'm a Gleek.

1. MLIA. mylifeisaverage.com is an amazing procrastination tool! It's better than FML because it is funny and happy and doesn't talk about awkward things that happen when you hook up with people as much. Stories about Harry Potter, Onsies, Snuggies and really cool old people dominate the pages and I guarantee you, you will find yourself chuckling out loud at least once if you read a few pages. I once submitted a story which was posted. It was the best day of my life.

Top 6 Ninja Turtles Characters

2010-02-19T16:19:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, I can only choose six.

6. Leonardo - Although everyone wanted to be the blue-masked leader of green gang when they played Ninja Turtles on the school playground, it was for all the wrong reasons. The kids who wanted to be Leo (myself included) were just power-tripping. They wanted to don the mantle of Leonardo so that they could be in charge. That's all Leonardo really had going for him. That, the color blue and the sweet swords. However, a more mature view of Leo realizes that he really didn't have much in the way of personality or charisma. In fact, he was a little bossy. Leonardo was always trying train harder and learn all he could from that stupid rat-sensei Splinter. Lame. But, he was still a turtle, so he does belong on this list.

5. April O'Neil - April was the leading lady and leading human all in one. Due to the species difference, there wasn't any of that silly romance junk that infected so many other good cartoons. Sure, she did get captured by the enemy from time to time, but she also showed resilience in helping the turtles out in substantial ways. April also demonstrated a strong sense of adaptability - meeting turtle and rat mutants in a sewer would be enough to send some folks to the madhouse. But not April! She also had that sweet yellow jumpsuit.

4. Donatello - I had a bit of a Donatello phase. It was mainly due to the fact that he was far superior to the other three in the original NES turtles video game due to the length of his weapon. It's Bo staff, and it's awesome. Don proved himself vital to the team many times with his gadgets, gizmos and scientific know-how. Half the things that made the turtles so radical, like the Turtle Van or their hover skateboards, would not have been possible without his inexplicable turtle-mutant intellectual wizardry.

3. Raphael - I feel like Ralph always got a bad rap because his weapons were a little silly. It wasn't until my later years that I realized Ralph to be the most interesting turtle personality-wise. Ralph often employed sarcasm, a nuance that was beyond me in my earlier years. Also, you got the impression that he was one degree away from being a bad guy. We all know the best heroes are the ones that could just as easily be villians. Unlike that silly Leonardo and his silly ideals.

2. Michaelangelo - Mikey is the highest-ranked turtle because he embodies what we all remember and love about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - partying, pizza and the term 'Cowabunga'. His character may not be that deep, but I am continually amazed at his ability to make pizza-related comments. And nunchuks were, are and always will be awesome.

1. The Shredder - First of all, he was voiced by Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Already enough reason for him to top this list. Secondly, and more importantly, Shredder was far from the cut-and-dry villian of late 80's/early 90's cartoons. Sure, he was an ex-ninja master with a ridiculous name and silly spikey armor. But what I didn't pick up when I was young was how delightfully inept he was. Shredder was the puppet of some alien brain-thing name Krang and demonstrated persistence in managing to foul up attempts at taking out the turtles. He wasn't the pure evil villian with no personality. Rather, he was a cape-wearing blundering fool who couldn't even conquer a group of mutant turtles. Don't worry though, Shredder, for you have conquered our hearts.

Top 6 Cups

2010-02-15T11:04:00.000-08:00

So I want to try something a little different, I won't explain my list but let the list do the talking

6) Grey Cup

5) Soup Cup

4) Sippy Cup

3) Milk Bone Cup

2) Stanley Cup

1) Protective Cup

Top Six Leading Ladies I Wish I Could Have Played

2010-01-22T22:25:00.000-08:00

There have been some amazing roles played by amazing women. As much as I love to watch them on screen part of me wishes they'd waited until now to make some of my favorite movies, simply so I could have played the lead.

6. Betty Haynes – White Christmas (1954), played by Rosemary Clooney (The aunt of George Clooney). This would not be my first choice but I love this movie. While I could definitely go without having too kiss Bing Crosby, I would have loved to be a part of this film. It’s such a wonderful Christmas movie. Another fun family fact: This was the first DVD my family ever bought.

5. Princess Leia – The Star Wars IV, V and VI (1977), played by Carrie Fisher. Yes, I am a little bit of a Star Wars geek. To tell the truth I’d rather be known as having something to do with R2D2, but seeing as this post has to do with leading ladies I’ll go with Princess Leia to get the geek out of me. Princess Leia is strong and attractive and super brave. The only thing that could improve this leading lady would be an ability to use a light saber.

4. Jo March – Little Women (1933 or 1994), played by Katherine Hepburn (1933) and Winona Ryder (1994) – Jo is such a fun, strong character. She is full of ambition and spunk and passion. She loves her family and stands up for what she believes in. What a wonderful woman to look up to.

3. Kathy Selden - Singin' In the Rain (1952), played by Debbie Reynolds (who just so happens to be the mother of Carrie Fisher who played Princess Leia) - This is my alltime favorite movie. I love it. The only problem for me playing this role is that I can not dance to save my life which is slightly essential to the role. I love Kathy Selden for her sassy sarcasm, her kindess and of course for the fact that she gets to kiss Gene Kelly...who wouldn't want to play this role?

2. Scarlett O'Hara – Gone With the Wind (1939), played by Vivien Leigh. What a fire ball! I think the main reason I would want to play Scarlett is the fact that she gets to say things like “fiddle dee dee” and go around slapping people and all the men fall in love with her. Also –again- Clark Gable…thank you God for making Clark Gable.

1. Belle - Beauty and the Beast (1991), played by Paige O'Hara - This is my favorite Disney movie. It's the one I grew up on. The one I watched all the time. The one for which I owned the Barbie (both Belle and The Beast - who came complete with a head and paws that you could take off to reveal the true prince inside), the PJ's and the Puzzle. It is because of this movie that my dream of playing the voice of a Disney character was sparked. Belle is my dream role and I would drop everything in my life given the chance to play her on stage.

Top Six Exciting Things This Week

2010-01-16T01:18:00.000-08:00

6. Moving Home - I decided on Sunday (the day before I was supposed to move back to school) that I would live at home and commute from Langley to Abbotsford for my last semester of college. No - I did not get my driver's license. Yes - My mom is driving me to and from school every day. Don't laugh, I know you're just jealous that you don't get to spend that much time with my mom.

5. It was the first week of my last semester of college! I am SO ready to be done it's not even funny. Last semester went from bad to worse and the difficulties with friendships and the fact that I'm feeling like I'm suffocating just aren't helping my desire to be finished. 104 days.

4. Gluten Free Cooking - I bought a GF cookbook on Sunday and have made some delicious discoveries. One of them may have been that it sucks when you try to spread out pancake batter by tipping the frying pan and your pancake falls into the stove top causing a small fire and a big mess, but I'm learning and eating things that taste like normal food but won't make my stomach want to kill me.

3.Glee! - I bought the first season on DVD and the first soundtrack. I also found out that they are holding open auditions for the second season and you can submit your audition online. Look out world, I sing, I act...and I'll work on the dancing.

2. I have my own room again - I loved my roomate but it is so nice to be able to retreat into my room and be alone with my thoughts. Sure my thoughts keep me from being able to sleep, but at least my inability to sleep won't be keeping anyone but my cat awake.

1. I've got a new man in my life...okay...he's not new...and technically...he's a cat. But at least I know he's going to love me as long as I keep feeding him and the only way he'll hurt me is if I touch his stomach, and even then it's just going to be a scratch. I believe step one in my becoming a crazy cat lady has been accomplished...success.

Top 6 moments of 2009

2010-01-07T14:23:00.000-08:00

6)Concerts- So this year was a good year for shows, seeing bands like Gob and reliving my Grade 8 and 9 years was pretty hilarious, and sort of scary how many lyrics I remebered. But by far the best two shows were Coldplay and U2. I wanted to see Coldplay so bad this tour and I they didn't let me down, they get better with thye more albums they put out. U2, what can I say, the first chords of Streets of No Name get me everytime. I hate to say this but a little respect for the opening bands for doing a decent job for pumping up the crowd.

5)Summer Season 1- So this was the first summer I was home for more than 10days in about three years. All I can say it was glorious. Late night soccer and working a job with no school provided em with ample enjoyment. Even though certain jobs shut me down it was one of the best summers I've ever had. Full of good people and good times, and porch talks.

4)Homewood- So my past summers had been spent working the entire summer at Camp and this was the first summer I didn't do that. The 3 weeks I spent up there were great just sailing and taking in the sights and sounds of the ocean. Probably the best thing that happened was at a kids chapel and I had a moment of revelation, that it was time too let go of the camp life.

3)Excelling in School- For the first time this year, I excelled in university. I got good grades and put the time and effort required to succeed at a University levels and I even got into the program I wanted to get into. Ironically enough I'm no longer there but it's still a good feeling.

2)Moving to Langley- This one was out of left field and was a very hard descision to make but here I am, I'm hoping for the best and things work out, I'm enjoying it so far. I could probably write an entire post on this alone but I'll leave it at that.

1) West Coast Trail- It's been a dream of mine and some of my good friends to hike this, and we finally conquered it during the last week of summer. Thorough much toil and tears, we conqured the trail and had a great time doing it, I probably spent far too much getting ready for the trail but it was worth it, so was a $20 burger.

Special Post

0.5- The Love (with a bullet)

Top 6 Movies I Watched Over My Christmas Break

2010-01-04T19:35:00.001-08:00

I watched twelve movies in the past week and a half. Here are the best half-dozen:

6. Dreamgirls - This movie had so much potential for the first hour and a bit. It demonstrated a re-occurring theme I find in movies - nobody knows how to wrap up stories anymore. That's why so many movies have bad endings.

5. I Am Legend - Not as good as everyone made it out to be, but still better than 7 of the other movies I watched over the holidays. I did some research on the book that it was based off of, and apparently it's completely different. The Hollywood film has a much lighter ending; the original book is more science-fictiony with vampires. After reading a synopsis of the book though, I don't think it would be much better.

4. Titanic - I watched Avatar over this break (which did NOT make the list) and was inspired to watch James Cameron's swan song again. I appreciated this movie a lot more now that I'm a decade older. It has its flaws, but does such a phenomenal job of making you so happy and then depressing you like you've never been before. If not for the last 30 second scene which gives some level of hope, it wouldn't have made half the money it did.

3. The Queen - This was a surprise. I had heard good things, but wondered how good it would actually be. Phenomenal character development and brilliant lines. It's not super accessible, but people who stick it out will be pleased.

2. It's A Wonderful Life - This is only a Christmas movie because of the last little bit. That's a good thing though, since that means people will watch it once a year. That whole bell-ringing angel-winging thing still bugs me though.

1. Up In The Air - Why is this movie so great? Because the character development is so great. (See last post)

Top 6 Most Significant Movie "Types" of The Past Decade

2009-12-23T16:13:00.000-08:00

There was some talk amongst our StopSix writers of doing decade-oriented lists, since in a few days we will see the end of our current ten-year time period and the beginning of another. To list the Top 6 most significant movies of the past decade would be an impossible task, mainly limited by memory constraints. However, ten years ago I viewed and understood movies completely differently than I do now. Sadly, I have become one of those people who sees movies as art now, and one who has absolutely no desire to use movies as a mindless escape. Thus, I'd rather catalogue six different types (not genres) of movies and how my understanding and attitude towards them has developed over the past ten years.

6. The Comedy - I used to sneak into R-rated teen comedies because I thought they were funny. Fortunately, I grew up and not only understood the error of my ways, but the misdirectedness of my sense of humor. Unfortunately, movies did not grow up with me. There are far too few comedies that are actually funny these days. Most of them are content to run with a weak idea that would be overused in a three-minute digital short. One thing I've noticed is that most comedies are funnier after their lines are repeated a thousand times at parties where people aren't clever enough to come up with their own material. That's not a sign of good writing, it's a sign of an untalented public. I can't really blame them though, since their only example of multi-million dollar comedy is the same old jokes being put out by the same old groups in moderately different scenarios.

5. The Alpha Male - I also started the decade loving those awesome movies about soliders and war heroes that lead armies to destroy the forces of evil. It inspired me as a man and made me want to go out into the world and make something of myself. But it turns out that making something of yourself is not as simple as killing an evil army. That's because it turns out that the black and white of good and evil cannot be easily applied to other people or nations. I am not a pacifist, but I am not a fan of films that glamorize the alpha male desire to divide and conquer. War and violence may be necessary, but as soon as we see them as glorious rather than disparaging, we've completely missed the lessons of history. We're already there.
I heard somebody say they enjoyed the stylized violence of a film them saw, and another talk up a film because of its cathardic look at the greatest atrocities of the 20th century. I might have had similar thoughts - ten years ago.

4. The Acid Trip - The indie/artsy movie really made an splash this past decade. Heck, indie-everything was the buzzword of the first ten years of the 21st century. I am far from being a guy who lives and dies by ecclectic films; I'll be the first to argue that an artsy film has foregone depth for abstract presentation. Yet I will admit, that if done properly, there is certainly room for films that are at times bizzare. Really, you can do anything if you do it for the right reasons.

3. The Summer Blockbuster - Some of my old favorite movies were summer blockbusters. I used to love hype, and having to buy tickets in advance just to see a film was reason enough to do so. It also helps that many summer blockbusters of the previous ten years were based off of things I enjoyed as a young boy, or sequels to franchises I already loved. But as the years went along, I noticed that the sequels were not quite as good, or if I took away the nostalgia I had associated with the series, I found out that they really didn't have much to offer at all. Explosions, action and a well-placed score do little if the plot is completely uninspired. This disappointment in summer blockbusters found its pinnacle this past summer in the worst film I had seen in my life, which still made hundreds of millions of dollars. Maybe there's hope for these big-budget summer season flicks, but I'm not holding any out.

2. The Award Contender - In the past I have been quite into seeing what film gets what award, what acting performance was best and so on and so forth. And I do appreciate that nomination lists serve as a good filter for what movies I should watch. However, I hate award cermonies. I usually watch them and get really annoyed with the trivialty of materialistic Hollywood. Truthfully, the amount of awards a movie gets should not determine its value. That being said, like so many others I do tend to base merit along lines of tangible recognition - something I am trying to eradicate from my enjoyment of film as well as other areas of life.

1. The One About The Character - There are many things people will like about a movie. They may like the music, the action, the special effects, the lighting or the filmography. But what makes a movie timeless or a story powerful is the characters. I noticed that over the past decade all my favorite movies have involved a character or characters that I find impacting, aspire to be like or relate to. The movies people like say a lot about themselves, even in the case of an escapist film. That's because movies, like any form of human art, are made by people and are thus inherently about people. Our fascination with art is really just a fascination with persons.

Top 6 Reasons Why I Should be in Ohio

2009-11-27T10:22:00.000-08:00

6) My Name- Mark is only one syllable, just like the name James. Put the name Bond at the end and it sounds more like James Bond, the name is Mark, Mark Bond. Sounds more like the movie.

5) I Like Turkey- I love eating turkey dinners, I could eat them at least once a week and I appreciate them for what they are, a delicious family tradition.

4) I'm Good at Meeting the Parents- I think we all know how much Alysha's parents love me and I think I could demand the same respect and fondness from Ian's parents as well. Tell a few jokes, tell them I think there son is a hard worker and they'll be head over heels for me.

3) I Know the Local Sports Teams- Mr. Bond and I could sit down and enjoy the local sporting event like watching the Cincinnati Bengals play football or the Cleveland Cavaliers play basketball. I feel like it could be some bonding moments that could once again score me points.

2) I've Also Worked at a Camp- I know both Becca and Ian have worked at a camp, but so have I. The stories I have are just as relevant as their stories. I could tug on the Bond's heart strings with an emotional story about the troubled kid or tell them a bust a gut funny story about kids wetting their beds, really, I have all the basics covered.

1) I Know American History- I've studied the Ohio River Valley, I know George Washington attacked a small French settlement which sparked the French Indian War which then sparked the 7 Years War which changed history. I could take the Bond family on a tour of their own state and tell them about it.

Top Six Thoughts Keeping Me Awake Right Now

2009-11-25T01:33:00.000-08:00

1- I should not drink coffee at 3pm when I have to get up at 5:20am the next morning.

2 - Why won't my hair stay clean for longer than 15 minutes after I shower? I'm going to look like a slob upon arrival tomorrow.

3 - Is my computer really an essential item to bring this weekend? How will I get it through security? Which bag should I put it in?

4 - Why is my cat snoring?

5 - If I fell asleep right now I'd get 3hrs and 10 mins of sleep.

6 - What if my plane crashes on an island that no one can find? I would stay faithful to Ian...even if Jack Shepherd was there. I promise. If my plane disappears, please look near Fiji...and beware of electromagnetic....something...I still don't quite understand how the whole Lost thing works

Top Six Things To Do in the Mall When You Forget Your Debit Card

2009-11-21T14:51:00.000-08:00

This may or may not have happened to me today. I may or may not have had $9.50 in my wallet. I may or may not have done all of these things. you will have to guess.

6- Go into dressing rooms and listen to the conversations that the attendants are having. Apparently Girl A and Boy A are a really cute couple but Girl A doesn't like that Boy A tells his best friend, Girl B that he loves her. Ouch.

5- Go into stores that you don't usually frequent. Jewelery stores are fun, and sparkley. The Store of Knives doesn't only have knives, they also have fun gadgets like ice cream scoops and vegetable peelers. Who knew?

4 - Instead of passing by all those kiosk workers you usually ignore, let them give you their speal about how great their product is. Takes up time and allows them to practice for people who actually have money.

3 - Try on clothes that you would never actually buy or afford. It's fun to pretend you can afford a $200 dress. Plus it makes you feel like a movie star.

2 - Buy a cheap book and read it in the food court. My suggestion - any Archie Comic of your choice. Sure to take up at least an hour.

1 - Go into stores and talk to people. Every time you talk to a new person, use a different accent. Make up fun stories about where you are from. or pretend you don't speak english and you have a really urgent problem, this one only works if you speak more than one language....or are good at faking one.

Top 6 Bears

2009-11-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

Because Ursidae are our friends.

6. Yogi - I really hate cartoons where the protagonist is a bumbling loser who makes life hard for another character who's just trying to do his best. Naturally, I'm not a fan of Yogi Bear. Ranger Smith is just trying to keep things at Jellystone park going fine, and there's Yogi stealing all of the "pikinik" baskets. However, Yogi is a pretty big deal, so I'll give him some props and put him in at number 6.

5. Paddington - Before I even knew that this bear had his own cartoon show, I remember having a small Paddington Bear calendar. All of the pictures featured a stuffed-animal version of Paddington in some of the coziest scenes I have seen in my life. I longed to be in that cozy world of Paddington, and I still do. Props to you Paddington for finding the coziest things in life.

4. Smokey the - He's really just concerned about forest fires. Unfortunately, he hasn't yet learned that uncontrolled forest fires can actually be a help in certain situations, especially in pest management. Maybe Smokey's the guy to blame for the pine beetle problem in British Columbia. Maybe there needs to be another bear that shows Smokey where it's at - that only uncontrolled forest fires can prevent excessive economic damage to human activities by killing off the mountain pine beetles. How about that, Smokey?

3. Bear Grylls - Anyone can survive in the wilderness - it's called being a nomad. People did it for years, but then they built houses and lived in those. I don't get the big deal about adding more inconvenience to your life by living with trees. That's what's so great about Bear Grylls of Man vs. Wild fame. He's not actually trying to survive in crazy situations - he's just pretending to and making a lot of money for it. Apparently some of his exploits are faked. I don't know if this is true but, this is a blog and blogs are for perpetuating unsubstantiated rumors.

2. Baloo - Baloo is an inspirational story for us all. He started singing songs to a boy in the Jungle, and ended up becoming a pilot with his own TV show. Not bad for a beast.

1. Winnie the Pooh - Thank you Winnie the Pooh for being my childhood. Thank you that the 100 Acre Wood is a land of endless fun and happiness. Thank you for bringing Tigger into my life. Thank you for having a voice that sounds like my grandmother.

Top Six Things That Grind My Gears Today

2009-11-01T14:07:00.000-08:00

6) Food - I have a sensitive stomach. The cafeteria food at school makes it feel like it is exploding. The cafeteria food also makes my taste buds which they were non existant.

5) Money - I lost my job yesterday. They're closing down the bookstore at school for the rest of the semester. Thus I have no job as of now.

4) Noise - The boys above me are loud. Real loud. They play stupid music and thump around like they are elephants. No one cares that it bothers me.

3) Long Distance Relationships - no explanation needed

2) Internet - it is slow.

1) Sickness - my throat started hurting. i have a cough. i am nauseous. if you don't hear from me for awhile you might want to check if i've died of swine flu.

I am thinking that if things don't get better I might just pull a Finneas and drop out with one semester left of school.

Top 6 reasons Capital Hill is a Beacon of Hope

2009-10-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

So I'm back in Victoria all be it for who knows how long but my friend and I have a nice little place we call Capital Hill. Named after the glorious capital in Washington D.C. and I truly believe believe we are an extension of that inspirational instution and here is why...

6) We Hate Communism- Nothing grinds our gears more than Socialist ideas. One of our friends hate capitalism and loves Marx like the Lover she truly wants. We constantly remind her how she gets to our house, by money. Money to pay for gas, for her car, for her clothes. If those Commi bastards came over to Canada we would all be driving Russian motor bikes that run on good intentions going from farm to farm for the collective good of the country, collective good, who needs that?

5) Were both White Men- Everyone knows that the people who get things done are white men. Were the ones who colonized the world and got rid of terrorists because they attacked America. If it wasn't for the white man, I would not be writing this at a computer with a light over my head, take that Women's Studies.

4) We Love Freedom- Nothing says freedom like walking home to your furnished place and watching a sporting event on a huge TV in High Definition while having five different appliances run at once. Because of the post above, Im able to live a life free of tyranny and fear because Al Quadia is on the run. With America showing all freedom and courage to fight against these evil doers, it inspires me to live my life with the most excess possible and know that I deserve it because Im friends with America. Which leads me to my next point.

3) We Love America- Honestly, when has America ever steered us wrong. Looking back at all the times it saved us from a potential deadly foe. Do I need to list them? The USSR, Vietnam, Iraq, Iran. These countries all wanted to bring America to its knees with their socialist ways and potential nuclear weapons but do you know who stood tall in the face of adversity, men like George Bush and Richard Nixon were shining lights in a dark world. Both me and my roommate say how thankful we are that we can live here and be free because of the glorious battles won in the fields of Vietnam or by the fearless spies in Moscow. One more thing, WW2, look who brought the pain to those Nazi's.

2) We Love Capitalism- Who doesn't? It get things done and pays the bill so corporate CEO's can fly in their private jets to Gilbraltar for the weekend. people say Capitalism is flawed because it exposes rescources and makes the richer even more rich and poorer even more poor. We got news for you, its called life. People may also say that the economic collapse last fall showed Capitalism's flaws. We say it was like when Optimus Prime was defeated in Transformer's 2, he might have shown weakness, but he came back stronger than ever and destroyed Megatron or whatever that guys name was (Probably Lenin or Stalin). Were all about earning money so we can purchase items for ourselves in a business interaction.

1) We Love Barack- What a story, a society so loving and accepting of all cultures throughout its history. The elect a mn based on the quality of their character, not the color of their skin. Even though a self proclaimed "Maverick" was tempting, Americ showed it was color blind. For that we salute America (Refer to Post#3) for being mature and grown up. As we speak I am looking at the Barack poster in our living room saying to all of us, "Our destiny isn't written for us, but by us." Wow, what can you say other than that is the man to lead this world into a future brighter than the sun.

Top 6 Forms of Alternative Transportation

2009-10-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

Everybody's going green these days, and since I follow crowds, I guess I will too.

6. A Cannon - You know what grinds my gears? It's how the circus doesn't get enough blame. Who pioneered animal cruelty? Who first made a mockery of funny-looking and genetically damaged people? Who invented clowns? Who forced nimble people to flip around at dangerous heights and perform death-defying feats with no regard for their safety? Nowadays, people still love the circus. You may think the Cirque de Soleil is all trendy and whatnot, but I guarantee you that somewhere in the back some clowns are beating on poor acrobatic bear-mutants.
But the one thing that the circus has done right was the usage of cannons. Not only are they fuel-efficient, they're a whole lot faster than what you're probably used to. Also, they most likely won't break down as much as your car since all you need is a tube and an explosion! Maybe a helmet too...

5. An Umbrella - Everyone's talking about using wind power these days. So how come nobody mentions wind's best friend - the umbrella? Merely open it on a blustery day and you're off! The downsides are that you have absolutely no control over where you go, and if the wind isn't in your favor, then you're screwed. However, it forces you to stay in shape because otherwise you'll never make it off the ground.

4. Pipes - Contrary to popular belief, you can actually defy gravity in these bad boys. You don't always fall down them, but can also go up, sideways or a combination of any directions you want! Just watch out for piranha flowers.

3. Magic Carpet - Great for a date.

2. Mechanized Robotic Exoskeleton - You know what else grinds my gears? People abusing their power. It's the only reason we don't all have our own personal mechanized robotic exoskeletons. It was fun for everyone at first, using their rocket thrusters to zoom all around and whatnot. Then, some joker goes ahead and uses the built-in laser-guided "Meteor Storm" cluster bomb device. BAM! Nobody gets to use them anymore.

1. Flying - There are millions of people who can fly. If only they believed...

Top 6 Television Characters That Epitomize My Character Flaws

2009-09-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

I am not perfect, and TV has helped me better understand that.

6. Dr. Dorian, Scrubs - JD may be ridiculous in a charming sort of way, but he has a fairly big flaw. That flaw is his belief that people are interested in his life. Don't get me wrong, I find his life pretty interesting at points. But truthfully it is a little pretentious to think that people want to follow eight-plus years of your life and witness your every odd thought and experience. I can't be too harsh on JD, however, since I also consider my life experiences to be worth sharing. Many victims of my self-centric existence have been made subject to boring tales of my life that I find fascinating.

5. Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld - A lot of people enjoy Seinfeld because the characters are such losers. I'm not so quick to say that myself, since I relate to the characters more often than I should. The best example of this is found in Jerry, when he claims that he doesn't want to be with a girl with "man hands". I understand that. Like Jerry, I have often turned aside many good things because of minute details that I obsess over.

4. Peter Parker, Spider-Man - Just because you have super powers doesn't entitle you to be the determining force of justice. There is a legal system in place, and it applies to all members of society - mutant or not. Although I am still not a mutant, I still think that I know better than everyone else. Silly, silly me.

3. James Ford a.k.a. "Sawyer", Lost - Sawyer likes to give people nicknames. He thinks it is funny. They don't like it. I tried nicknaming everyone at my old school because I thought it would be funny. Nobody liked it. So I stopped.

2. Michael Scott, The Office - The difference between Michael and I is sheer ignorance. Michael says terribly awkward things because he doesn't know better. I like to say such things because I think there is a lot of good in bringing up uncomfortable truths. I guess that makes me worse than Michael, since I can't even play the ignorance card.

1. Dr. Gregory House, House M.D. - There's a lot of things wrong with House, but the one I'm most related to myself is his inability to let things go. There's nothing like wasting three hours on your computer trying to figure out a single question on your Chemistry pre-lab that makes you realize that maybe it's okay not to have all the answers. Like House, I've heard this many times, yet I still keep trying.

Top 6 Things That Suck About The "In Between Times"

2009-09-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

Camp ended on Saturday and I don't move in to school until Sunday. LAME.

6. You never know when to eat - When you are on a schedule, such as at Camp or School, you have set meal times. The past few days I have wandered into the kitchen much more often than necessary or (like today) forgotten to eat.

5. It seems useless to unpack - Thus all of my stuff is sitting around my room unorganizedly just waiting to be moved again.

4. Everyone else is too busy to see you - Everyone else has jobs to do, I only have a week to see people and they are all to busy. Hence...

3. Boredom sets in - I've watched too much TV, checked my facebook countless times and sit waiting for the phone to ring (hoping it's someone calling me back but usually it's not).

2. It's really tempting to lay in bed all day - maybe not a bad thing but at the same time, I like to be productive. I keep trying to convince myself that catching up on sleep IS productive but I don't believe myself...and neither does my mom.

1. I miss people - I think once I get busy with school and student council and ministry and work and life it will be easier to not miss people as much. But right now I miss Firwood and all the people involved. And I keep thinking in worst case senarios and hating that my best friend isn't coming back to school and thinking that no one will want to hang out with me at school and I'll just be a loner all the time. What a sad life that will be...

Top 6 Best "Unusual" Places To Be A Doctor

2009-07-27T18:00:00.001-07:00

I have ventured on a long path of trying to become a physician. I'm really enjoying it. However, I will enjoy being a doctor a lot more than trying to be one. Or so I hope.
In thinking about my future, I have day-dreamt some fantastical situations that I could get myself into where being a doctor will be even more totally awesome. Here they are:

6. In a regular, social gathering crowd - This is the classic one. Somebody starts choking, faints or bleeding from their eyes and a cry for help is raised. In steps me: "It's okay. I'm a doctor." A hush of awe overcomes the crowd as I pull out my handy-dandy "doctor tool belt" that sports all of the medicine I would ever need (all doctors carry them around). In a few short moments, I would restore the individual back to better health than they ever had. Applause ensues.

5. During a pandemic - I love Organic Chemistry. I never thought that I would be able to say that truly. It's the first class where studying rarely feels like studying. Knowledge of how to synthesize ketones brings me joy. Hopefully I'll continue to study it, so that when that really big pandemic comes and wipes out 2/3 of the world, I'll be okay. I'll be able to synthesize my own antidote and go on a quest to save the world. Despite my best efforts, much tragedy will still result, causing me to be plagued with Schindler-like woe. I will become a dynamic character full of alternating joy and torment. And those are the best kind.

4. On a date - Think of all the wonderfully cheesy lines you could use on a date. Or what if your date experiences a health crisis while dating you? No problem. You save her, and she's yours forever. And getting dates isn't a problem either when you're a doctor.

3. In a war - To be completely honest with you, I think the world is going to explode sometime soon. A lot of people are afraid of that - but not me. As a physician, I will be virtually immortal. Somebody blows my arm off? No problem! I'll just sew it back on. And I wouldn't even have to kill anybody if there were conscription. I could just work at the hospital, taking care of all the wounded.

2. As a castaway on an island - The entire cast of Lost would be dead by now if it weren't for Dr. Jack Shepard.

1. In space - Everything is at its coolest in space.

Top 6 Things I Love About Junior Campers

2009-07-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

I’ve come up with quite a few ideas for blog entries but this is the one that is winning right now. If you haven’t read the post before this by Finneas you a) should and b) won’t know that I am away working at a summer camp in Western Washington. Last week was our first week with Junior Campers and I think they are officially my favorite age group (you can expect future entries on the Top 6 Thing I Love About Junior High Campers and then High School Campers). Junior Campers are grades 3-6.

6) They’re so little. Every single one of them is cute. They run around just being their little selves and it’s adorable.

5) They say hilarious things. One camper last week wrote a story during free time one day. She read it to me and I kept the paper she wrote it on. The first line is "A puppy walking down the road grabbed by a bloody hand...". Creepy? Yes. Hilarious? Obviously.

4) They think you’re great no matter how cool you actually are. There was a camper here to was in my cabin last summer and she was convinced that if she told me she was homesick I would let her go home. Not in my power at all. But we spent a lot of time together and she just really liked me. We didn't do anything amazingly cool but we painted pictures for her counselors and we ran around picking up dodgeballs for the people who were playing dodgeball. Apparently this makes me cool.

3) They are really easily amused. One day last week I played with a couple girls for half an hour. What did we play? How many times can we throw this ball to each other without dropping it? The record was 40.

2) They hug me. I told the counselors that I like it when campers cry because then they hug me. I really like hugs.

1) They wear the same clothes all week. My personal favorite from last week was Beth who wore a blue flannel onesie all week...seriously...every single day. Socks and flip flops were also a part of the getup I believe...

I think I might have to write more about Junior Campers because I really love them. But I'll save it for another week. Maybe Top Six Junior Camper Quotes or something.

Top 6 Things I Miss About Lady B

2009-06-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Lady B has up and gone away for the rest of the season, and I am much distraught. I knew the summer would be hard without her, but I never thought that even the past few weeks would be as hard as they have already been. This is a tribute to her, and all she does to enrich my life.

6. Her hair - Many poems have been written about women's hair, but none would be able to capture the beauty of Lady B's brunette locks. They are strong, like a douglas fir, yet soft and gentle like a supple field mouse. Her hair carries the scent of everything that is beautiful in the world. She doesn't know this, but I stole a lock of her hair before she left. But it is not enough.

5. Her smile - Some people say that snow is pure. Others claim it about a perfect oyster. Those fools have not seen the brilliance of Lady B's smile. This purity is both literal and metaphorical - she keeps her teeth and her innocence of spirit, which is displayed in her smile, equally clean. When I see her smile, I feel as if the whole world is smiling. Maybe that's because she is my world. She doesn't know this, but I stole her baby teeth. But they are not enough.

4. The Way She Lights Up A Room - I was once in a dark room, full of hurt, despair and anguish. Surrounding me were folks who had been through the worst, seen great loss and felt unbelievable hardship. Then Lady B walked into the room, and that all was forgotten. The cavalcade of sufferers and myself started to leap about with glee. The cries of sorrow turned to cries of ecstasy, for we did not know what we had done to deserve such a wonderful privilege. She doesn't know this, but I stole a picture of her at that moment. But it is not enough to comfort me during her absence.

3. The Way She Makes Me Feel Inside - When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary. When troubles come, and my heart burdened be. Then I am still, and sit there in the silence, until she comes, and sits a while with me. You see, she raises me up, so that I can walk on mountains. She raises me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong, only when I am on her shoulders. She raises me up, to more than I can be. She doesn't know this, but this song was actually written for her. Yet it's lyrics do not capture the essence of her essence.

2. Her Elegance - She certainly deserves the "Lady" that is in her name. She is like a fawn of the meadows. She is like a dragon, flying in a summer breeze. She never wears anything less fancy than her best evening gown, and her hair is always perfect. Lady B eats her dessert with the proper fork, and stirs her coffee with the proper spoon. She knows how to discuss political issues of the day in any of the 5 major world languages. She doesn't know this, but I am learning all these languages, so I can come up with more ways to express myself to her. I'm also inventing my own language, that only she and I will share. But I've learned that words cannot convey my feelings.

1. Her Love - Lady B has no spite in her. She does not waste time holding grudges. Many have tried to enrage her for the sake of pure science, but it is impossible. No matter what you do to her, she will overlook it for a greater purpose. This quality of hers, although far from me now, eases my heart. Her love is good enough.

Top 6 Wedding Moments I've Had

2009-06-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

6) Terrible Songs- I dont know why every middle age woman who can play D G A on guitar decides they must perform at a wedding. At a wedding on the weekend a lady played while the couple was signing the registery. She proceeds to drop her mike, forget the words, and nearly crys in a train wreck attempt to perform. I wish someone would gently tell her maybe its not her time. The killer was she peforms again at the reception and proceeds to sing a depressing song about how the bride almost died at birth. Like I said, a train wreck.

5) The Casual Approach- While working at Homewood in the summer of 2007 I was invited to a wedding at the nd of summer. I really had no nice clothes to wear. I proceeded to wear shorts and a $12 button shirt from Old Navy. The groom loved me for it and I think the bride was ok, however, the brides mother was less than impressed. I could see in the receving line up that she judged me before I met her because of my questianble wedding attire. I later came to the conclusion that she is scary crazy.

4) The Wedding Road Trip_ Last summer going to Calgary was probably one of the biggest gong shows. We drove through the night in a '87 Volvo to Calgary and it was a grind. While in the other car there was a couple who came but were broken up. They wanted to keep up the appearance of being together so it made the whole weekend a little uncomfortable. While in Calgary I got a ticket for riding the C train without a ticket and the wedding just brought on more shenigens. Perhaps the most memorable thing I saw was my friend drinking from 2 wine bottles at once and that pretty much summed up the gong show weekend. However, it was fun none the less.

3) Being Late for Weddings- The wedding on the weekend I was at my friend and I thought it started at 330 when it really started at 3. As we walk in at 315 we figure we have lots of time but in reality were already late. We run past the groom and his groomsmen and wish them good lucl as the brides mon yells at us to get to our seats. Everything worked out and we werent the latest people there either.

2) CLA Weddings- Nothing is more classic than a CLA wedding. The classic ceremony in the ugly former orange pews of the sanctuary and then a stand up reception in the gym with finger food. What more is there to say other than the fact I cant imagine a place more unatrractive for a wedding. Im sorry, it had to be said.

1) The Quotes- Weddings bring about some of the greatest lines said. For instance telling the best man at the wedding that women and homosexuals drink wine with non-alcholic punch in them. Perhaps the greatest quote Ive ever heard was from a good friend of mine. While watching a slide show at a wedding and listening to the music people were emotional. I asked my friend if she was crying. She responded by saying, "We're not crying cause were sad, we're crying because were single." Pure Gold.

Top Six Dumb Things Boys Have Said To Me

2009-05-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

I haven’t had good luck with guys. There were a few years there where the only guys who liked me were…well, guys that Jesus loves but I wasn’t all that in to. Here are a few experiences that I have grown to appreciate.

6. The Pizza Order – Once when I was working at a pizza place a guy came in to place a take out order. He said to me, “I’d like a large pepperoni pizza and your phone number. Please”. I didn’t give him my phone number.

5. The Grad Date – When I was in Grade 12 this guy asked me to grad. I didn’t really know what to say, honestly I didn’t want to go with him, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go with anyone. After I told him that I didn’t know what to say he said “Don’t worry, you can take the weekend to think about it, I just didn’t want you to have to go alone”. Thanks.

4. The Dutch Treat – this one didn’t happen to me, it happened to my sister, but I thought it was worth mentioning. My dear sister Jess went out for sushi with a guy once. When he got to the restaurant he said to her, “I just spent my last $7 on gas, so you’re going to have to get this one”. I understand that gas is expensive, but if you’re going out and you need gas maybe you can borrow a few dollars from a friend? I don’t know, just a thought.

3. The One I Don’t Have a Title For – I went to high school with this guy who didn’t like me. I really liked him but I guess I just ticked him off. Our first year out of high school we both did this one year program at Summit Pacific College. We went on a retreat the first weekend and I figured we should figure out our relationship before the year went horribly wrong. I told him that I didn’t care if he liked me as long as he treated me with respect. His answer? “I really want to like you, I just can’t do it”! We talked about this conversation a few months ago – he’s blocked it from his memory and asked me to forgive him. I said yes.

2. The First Time I Was Asked Out – this is a good one. It happened over MSN. It was two weeks before my 16th birthday and I was talking to a boy who was a grade younger than me from school. He told me he wanted to go out with me and I said no ( I said it nicer than just “no” but it would take up too much room to write it all out) he asked me to give him one good reason why I wouldn’t go out with him and I gave him three. 1) I’m older than you, 2) I barely even know you and 3) I don’t have feelings for you. He replied with, You’re not that much older than me, you probably know me better than anyone I know and we can work on that last one. When he persisted I told him that he’d have to ask my parents’ permission before I said yes, ‘Okay, but just to warn you, parents love me’. The next day at school he asked me if I would say yes if my parents said yes, I told him no and that was finally the end of it.

1. The Pizza Delivery Guy – This is the story you all have been waiting for. I worked at a pizza place for 4 years. For part of that time I worked with a guy, let’s call him Jimmy. Jimmy was about 30 years old and he delivered pizza. He started asking me a lot about the Bible and Jesus and all that good stuff and I was excited to share. Then one day he came in to work and told me he had a present for me. He handed me a box and told me not to open it until I got home. Luckily my boss sent me to the store to pick up some lettuce and I took my purse along. On the way I opened the box and a ring dropped out. It was a sparkly mood ring that said ‘I (heart) you’ on it. There was also a letter inside. ‘Dearest Angel…” I stuffed the box back into my purse, bought the lettuce, went back to work and promptly told my boss I wasn’t feeling well. I began the walk home, reading the letter. I don’t remember it word for word but here is a pretty good paraphrase of some of the best parts.

“Dearest Angel,

From the moment I saw you I loved you. When I saw your penmanship I fell even deeper in love…If you were to love me back I would be the luckiest man on earth. We are like two ducks floating on a lotus pond, or two dragons floating in the summer breeze, that is what I dream for us…”

There was more but I don’t remember it. The best part was he signed it with his email address and phone number and the post statement said, “Do Not (not was underlined three times) tell anyone about this”. No kidding don’t tell anyone about the 30 year old proclaiming his love for his 17 year old co-worker!

Top 6 Debunked Lies That Cartoons Taught Me

2009-05-12T22:45:00.000-07:00

6. Cataclysms don't precede a moment of digestion. If something major happens, like a large explosion or a revelation of one's own origin, you do not get a two-minute commercial to let it settle. And for the really big ones, the words "To Be Continued..." don't appear at the bottom of the screen, giving you a week's recluse from the problem.

5. Living with your friends and having crazy adventures is not as fun as it sounds. Most of the time, the only enemy you want to fight once your friends move in are the friends themselves. And not in the "you-pretended-to-be-my-friend-but-secretly-were-the-enemy-all-along-man-what-a-great-plot-twist" sort of way. Just the really annoying way.

4. Animals don't talk.

3. You can't hide your identity just by wearing a mask around your eyes. You most likely have to have something that covers your entire face. Probably your hair too.

2. If you accidentally run off a cliff, you can't maintain anti-gravity just by not looking down.

1. If you really want something but you just can't get it, don't keep trying. Let it go, man. Let it go.

Top 6 Songs from my New Employment Album

2009-05-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

So here are the top 6 most anticipated songs from my new album of covers tune about working called "Nurseryland or CT and Everything in Between"

6) Card Denied- Cover of Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch
5) Clearance- Cover of Changes by David Bowie
4) Workers in Langley- Cover of Lovers in Japan by Coldplay
3) A Homewood Fairytale- Cover of A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers
2) Stock it Like it's Hot- Cover of Drop it Like it's Hot by Snoop Dog
1) Out of My Way (I Don't Want to Pay)- Cover of Light My Way (Ultraviolet) by U2

Top Six Things That Creep Me Out

2009-05-03T17:35:00.000-07:00

Something that should be known is I have a lot of quirky things about me. There are things that really creep me out and maybe some of them are dumb, but here we go.

6) When People Chew Loudly – It’s just gross. It really bothers me. Seriously, learn to chew with your mouth closed. Enough said.

5) The Bottom of the Ocean – Not that bad, but I do not like the feeling of all the gross crud at the bottom of the ocean or the lake. Sand is fine, rocks are fine, weeds are not. Maybe I’m just afraid of the fish or that there’s going to be something that cuts me. I don’t like it.

4) Animals – They are just really creepy! You never know what they are thinking and they don’t know any words so how can they even think at all? AND you never know what they are going to do. I don’t know, they’re creepy!

3) Milk – Okay, I like milk products. I love ice cream and I love cheese and milk and all that good stuff. But seriously, milk products are creepy; especially when they come from other people’s fridges. One time my friend Miguel took a Fruit Loop out of my cereal bowl and I almost refused to eat the rest of it. I don’t have an explanation for it. The worst thing would be sharing a spoon when you’re eating ice cream or yoghurt (especially yoghurt!). I’m really fine sharing food but ice cream and yoghurt are a no go…and apples, that’s weird too.

2) Rodents – Sort of like the first one…but seriously, ew. Rodents are gross. They eat disgusting things and live in places you don’t want them to live. And what the heck is with the surprise of them. You never really expect to find a mouse, it’s always a surprise and you’re like “Holy Crap, there’s a mouse!” Last summer I was sleeping in my cabin (at camp) and in the middle of the night my friend started freaking out and there was a mouse IN MY BED. NOT COOL. We ended up sleeping in her car for the rest of the night.

1) Farm Animals – These are on a whole other level from regular animals. There is something about farm animals that make my skin crawl. They are smelly and dirty and sometimes you eat them. It is SO weird to me to think of meat. I like eating meat but I just can’t think about what it really is. Farm Animals are the worst out of any other types of animals.

Top 6 Songs that are Grinding my Gears Right Now

2009-04-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

6) Boom (Black Eyed Peas)- First of all my distain for this band runs long and deep in my life. This new "wonder" they came up with is the worst yet. Its essentially a bunch of idiots yelling boom and thinking there legitimate artists. Will I Am is not legitiamite. Anyone who features in A Flo Rider song can automatically be put in the category of "Thinks he's good enough to collabarate but a real artist wouldnt collabarate with him so he had to go with Flo Rida." But perhaps the most horrifying thing is the fact they're opening for U2 in October, I'm already working on insuhlts I can yell at tghem from my seat.

5) Spin Me Right Round (Flo Rida)- Whats the deal with people trying to bring back mediocore 80's songs? They were sort of cool then but they're definetly not cool now. Its like the industry got together and said," What if we put beats and rap to these 80's songs? We wont have to be creative because clearly we suck at that and we can look bad ass doing it." I dont know where to start with this song other than giving it 2 thumbs down. Good work Flo Rida, only 2 posts and you have been mentioned in both.

4) Most of Hill Song United (Hill Song United)- This has been brewing for a long time and if your offended by this Im not sorry. I fully support what they do and the message, I just want to hear it done in a different way. Im tired of the long drawn out solo's and the silence where the crowd is singing like its a generational anthem. Also, what about this poetic genius, "I will read my bible and pray everyday." Im pretty sure they have a music school and stuff in Australia and the best they can come up with is that line. Im pretty sure Sunday school children are taught that phrase from the age of three. Im sorry Hillsong, support the message but the finsih isn't there for me.

3) Know Your Enemy (Green Day)- Alright Green Day, you've been found out, you just dont have the chops anymore. You started off so well with early stuff like Dookie, it was fun and different in a pop bands world. However, American Idiot? What were you trying to pull, the appeasement of kids who are sort of angsty and pretend to hate George Bush? How much did you pay the people at the Grammy's to bestow you with far too many honors for the album that was terrible. Then you release Know Your Enemy, its excactly the same but perhaps even more toned down and perhaps a little crappier, I think the only enemy you have is time, and its catching up with your music at the speed of sound.

2) Kiss me Through the Phone (Soulja Boy)- Terrible artist, has one popular song and dance number. Put this one trick pony out to stud (Probably with Men). Dont try and show an "Emotioanl Side" about missing your "Shorty." Do everyone a favour and fade back into your 15 mins of fame.

1) Africa (Karl Wolf)- So remember that band Sky who had that hit "Love Song" a few years ago. Well the lead singer is back covering another marginal 80's song. I don't know where to start. First of all, the music video is the guy on some beach (Not in Africa) trying to chase after a girl who keeps eluding him. If he's on an island how does he not get her, there is no one else there for her to get with. Wait maybe its his fat rapper buddy who's wearing a San Francisco 49'ers jersey with Terrle Owens number on the back. This version of the song is offensice to the ears and mind. Thanks Canadian music industry for producing amother "Gem." Do you know what really grinds my gears, this song. If I ever meet Karl Wolf in real life here is my promise. I will tell him to go to Africe with his rapper buddy andsee what that continent is really like, punch him in the face, and proceed to run so his rapper buddy won't cap me.

Top 6 Similes To Use When Ending A Relationship

2009-04-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

My good friend "mo' money mo' problems" already posted a similar list on what to DO when you break up with somebody. To support that ambition, I would like to provide a list of what to SAY when you break up with somebody. Combine the two entries together, and you will be fully prepared for any break-up you want to pull off.

6. "Baby, the truth is that opening up a relationship with you has been like opening Pandora's Box. I've released hatred, envy, strife, scorn, rejection, pain, suffering and all that is malicious into my life. But don't worry, baby, there's still hope left in the box. Hope for today - the day I close the box for good."

5. "Baby, the truth is that appeasing you has been like Chamberlain's appeasement of Hitler, with more disastrous results."

4. "Baby, the truth is that adding you into my life has been like adding that female ninja turtle into the live action TV show - very ill-advised."

3. "Baby, the truth is that seeing you regularly has allowed me to see what is truly beautiful in this world. Other women."

2. "Baby, the truth is that talking with you is just like talking with myself. Both are signs that I'm going insane."

1. "Baby, the truth is that searching for your love was like searching for a summer job. No matter how hard I tried, I always ended up getting screwed."

Top 6 Careers I Should Pursue

2009-03-18T22:54:00.000-07:00

Hello dearest readers. Although you only know me as the brilliance behind Stop Six Records, you might be surprised that there is much more you could learn about me. I'm not going to tell you what, because I don't really want you to know what. But, I have successes and struggles just like 75% of other people. My main struggle now is figuring out what my career should be. Thus, I will muse about it on my favorite blog.

6. Astronaut - I wrote a good physics midterm a few weeks back, and being a space cadet has always been a cool thought. I figure though that once you look down on the earth from the moon it gets boring just like everything else in life. And the chances of being picked for a space mission are pretty slim, last I checked. The only advantage would be if the earth was destroyed while I was in space. Then I could proceed with my own galactic civilizations!

5. Writer - I love writing Stop Six Records, but really, it doesn't pay much. That's one of the main problems with careers - you always need to be making money with them, otherwise it's sort of counterproductive. And I tried just writing once, and got very frustrated. Then I decided on the next career path...

4. Doctor - The thought of being able to heal people is awesome. Hence why I started down this path. But, my grades aren't what they should be. It's not that I'm taking this as an obstacle I don't care to overcome. Rather, for the amount of work I'm putting into it, I'm really not getting the results I should. Science is not my thing. It wasn't in high school, and it isn't now. It's something I could do decently if I really stuck with it, but it's not my thing.

3. Lawyer - I'm a great arguer. Also, I would consider myself unrivaled at public speaking. Arrogant, I know - but I'm that too. Law is thus interesting, but I wonder if it's just another new idea to get me excited for a few weeks.

2. Actor - It would be fun. Real fun. But we all know the logistics of it just don't make sense.

1. Spider-Man - But I would need to remember that with great power, comes great responsibility.

Top 6 reasons I'm Concerned About a 40 Something Lady Moving Into My House

2009-03-01T18:32:00.000-08:00

6) Kitchen Use- Ill be honest, Im a man on the go, I don't have a lot of time to do dishes and stuff like that so I leave them for a few days. Im concerned that I will cause a controversy with my dishes and I'll have to reform my ways. I am a man who likes things to be a certain way. There is also potential for things to be moved around in the kitchen and Im going to get home at 1130 one night and Ill see my George Foreman Grill will be turned into a scone maker.

5) Awkward Interactions- It will happen, I'm probably going to run into her from time to time and I'm going to have make conversation with someone who is perhaps the most extreme of my bracket of age and sex etc. Ill ask her how school is going while I make dinner and I'm sure I'll run out of things to say and there will be a silence and I'll probably fill the silence by asking a stupid question or giving her too much information about myself. Not Cool.

4) Dress Code- When I wake up in the morning I have not much on, mostly boxers. I believe a universal right of every man should be to walk around in a towel in his own house. I fear this privilige will be lost. I don't want to cause anyone to stumble, that wouldn't be right of me. What terrifies me even more is the possibility that she will take this right of wearing only a towel and I will walk out of my door and look down the hall and then pass out.

3) Noise Factor- I enjoy plucking the strings of a guitar once in a while and I'm hoping that this can continue. If I lose my musical outlet I will probably turn to mush with the kind of work I have this semester.

2) Complaints- Im just generally concerned that a mature female student and myself will be the odd couple, minus the laughter and physical threats. However, verbal complaints are a possibility and unfortunately I will not react well to these. It might be wrong, but I already have a pre-formed opinion of mature students (especially at Uvic) and I feel like if there are complaints filed it will only continue these opinions of mature students in general.

1) Bathroom Use- I worked at a camp for a long time and I had to clean a lot of bathrooms and I despised cleaning women's bathrooms because I found many awful things that I don't want to discuss. There are many things you could come up with I'm sure in your own mind. this would upset me to no end and I dont think I could use the bath. But the greatest fear by far is the possibility of someone being in the bathroom with the door unlocked and once again would result in me passing out.

Top 6 Songs I want to Learn (Mostly for the Ladies)

2009-02-07T16:53:00.002-08:00

6) Orange Sky (Alexi Murdoch)- I know this song sort of, the chords are C&G but theres some crazy guitar tapping as well. I think I mostly want to learn this song purely for the fact that his voice is so inspiring, and the lyrics could melt the coldest heart.

5) Tears in Heaven (Eric Clapton)- Not much to say about this one. I will guarntee you this, if you start playing that song in any public space by the 1st verse there will be at least 5 girls crowding around and staring intently into your eyes.

4) Dont Wait (Dashboard Confessional)- I know its cheesy but nothing says, "Girl, I know you've been hurt in the past, but I'm not the past, I'm the future," better than a dashboard ballad.

3) Black Ballon (Goo Goo Dolls)- All you need to slay some ladies with a guitar is a gut wrenching song with rich accoustic tones.

2) Fix You (Coldplay)- The lyrics are fantastic and Im pretty sure the song has been used in emotional, really get to you kind of movies. Your riding high if you can belt out the bridge. Its pretty much saying let me be the one to get you through, as long as you dont have baggage.

1) Secret Garden (Bruce Springsteen)- This is one of my favourite songs. If you haven't heard it you need to its a treat. Piano and organ thrown in with a saxaphone solo means you cant do much better. Especially useful if a lady is distant but you know if she warmed up to you it would be lights out.

Top 6 Rejected Top 6 Lists

2009-01-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

We here at top 6 only want to put out the best quality lists for our faithful readers (mainly ourselves). Many people probably don't realize what that means. Not only does it entail spending hours dreaming up the glory that you see posted on our page, it also means that we have to scrap a lot ideas that just don't cut it. Here's a list of 6 topics that never made it onto their own list of 6.

6. Top 6 Surprisingly Sexual Parts of the Human Body
This would have been a good one, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that pretty much every part of the body has already been sexified. If you can give me one that hasn't, then you can start your own list with it.

5. Top 6 Lego Pieces
We could rank them, but we all know that the real fun happens when they all work together.

4. Top 6 Things I Did Today
I don't presume that any six things I do in any given day is worth reading about. Maybe six things in my life. Maybe.

3. Top 6 Numbers on a Die
It all depends on what you need to get that Yhatzee.

2. Top 6
The title was too ambiguous.

1. Top 6 Cats Named George
This was going to be a fun one, but it would be hard to distinguish between them, seeing as how they are all cats and all named George.

2008:Top 6

2009-01-15T23:55:00.000-08:00

6. The Monthly Mixes. (See number one)
5. The Summer. First summer in B.C., Michelle's wedding, a 6 month celebration, skim boarding, golf carts, a fabulous summer job and a million other things that made it great.
4. The Family Times.
3. The Unexpecteds. ie: surprises like Cirque du Soleil, mint green shoes, spontaneous trips to Westport, Crystal Castles concert, those northern lights the camera I've been dreaming of...
2. The Spanish. Four months of things like milking a cow in Nicaragua, swimming with sting rays in Costa Rica and dancing in the streets of Habana, Cuba with people I will likely never see again and never forget.
1. The Love. (See two posts down)

Top 6 Moments of 2008

2009-01-11T23:09:00.000-08:00

6) Man Sailing Trip- So the story goes me and 4 very good friends of mine got payed by Camp Homewood to go on a sailing trip in February. If we didn't have the connections, we would usually have to pay between $1200-$1500 for the course but instaed we payed $60 for the course. The week went as follows. Sail during the days, study for a bit, hit up an obscure pub at night and talk about the day and enjoy the elite company we were in. Best of all, at the end, we all became certified skippers and I passed with a score of 91%. Great week with great guys and extremely useful for the rest of my ife.

5) Moving to Victoria- I dont know if I would call this a great memory and experience but it has been crucial none the less. I decided to come back and face my fear of coming back and going to school in Victoria. Im not saying its perfect, there is still a long way to go and I dont know if Im going to even be here next year but I took a leap of faith and am still living here. Thats an accomplishment by itself.

4) Growing a Pair- So this one is more of a ridicolous personal victory but Ive always have had problems sealing the deals with the lady folks. Finally this summer I had the guts to talk to a girl and tell her, "Hey, I dig your style, lets go on a date." Not excactly those words but the same idea. Unfortunately it didnt last too long, maybe a goal for 2009 is to step past growing a pair and step into maintaning "the pair" for more than 2 months. However, I did have the guts to do something about it to which Im very proud.

3) California Trip- This trip was fantastic on so many levels. First of all the people were fantastic once again. 4 rad people who were all chill and we all got along super well and all had the same goals for the trip. The adventure of driving for 24hrs straight and being super tired but enjoying it none the less. We hit up San Francisco and LA and we saw so many great sights. We stayed in sketchy hostels and we also ate for about $4 a day. It wasnt healthy but it was delicious. I think the best memory was being in Disneyland and being 20yrs old with your friends. I cant really describe it but it was so fun and hilarious. So many random memories I sont have the energy to write but it was a great trip I wont soon forget and another is possibly in the works.

2) Being CIT Leader- This summer for 2 months I was the leader of 10 guys aged 14-16. I worked with them everyday and shared so many good moments with them. It was a real chance to pour into their lives and share wisdom and knowledge with them. Even though it feels like I could have done a better job I really believe that God spoke into their lives. These 2 months were also full of challenges working with different personalities and people made it even more rewarding when it was done. I really believe this experience has confirmed my plans for the future.

1) The Beartooth Man Trip- This trip is where I became a real man. 3 good friends and I planned a trip to climb a 6,000ft mountain 30km up Powell Lake. The canoe trip was epic in itself with the 2nd day being pounding rain and me and my friend nearly getting swamped in high winds and possibly drowning. Once we got to camp we immediately started heading up to our base amp about 1500ft up to the snow line. The next day we departed very early and tried to find a route up the mountain. We tried steep routes and dangerous terrains to no luck. However we couldnt find it with over 10ft of snow in all directions. After witnessing avalanches close to us I realized how insinifigant we are compared to nature. After feeling defeated we hiked back down and I then spent the worst night of my life at the bottom. Rain poured for 15hrs straight and I went into my hammock at 7pm and didnt get out till 7am. However I did get out to fix my fly that flew open at 4am. Though we didn't succed I felt so close to nature and the guys who I was with. We all agreed at New Years it wasnt always the funnest but that night at the bottom was our top moment of 2008.

2008: The Top 6

2009-01-06T11:12:00.000-08:00

6. The Senior Art Show - I was asked to be a guest artist at the Senior Show last spring. I took it as an opportunity to experiment with different media, and hung site-specific light-box installations in the underground parking lot. Recently it was featured on the back cover of the university alumni magazine. I felt honored to be a part of such a great show that saw almost 2,000 people visit.

5. The Music - music and I got along really well in 2008. The vinyl collection expanded greatly, a life goal of seeing Radiohead was fulfilled, and I started to write concert reviews for Beyond Robson, so I get to go to shows for free now! Top shows include Radiohead, Fleet Foxes x2, Cut Copy/The Presets, and Yelle.

4. The Traditions - Canim Lake holds so many memories, and my 7th time there was as good as ever. I made a foam surfboard, shot guns, and gutted a fish. There is no place like Canim to make you feel like a true Canadian.

3. The Close Calls - Bethany and I drove to Alberta for a wedding. We rode bicycles in fields, stopped for wildlife, and unexpectedly saw the northern lights when we made a wrong turn. I can't believe I almost didn't go.

2. The Travels - The latter part of my summer was spent on a trip to Colombia and Peru. Traveling is always amazing, but to do it with my Dad was extra special (especially when he is fluent in Spanish).

1. The Love

Top 6 Experiences of 2008

2009-01-05T22:04:00.000-08:00

I haven't thought too much about the order of this but I believe it's an accurate summary of 2008's highs (and, connected with them, lows). This past year will go down in history as a landmark for me. In the form of Stop Six, I shall explain.

6. The Downtime - After finishing a glory semester at a school on a hill, I decided to take some time off. I was able to disguise it as just part of the program I had taken (and at first, that was the reason) but really it was so I could have time to think. I also watched a lot of Lost. And I did a lot of writing. But most importantly, this downtime taught me how much I hate downtime. Don't get me wrong - I understand the need to relax as much as anyone. Yet I used to think that I would be happiest with nothing to do but to sit back and enjoy life with friends. That's not true. I need challenge. I need goals. Fortunately, the rest of my experiences of this past year set me up for those.

5. The Creation of Stop Six - Silly, I know. It's not that Stop Six itself is that meaningful to me. Rather, it's the fact that I have an outlet of writing. Most of my ventures in writing (like during the downtime) were far too serious. I'm a person who always needs to have a venue to express himself through writing. I would try to write the greatest composition known to man. Needless to say, it sucked the fun out of the experience. Stop Six has taught me that it's not how good you write, it's how much you enjoy writing it.

4. The Dynamic Duo - I went to my friend's cabin again this summer. Usually, I go up with a group of four or more of my other friends. This time, it was just me and said friend. I was worried that it would make for a fairly boring time, but it proved to be quite the opposite. I had more time to just chill, I didn't have to share all the fun stuff with other people and I bonded well with the one friend. And there were girls.

3. The Haters and Lovers - I had a terrible job this summer. I got no respect, shifts, or money. I wrote an angry Stop Six entry about it (one that I believe will go down in Stop Six history). It was not a good experience at all. In the limited sense at least. What this prompted was one of the best experiences of my year. It was ironic that the job that I wanted for so long was easily one of the worst I ever had. It led me to re-evaluate what exactly I wanted in life, and to see that things are rarely as you hope them to be. I quit that job and moved on to what was the best job I ever had. Why was it so good? Because I got everything that was missing - I got respect, shifts, money, and in the words of my manager - love.

2. The End of An Era - I'm not planning on going back to that school on the hill. I had many reasons to leave and not return through my years there. None of those were good, however. But the one I've left on is very, very good. And my memories from that school are equally good. Much of my past few years of life were defined by that school, and my last few weeks there were the perfect ending for it. It was like your favorite TV show coming to an end - so many great times, but to keep it going would just be an injustice. It was time for it to end, and the season finale was fantastic.

1. New Life, New Direction - Tomorrow I will officially begin at my old/new school. I used to get most excited for the video games I would get at Christmas, or seeing a pretty girl the next day at school. Now my child-like excitement is directed towards a new career path. I never thought that would be possible. The above-listed experiences all played a role in my discovery of what it was I wanted to do with my life. This is my challenge. This is my goal. Few things feel this good.

Good plot twists are not changes. They are a revelation of the unexpected direction the story was heading all along. This year, my life saw many a good plot twist.

Top 6 Albums I Discovered In 2008

2009-01-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

6. People In Planes - As Far As The Eye Can See
I'm not fully sure that I first discovered this album in 2008. Even if it was 2007, it was probably close enough to still count. A very memorable rock album that mixes the tried, tested and true with some things I can't quite put my finger on.

5. Radiohead - Kid A
This past summer, I wrote a blog on my Radiohead experiment. The results found OK Computer as their best album. I've changed my mind. Kid A embodies Radiohead better than any other album. Also, I've come to accept that fact that I will never fully understand why Radiohead is the greatest band ever. Unrivaled in musicianship and ingenuity, that's for sure. But they're pushed more to the top because the latter attribute is also what our society holds as the highest virtue.

4. Cold War Kids - Robbers and Cowards
I went to see the Killers a few weeks ago, and was struck with the most pleasant of surprises - Cold War Kids were also on the bill. Even more surprising was that they looked nothing like the odd-ball rockers I had them pegged for. They were all fairly clean-cut young men, with the lead singer looking like Conan O'Brien. That's always a good thing. And of course the show was awesome, because Cold War Kids does what music is all about - they write, and play good songs. I guess this write-up is more about the show than the album, but the reason I liked that show was the same reason I love this album.

3. The Killers - Day and Age
I wasn't the biggest fan of the last bit of this album at first, and I'm still not. But I'm just liking the first eight songs more and more. It's too bad that the Killers got to famous and started being billed as the potential world's biggest band, because it plastered them with so many expectations. They're are not and will not be a band that is all things for all people. Just like this album. It's got rock, it's got dance, it's got jazz and who knows what else. But it certainly is not a hit machine in the traditional sense. There's a distinction between musicians who sell albums and musicians who sell songs. Day and Age works better as the full piece, which is not condusive to Big Band-ness. But I like it better that way.

2. Keane - Perfect Symmetry
Sweet, sweet Keane. Even though they are getting bigger, they are still a hidden gem. Keane is catchy and you like them when you first listen to them. Yet people who give this band a whole bunch of listens find more and more treasure each playthrough. Perfect Symmetry was very close to being the best album for me this year. But it does not function well enough on its own. It's missing Under the Iron Sea, just like Under the Iron Sea was missing Perfect Symmetry. Coupling the two together could be the culmatively greatest album of my life, but Under the Iron Sea is a few years to old for me to do that. It would just be unfair.

1. Coldplay - Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends/Prospekt's March EP
However, both of the above albums came out this year, and were coupled in the same collection. Just like Keane's two recent albums, these two together could be culmatively the greatest album of my life. There will always be temptation to say that nothing can top Rush of Blood to the Head, but there would always be the temptation to think my life was awesome in grade 4 when I'm really just forgetting all the hardships that childhood had. There is a sure superior quality to Coldplay's work on these albums. They did a lot of different things, but it still sounds like good ol' Coldplay. Coupled with the new songs on Prospekt's March, this epic is one that I will look back on this album for the rest of my life. Probably listen to it, too.

Top 6 Albums of 2008

2009-01-01T23:32:00.000-08:00

1. Crystal Castles - Self Titled
2. Fleet Foxes - Self Titled
3. Lykke Li - Youth Novels
4. Coldplay - Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends
5. Hercules and Love Affair - Self Titled
6. Deerhoof - Offend Maggie

Top 6 Records that I've Discovered or have been Released in 2008

2008-12-18T11:13:00.000-08:00

6) Against Me- New Wave

5) David Gray- White Ladder

4) Athelete- Beyond The Neighbourhood

3) The Killers- Day and Age

2) Keane- Perfect Symmetry

1) Coldplay- Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends

Top 6 Break Ups

2008-12-08T16:46:00.000-08:00

Before I write this i have not done any of these but after discussing these scenario's with people I believe these would be hialrious break ups, So I'm proably once again going to sound like a jerk.

6) The Non-Verbal Break Up- Nothing would suck more than to be texting the lady and getting a response back saying were through. At that point my phone would be half way across the room in a rage against technology. Unlike Kip's song "I Love Technology" I would change it to "I despise Technology" and punch something, proably causing damage.

5) The It's You Break Up- There's the cliche its not you it's me break up. But what if you were so fed up and unimpressed with the person you said, "Ill be straight up here, it's you." What a moment that would be, I would give a standing ovation to whoever utter those words. Maybe after even throw in a, "To be honest, I feel like I'm a real catch."

4) The Jerry MacGuire Break Up- We all know the infamous Secret Garden scene (love the song) where whats her face said, "You had me at Hello." What if you were to reverse that and be in the pouring rain saying to her, "I was excited to say goodbye." Then instead of embracing her, walk off into the distance with your head held high saying, "Who needs Tom Cruise and what's her face, I've got other options."

3) The Singing Break Up- If I was a up and coming muscian and the girl I was with was purely there for the rise to the top, that would suck. That is until you dedicate a song to your lady on stage and say, "This next song is called, Were Through" play a few notes and express your feelings through the chords of G, D, and C. Once she gets the point make your next song 'Return of the Mack" nothing says your over her like an early 1990's R&B song.

2) The Zodiac Break Up- In any marina you'll see small inflatable boats that have little engines on the back that allows you to explore land and gives you the freedom of a small boat. The freedom you'll gain after this break up will be monumental. The premise of this one is you and the lady are standing on a dock and you break the news, saying it's not going to work out. At this point another person comes to the dock on a zodiac and picks you up. Here you crank the motor and plain into the distant sunset leaving her wondering what could have happened after that epic exit.

1) The Face Push Break Up- My personal favourite. This will only work if the person your with is in fact one of the worst humans of all time. Preferably extremely whiney or controlling. The premise is you are walking towards the person and from a distance you can hear them talking about something you apparently did wrong or how you are an idiot somehow. Once you are within a couple feet of the person you extend your hand and as they start to rip into you because of your close proximity you put your hand directly into the face and push them aside. You keep walking and never talk to the person again. Brilliant.

Top 6 Songs That I Would Write If I Were A Songwriter

2008-12-08T00:05:00.001-08:00

Like all songs, these are about love. Like all love songs I understand, these love songs are about frustrated love.

6. I Want to Love You But You Don't Love Me
5. I Want to Love You But You Can't Spell So Well
4. I Want to Love You But You Weigh More Than Me
3. I Want to Love You But I Just Can't Love A Beast
2. I Want to Love You But You Have No Future
1. I Want to Love You But You're A Pagan

Top 6 Places Not In British Columbia

2008-12-01T22:02:00.001-08:00

As promised, here is the sequel. I hope this one isn't a disappointment.

6. The House of the Ninja Turtles - I saw a lot of touristy things when I backpacked around Europe. In fact, I saw so many touristy things that by the time I got to Paris, I refused to go up the Eiffel Tower and enter the Louvre. A lot of people would think me dumb for it, but you don't know how boring even the most historically rich artifacts can get after a while.

But the Vatican museum could never get boring to me. I could spend months with a tour guide, asking more and more questions about all the artifacts that are in there. The trip through the museum also ends with the Sistine Chapel, which is probably the single greatest work of art not in British Columbia.

5. Infinity Beach of Eternity - I grew up in Brazil for almost four years. I also almost drowned twice while I was there. Those strong Brazilian currents were too much for my seven-year-old self. Fortunately I was saved by my parents both times.

But that's not why this beach, or the beaches in Brazil in general, are one of the greatest places not in British Columbia. Aside from almost taking my life, I owe a lot to the Brazilian beaches. There were so many of them that taking a trip to the beach did not constitute fighting with crowds all day. They are endless sand, and as serene as those screen savers you can get. Those were beaches. And those are the reason I can never enjoy the British Columbian beach.

4. The Room of Darkness - I went to Africa with a good friend of mine. The trip was all filled with drama and I was very incapable at dealing with it. One of the ways I managed, however, was to sit in the living room of the place we were staying and listen to music with my friend. We were the only two in that house, so we could get away with it. The generator of the complex we stayed at went out in the early evening, so we would sit in the perfect darkness to listen, talk and ponder our lives. The place I was in at the time and stage of life made it all the more better.

3. The Germanic Village - Also on my trip to Europe, I was privileged to stay with my uncle, and later a friend's cousin, in tiny villages in Germany. It wasn't the boonies like we would understand in North America. In Europe, many places have the population of one of our cities spread out in tiny villages, all just over the next hill from each other.

The time I spent at these places was peaceful and rejuvenating. Both were especially needed as I was on a very hectic trip.

2. The Jesus Circle - My aunt lives in the Cayman Islands. We went to visit her once. As we were exploring the island, we came to this one cul-de-sac. The road leading into the cul-de-sac led out onto a peninsula and was straddled by palm trees. The cul-de-sac featured a statue of Jesus in the middle. It wasn't the statue, so much as the pristine peninsula that ended perfectly at the edge of the dynamic Cayman ocean that made it the one place I hope to have a house someday. Maybe.

1. Space - I've never been to space. I probably never will be. But there is no place that is cooler and that I would love to go more. That's sort of sad, but at the same time, it's probably good. I know that if I had a chance to go to whenever I wanted, I would soon become underwhelmed by it.

Top 6 Places In British Columbia

2008-11-20T22:26:00.000-08:00

This is not a list of the best cities, towns or neighborhoods in British Columbia. Rather, it is a list of the places that are most meaningful for me. In grade 11 I had a weird socials teacher to taught on the "Spirituality of Place". It was completely out of the scope of what was supposed to be taught, but I did like the main point he had about it. Some places - they just do something for you. Here's a list of the top 6 places that just do it for me.

6. The Lower Floor of the Chiliwack-ian Cousins - I grew up on a steady diet of Saved by the Bell and Archie Comics. I always thought that high school would be like that. I also grew up fairly close with some cousins that were significantly older than me. While I was still young enough to believe the delusions of high school that were presented to me in mainstream media, I had two cousins, that I thought were very cool, in high school. So when we went over to their house, it was awesome.

And it was a great house too. Out in Chiliwack - a town that I've always liked because of its peaceable nature. They had a trampoline that I would spend hours on pretending I was Spider-Man. My cousin let me play with his Ninja Turtles actions figures and his original Nintendo. We played a lot of Risk and the Game of Life. He also had a waterbed. Some of my fondest memories were of sitting in that basement, watching movies with both of our families. I always percieved the place as having a peace about it.

5. The Waters of Eternity - There was a crappy old rec centre where my family used to live. We got some sort of membership there that allowed us to go swimming for a dollar on weeknights. My parents would do laps, or some other kind of exercise. I, on the other hand, did what I did best. I got lost in my imagination. I would swim in the deep end, emulating all sorts of heroes. I would think about the people at school, the girls I "loved", the dreams I had, the trials and tribulations. The pool was usually fairly empty, but it wouldn't have mattered. I got lost in the water there. Now if you see me swimming by myself in a pool, you will know I'm just doing what I always did. Water has continually been a refresher for me.

4. The Pinnacle of Pre-Teen Angst - This was enjoyed in one friend's room. There was something about his room that I just liked. Maybe it was all the conversations we had. He also lived in a smaller town, and I loved the coziness of the place. We'd always talk about the girls he liked and at one point, even called one. It didn't go too well, but that was okay.

He'd also read his journal with me, and we'd talk about the lamest of things. But, for some reason, it was so much more awesome than that.

3. Don't Touch The Ground, Or He'll Get You! / The Dueling Ring - I have to link these two, since although it's two locations, it's for the same reason.

Firstly, way beyond the age when we could have gotten away with it, my friends and I played grounders on a playground in our neighborhood. We went for hours. After an afternoon of hockey, we'd enjoy the orange sun setting as we chased and dodged all over this playground. Sometimes we'd go late at night. I often cheated.

The hockey was the other part of it. When our school built some hockey courts for the younger students, we were ecstatic. True, we were probably some of the oldest students in the school, but we came to use these courts regardless. Many, many hours were spent facing off against each other in these.

Saturdays so often were a combination of hockey and grounders, followed by watching the Canucks in the evening. It was through these times that I found myself developing the very close friendships that I have with the same guys to this day. Most other guys were dating girls. It's not that we didn't want to; it just didn't happen. But seeing how happy we were without women in our life, maybe we just didn't have the motivation to do it. I really miss those days. Now, we're all too busy to get together like that. Life is good in a different way now. I'll probably be looking back on this moment in the future.

2. Solitary Splendor - I really miss my dorm room. I've only recently begun to realize how much. I had one of the nicest rooms in the school all to myself. I figured at the time that it was just a situation in which I got lucky. Now I see it was a lot more than that. It was the perfect situation. I will always remember sitting on my couch, listening to music and just thinking. My entire world was contained inside that building, and my room was a place for me to just be me. It gave me a chance to figure out who I am, and where I'm going. I would have to say that it was a big reason why I left the school, strange as it may sound. That will probably take more explaining than I'm wanting to do on this blog. But that room - I will remember it as a definite locale of my coming of age.

1. Canim Lake - I have a friend who is too good to me. He does things like take me to his sweet cabin at Canim Lake. I'll make it up to him some day.

The thing with Canim Lake is not just that there's a ton of fun things to do there. It's not just that I go up with a bunch of friends that make the experience all the more awesome, and it's not just the beautiful location. It's what Canim Lake is in my life. I go up whenever I get a break from routine. It's a physical place I return to time and time again to re-orient myself and really do the thinking I need to. Every year I go up, it's a highlight. I wonder how different I would be if I never went up.

Sorry that this blog entry was a lot cheesier than I wanted it to be.

Next blog: Top 6 Places Outside of British Columbia.

Top 6 Moments Spent in Langley this Week

2008-11-17T21:31:00.000-08:00

6) Talking to a certain friend of mine who is on the edge of a relationship. He says he wants to wait for the perfect time to ask her out. I say, "I don't think there is a perfect time, just do it." He replies, "I think we'll make out for awhile and then we'll stop, right in that moment I'll ask if she wants to be my girlfriend."

5) A certain brother of mine with perhaps the greatest quote of the year when talking to a certain other brother. "When your making love to a woman, what do you do with your hands?" PURE GOLD.

4) Playing hockey and realizing I'm not a young man anymore, after not playing hockey for more than a year I realized I don't have the goal scoring touch that I used to. Even though I never really had one. After coming off the ice my buddy says, "Guess it's time to hit the bike after the game." Proably for about a year I'll need to hit that bike.

3) Coming back from Quadra on Sunday and finally being alone. Sitting down on the couch I thought to myself, "Damn it," and made myself a Mr.Donkers.

2) Seeing the new Bond movie. Daniel Craig can pretty much have me anytime he wants like all of the Bond Girls. I just hope that I don't get killed by thugs filling me with oil.

1) Being at a ridicolous lounge where there were a bunch of cougars and older guys. There were 7 or 8 of us sitting there listening to A.D.D, an AC/DC cover band that was alright. However the funniest moment is when my buddy was convinced his drink was stolen. I was ready to fight. However we saw the drink later on that night, when it came flying past my buddies head and almost hitting him. I was also ready to fight him when we decided the stolen drink was the one thrown against the window.

Oh, Langley what will happen in a couple of weeks, hopefully more good stories.

Honorable Mention goes to the Summit Ball hockey fight and Neal "The Real Deal" scoring 7 goals and winning the game by himself.

Top 6 Songs Im Listening to After a Breakup

2008-11-10T12:54:00.000-08:00

So the lady and I parted ways on the weekend and here are the 6 songs I will proably listen to, some serious, some not so much. #4-6 funny, #1-3 Serious

6) Don't Call Me Baby- Kreesha Turner
5) King of Wishful Thinking- Go West
4) Total Eclipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler (Hopefully around a table with a bunch of guys)
3) The Lovers are Losing- Keane (My new theme song for a bit)
2) Orange Sky- Alexi Murdoch
1) One- U2

Hey Hey Hey, Walking Away Now, Walking Away Now, Baby
Listen to #6 and you'll get it.

Top 6 Things I've Realized Not To Do Or Say To Girls or Girlfriends

2008-11-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

As a pre cursor to this I want people to know that a (*) denotes I said or did this to a girlfriend so I won't look like a huge jerk even though this post may seem like I am.

6)(*) Give into a girls demand so easily. For example when riding in a car and a girl asking me I won't date her and a week later I'm dating her means clearly I caved. Perhaps the biggest lesson from this episode in my life was the fact that I shouldn't date a crazy girl, they are bad news.But great for stories later on.

5) Tell a girl to her face that I dont trust her. This requires a back story but i won't tell it on this blog. If your desperate for the story i can tell you in real life. Pretty much I told a lot of my life to this girl which in itself proably isn't the greatest idea unless there is serious potential for a relationship. Needless to say it didn't end up well the day i told her that cause she kept asking if I was angry at her. i sorta was and I told her straight up i couldn't trust her cause she told people stuff. The other thing i remeber about that day is that I bought Coldplay's X&Y album which was decent.

4)(*) Since this happened very recently and is the inspiration of this post it is not rent a depressing movie while hanging out with a girl (especially girlfriend). So on the weekend my GF was here and after some dinner at a friends house we decided to rent a movie. For those of you who have seen the movie trainspotting you will agree it is one of the most depressing movies of all time. However, the soundtrack is kick ass so thats why i wanted to rent it so bad. Being the rad girl she is she agreed to watch it and I'm pretty sure we were both stunned with depression. Any movie with a scene involving a dead baby isn't a good date movie.

3) Believe everything that a girl says who likes you. this isn't so much saying but more doing. If a girl is digging your style but your not feeling the same way there will be many things she says to convince you that she is over that and it's done. this has actually occured a couple of times and needless to say it gets a little tiring/embarassing when it happens more than once. I'm not sure if it makes me angry at them for lying or at me for being a complete clown and believing them more than once. I felt like an undecided voter and the party's wer trying to woo me with the talk of cutting taxes and saying anything to get my vote, or affection.

2) Telling a Girl you like her best friend. This should be a no brainer for most guys. I should have realized this but as made clear in the earlier ost I was a naive boy to the world. This has happened on more than 1 occasion and disastorous consequences followed. Mostly because those girls also liked me and when you tell someone you like your best friend, not them, it wont go over very well. it can create things such as akward situations, needless tension, forced confessions, and other almost seemingly movie worthy events. However if I can take out a positive event, I gave friends and proably strangers a lot of entertainment at my expense, but i guess I deserved it.

1) Never Ever give a Girl hope when there is none. I also learned this the hard way when a letter was given to me. This letter contained the details of someone's feelings for me who i unfortunately didnt feel the same. She left the room as this note was being read by me and in the back of my head a voice was saying 2 things. EFF ME and, she's not in the room, you can maybe slip out the door and she won't know. i know, pretty classless but i stayed and perhaps made the biggest mistake a young man trying to find a place in this world can say. "I dont want a relationship right now, maybe someday down the line." If we were playing the sub par game show family feud. Louis Anderson would say, Survey says: Mark's an Idiot." That phrase brought on more crap and also provided me with possible other posts mentioned earlier. All I can say is that was amateur hour on my part.

I hope the young kids can learn something from this post, clearly it took me awhle to get things right.

Top 6 Bloggers I Detest

2008-10-22T23:47:00.000-07:00

The problem with the internet is that it has given everybody a voice. Many people would think this is a good thing - after all, freedom of speech is apparently a basic human right. The problem is that many people don't have anything good to say. Furthermore, a lot of people only have bad things to say.

The greatest offenders of all electronic venues of speech are blogs. I know I am biting the hand that feeds me a bit, but the truth must be said. Just as cars are wonderful inventions that can also be responsible for terrible tragedy, so it is with blogs. I have written some pretty terrible blogs during my years as a disenfranchised (or, at least I thought I was) teenager. Yet I feel that I have learned from the error of my ways.

Others have not. So I am thus writing my analysis of the top six worst bloggers that I know of. It was inspired by reading through the "notes" on Facebook, along with a few bitter experiences I had in the past. For each stereotype I list below, there is at least one specific person I could point to. I won't, because I'm nice. I just slander people in concept - not specificity.

6. The False Poet - Now, this is a little bit of a risque one for me to write, since I have poet friends. I'm not against them. I like their poetry. It's good. Granted, I'm not really a fan of poetry in the first place, mainly because of the crappy poetry bloggers.

The poetry writers are not poets at all. Instead, they are incapable writers that seek to find a vehicle to would justify their absolute lack of thought conveyance, poor grammar and ridiculous themes.

To expand:

6.a. Lack of thought conveyance: Some people don't understand the purpose of the internet. It's public. It's a public network that connects millions (probably even billions by now) of people across the globe. The lack of thought conveyance directly opposes this intent in two ways:

6.a.i. False poets don't really say anything at all in their poems. Although this is a problem in all blogs, it is especially poor in poems. Trying to be good, because these false poets think that some poetry talent scout (these things don't actually exist beyond the mind of a false poet) will stumble on their blog and turn them into a household name in poetry, a false poet hides their nonexistant thoughts behind jumbly metaphors, shock-jock phrasing and incoherent sentence fragments. While public blogs are meant to be shared with people, false poets don't take this into consideration, since they give no valid message to the masses. In fact, they give no message at all.

6.a.ii. Or maybe these false poets do actually say something. But they just won't tell you what they say. For some reason, they like to post things on the internet for others to read and make their poems so obscure that you have no clue what they're talking about. You know they're saying something, but it could be anything from a complaint on the mistreatment of gophers in the sub-Saharan reigion (gophers don't actually exist in the sub-Saharan region - although false poets think they do) to the dismay over not being noticed at school that day by the poet's crush. You have no way of knowing, and they have no intention of telling you.

6.b. Poor Grammar - Now, I understand that poetry often breaks gammatical constrains in an effort to free itself from The Man. If you know anything about me, you know that I am always for anyone who tries to fight The Man. So you would think that I would be all for this. I am, but not in the case of false poets. That's because false poets aren't trying to deshackle from The Man. Instead, they are trying to become The Man.

That's because their misuse of grammar is not truly an attempt at expression. A false poet uses poor grammar to try and be edgy. A false poet brutalizes language not in order to stretch it to its fullest extent, but to shred it of any decency. The Man is one who does nonsensical things to the chagrin of the populace. That's exactly what these false poets do. There is no sensibilty behind their misuse of grammar; only disreputable dreams of Man-dom.

6.c. Ridiculous Themes - I already touched on this a bit (see 6.b., above). As we all probably know, there is not much significance in the things false poets write about. What makes it even worse, is the way that false poets address these issues.

Usually, they have no idea of what they are talking about. Usually, they say generic, worthless opinions about complex issues. Usually, they are more wrapped up in their own emotions than on trying to actually contribue something to society.

This all may be a little complex (what with the sub-points and all) so I'm going to simplify by leaving you with an example of a false poet's poem:

LoST in A MinEFIeldd Of+HeaRTTZ :(

Where iS My (our) FriENd?...
People are DYE ---- ng. I hate that. I hate you BecUse you are green!
Where iS LoVE?
My Father is in the trees::'' :( :S

But I Will never forget you. PLease STopppP my bleddin....

War Sux! >:(
I love my girlfriend.

:..: Pockets of Sunshine :..: answer ME!?*#&@(

5. The Heartfelt Discourse - This one may also get me in trouble, so first let me clarify something. I don't actually detest these bloggers; they just bug me a bit. And it's not their fault.

Who are these bloggers? They're the people with good, genuine hearts and good, genuine motives. They usually write about something that was quite meaningful to them. I'm all for the good blogs where somebody writes about life in a poignant and impacting way. It's just too bad when that's what the person is intending to do, but it comes across flat and cliche.

That's not just a problem with bloggers, it's a problem with life. With so much information being thrown around these days, it's increasingly hard to not be original. That being said, I still think it's the responsibility of the blogger. While I understand their good intention, I still wish they'd try a little harder.

Here's and example of the Heartfelt Discourse:

"I was walking down the street today and I saw a boy who was poor. He had nothing. He probably didn't know where he was going to get his next meal from. Yet as he sat there, he was happy. Am I happy? Am I helping the poor? These are questions we should all ask ourselves. Why are we not happier?"

It's great. It's pure. It's good. But I've heard it said so many times before, in better ways, that it fails to have any impact. And I think the issue at hand is bigger than the one raised.

4. The Philosopher - We've all read these blogs. Again, I must say that there are some very good philosophical blogs. They're enriching and I love reading what the people have to say.

Then there's the other philosophers. Ones that write things like this:

"Ignorance is the enemy. In a globalized world, we find ignorance to be in increase. The eruption of socio-enconomic regions in overlap has revealed the ignorance of our species. Yet what is our species? What is ignorance? Is it genetic? Is it a choice? Is it not better to choose to be who one is, than who one is supposed to be? Or do the ideals of society take precedence?"

Enough said.

3. The Political Analyst - This one was probably brought about because it's election time in North America. My disdain for these bloggers has something to do with my view on the governmental system. That view is that people need to stop complaining about governments and start taking responsibilty for their countries. Who is elected into office is merely a representation of the country. Even for those who don't vote.

So stop writing your stupid blogs. It's not going to change anything. Stop sharing your opinion - because it's nonconsequential. Instead of writing, why don't you...Okay, I'm starting to get on a little bit of a rant myself, which is probably also nonconsequential.

Anyways - here's an example:

"an election went by
and nothing has changed
the poor are still hungry
and the big man is still getting his money
welfare cuts are thereby condoned, and we are doomed to seeing years more of our health system declining.
and war is a sure thing now."

Good for you. You've complained, which is the least effective form of protest.

I guess I just complained about political analysts...

2. The "About Me" Questionnaire - LiveJournal was a hit for online blogs. At least with me and my friends. Everyone was into it. And everyone was on eachother's friends lists. It was awesome. Everyday I could go and read a good thirty minutes worth of memoirs, thoughts and experiences that my friends had.

But that was all destroyed by the "About Me" Questionnaires. Rather than write about their lives, struggles and personal thoughts, these people would post the questions and answers of a variety of questionnaires. Not just one or two, either. An endless amount. Day after day I would go to check my friends postings only to see the page jammed up with these useless questionnaires. Some of the questions were actually interesting. However, the poster would never actually answer those. Just the boring ones, like their name, favorite food and what they look for in a guy.

The worst part was that the fad was catching. By the time I finally brought myself to delete one friend because their posts were so incredibly, another one caught onto the fad. It completely took away from the joy of reading my other friends' posts; it completely took away from the joy of blogging about my life. Now, I just write angry top 6 lists.

Example of the questionnaire:

"Name: Crappy Blogger X (not a real name)
Age: 17
Favorite color: I can't decide between blue and brown. And green is nice in the correct light
What's the worst thing you've ever done? Can't say.
What do you look for in a mate? Someone who listens to me, cares for me, smart, good-looking.
Have you ever done drugs? Um...."

1. The Idiot - The above listed people are all quite irritating, but obviously, I have saved the best (worst) for last. How does one describe the idiot? He is a combination of all of the above, yet at the same time, he is completely different. Nothing can really pin him down, other than the fact that he is an idiot.

The idiot has no idea he is one. He sees his thoughts as poignant; as pure genius. He both thinks that he is hilarious, and that his opinions are what will save the world from all its woes. And their opinions are also very blunt and offensive. The idiot considers that their best trait. He wouldn't be so stupid if he were just dumb. Instead, it's so much more. The reason he's so bad is because he lacks any form of self-awareness.

I don't know if my example can do justice:

"Many teens nowadays feel like they aren't good enough. Self-esteem is a real issue among teenagers. With all the pressures they feel it's hard for them to match up to the quota. How can we make teenagers feel better?

But I'm going to turn that all on its head. Really, people just need to realize that a lot of teens aren't good enough. Why should we wait till they're older to tell them they aren't good enough? Tell them now! It's a dog eat dog world, and many people just don't make the cut. So what if teenage suicide rates are up? Maybe it's the best for society to let the weak die young!"

Nobody I know has written the above exactly. Yet the lack of logical thought and disdain for the feelings of others have been seen in many an idiot's blog. Not to the above extreme, mind you, but I'm trying to make a point. And, like an idiot, I'm going to an extreme to make a point. Wait - does that mean that I'm...?

Top Things I do when I am stressed over homework

2008-10-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

1. Shake
2. When stuck staring at my blank word document, I quickly type "f**k this!!" then quickly delete it and repent.
3. Contemplate and seriously consider the late-drop fees
4. Call Bethany for help
5. Continue my procrastination by writing blog posts
6. Pray

Top 6 Suprises of Since September 1st

2008-10-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

6) I havent been talked to in Intrumural Soccer- When playing any type of sport as anybody who knows me will see I get pretty into it. I think in intrumurals last time I almost got in 2 fights and i got scolded by refrees and opposing players. this hasn't happened so far this year maybe because I'm too out of shape to be able to fight or run fast enough to get away from a scary man. Or maybe I'm older and I can't handle the thought of getting broken by a retaliation tackle.

5) I actually have decent marks- The first semester of my last tur of duty here my first semester was a train wreck. Also known by some as the fire semester. Bad marks poured in like returns on boxing day. It was a tornado of dissapointment. This year however, every assingment ive gotten back has been over 80%. This will hopefully continue but there's a mid term next week that could reperesent an extreme down turn.

4) I haven't missed a bus yet- Last year living in a place where busing to school was nescessary I was frequently late and missed buses. However this year even though bus usage is down Ive hit everyone on the money. There is no worse feeling than running after a bus in despair knowing that you won't get it and you'll be late for a midterm. It's like the guy who talks about the girl who is always just out of reach. He's giving it his all just to be dissapointed.

3) I've only been home once so far this year- If you know me well enough, youll know what Im talking about.

2) Ive been in a relationship for longer than a month- Knowing my illustrious career of realtionships it's clear that something is going right. Proably because she is a top notch girl. Certain haters have predicted doom within the first month. however if one of the Donkers had to lay himself down in order for my happiness, I have to pump it up.

1) I havent amounted a debt so far- by this time last year i was begining the financial nose dive that cost me $750 by the end of the first semester. It's never a good idea to buy stuff with money you dont have, especially if that money is coming from your parents. Word of advice for everyone. I think Im happiest about this cause I am not imitating wall street right now and going into a crisis that only a governing institution can get me out off. We all know of what institution i speak of.

Top 6 Things Said In A Grade 3 Classroom

2008-10-06T15:42:00.000-07:00

I'm living in a strange place right now. As I'm trying to figure out my life and only working evenings, I've found myself with a lot of free time in the mornings. My mother, always eager to be involved in my financial life, took the liberty of suggesting me a job. Turns out that there was a 3-week opening for a Teacher's Assistant position at the intermediate school she works at. She teaches grade 4, and the position was for grade 3, so I was fine with it. The 3-week stint is now over and it left me with some good memories. And some fantastic quotes.

6. "Before it was Dogzilla." - This quote was said after I commented to the child on the strangeness of him reading a book titled "Kat Kong". Being instantaneously fascinated by the prospect of a book series that domesticates everyone's favorite monster movies, I tried desperately to get my hands on these two books. The teacher of the classroom said they were favorites of the children, which piqued my interest all the more.

Finally, I got my hands on not one, but both of these books. A quick scan of the back covers taught me all I needed to know about the books. Like most childrens' books, it featured a little text and a lot of pictures. However, what separates these two books from your run-of-the-mill crap was the hybrid between real photography and hand-drawn images. All the backgrounds for these two books were colorfully hand-drawn, whereas the characters (dog, cat and the rodents that inhabit the towns the monsters trash) are superimposed photographs of the author's pets. If there has even been a better concept - wait, nevermind. There has never been a better concept for childrens' books.

But how were the storylines? I'll be honest, Kat Kong was a large disappointment. Dogzilla, on the other hand, made me a better person. It started off with all the mice having a fun-ol' barbecue. How nice. The only problem was that the smell of all that meat awakened a horrific beast from the depths of the earth - Dogzilla. As expected, Dogzilla then terrorized the city amognst all sorts of pet puns. Eventually, the mice got wise and chased Dogzilla back into the crater from which he (or she) came. The book ends peacefully...or so you would think. Unfortunately, the mice forgot about one fearsome prospect - puppies. This dark twist of events is driven home by a chilling final page that features a picture of extremely happy puppies crawling out of a crater.

Don't believe me? Do a Google book search for it. You won't be disappointed.

5. "1 Million...1 Billion..." - It was during Math class. The teacher began by saying "Anything times zero is zero. So what is zero times a million?" That's when the first part of this quote transpired. The teacher continued: "No. Anything times zero is zero. What's a billion times zero?" Then the child responded with the second part of the quote.

Maybe the kid was just having a hard day. But I don't think so.

4. "My sister looks at naked people." - This one perked up during devotions. We were talking about doing bad things, or something like that, and this one girl decided to clean out her sister's closet for the classroom. When she described it, it sounded more like a one-time accident on her sister's part. I didn't really get a chance to find out, though. The teacher (who was ironically a substitute for that day) scolded her and commanded she speak no more of it.

3. "I want to go home or I'm going to kick my face open!" - This was from my favorite kid. In fact, he may have been my favorite because he said things like this. It was randomly in the middle of Math class. Again, the teacher told him that saying such things were inappropriate. I probably would have agreed, if I weren't so busy laughing.

2. "Why do you smell books?" - I loved Bearenstein Bears books growing up. So when I saw the plethora of them in the elementary school library, I could not hesitate to pick one up. Flipping through the pages it brought back all sorts of memories of the stories, the feelings, the lessons, the adventures, the smells...yes, I mean that. Those books had a certain smell to them. The smell of home. The smell of comfort. The smell of familiarity. Was this book the same?

So I smelt it. I tried looking around quickly to see if anyone was looking before I did so. I must have missed one though. Maybe it was because she was so short. Anyways, she hit me up with the above-listed comment as soon as I pulled the book away from my face. I answered with the truth: I was smelling my childhood.

1. "Your wife is my teacher!" - This requires no explanation. As said above, my mother teaches grade 4, not my wife. I'm not married. Yet, this child obviously could not fathom this possibility. I guess at the age of nine you don't have that built-in ability to tell when two people are thirty-six years apart in age.

Maybe he was just having a hard day. But I highly doubt it.

6 Reasons I Hate Taking the Bus Home On Friday & Saturday Nights

2008-10-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

6) Last night I hop on a bus from downtown after a quality night with friends and as soon as I get on the bus it is packed. It's only the first stop and it gets really hot and uncomfortable, especially when your sitting beside a random stranger who you think could possibly be a witch looking at the pentagram on her purse.

5) The Random people you get on the bus who are extrmely odd and make you uncomfortable. Last week my Girlfriend and I were coming back home and a random asian man sat down in front of me and promptly started to fall asleep. The akward thing was he started leaning towards me and he almost started to rest his head on my lap. Nothing infuriates me more than people (especially men) fall asleep on me. though he woke up before he went all the way I was ready to start throwing punches.

4) The amount of time it takes people to get on and off the bus late at night on a weekend is painful. It's a bus all you have to do is step on or off. Your not going through the Iraq border and getting searched for a bomb, just get the bus moving again.

3) The hardcore guys who take alcohol onto the bus. Last night a guy walks on a bus with a couple of Lucky Lagers (The poor man's version of Molson Canadian's) that makes a statement about his character already. He cracks one open on the bus and starts drinking. Clearly class takes a break late at night on a bus.

2) The loud obnoxious guys who come on the bus going to a house party. Here is a late night bus staple. Guys walk on loaded and start hitting on any girl in sight. First they embarras everyone else on the bus for them but at the same time give me a little bit of joy. Then it's on to story telling time with the buddies and then hearing about how he got to touch a girl once a couple of years ago cause clearly no girl self respecting girl would touch him with the state he's in. Here presents a prediciment because on the bus there are girls with little to no self respect. Usually by the end of the bus ride he's got another story of how he totally could have gotten with that girl on the bus.

1) Girls who are on the bus and crying. This is a common occurance usually becuase their boyfriend is a jerk or their best friend is a b****. It makes everyone else on the bus uncomfortable as her friends try console her when it's really beyond the point. This is usually when drunk party goer guy gets on the bus and shows a side of himself, the emotional side who is able to comfort her and bring her back to a normal mental state. Usually a story for the buddies occurs after this.

Top 6 Songs (That I'm listening to at 3am because I cant sleep)

2008-09-27T03:09:00.000-07:00

Im at at 3am not able to sleep, maybe its the fact that I ate a ton of food at 10 last night and perhaps the most deadly desert of all time. Or maybe its the fact that i had my first official date with my girlfriend who is the raddest. To remedy this I just had a sip of my St. Remy's Napeoleon brandy to knock me out

Top 6 as they appear on my sleep playlist

6) Athlete - It's Not your Fault
5) The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun
4) David Gray - Babylon
3) Sigur Ros - Random song I dont know name of, good piano
2) Sting - Fields of Gold
1) The Wallflowers - Closer to You

6 Things I don't understand about UVIC/Victoria

2008-09-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

6) Recently the workers of the SUB (Student Union Building) went on strike. They promptly set up picket lines in front of the building where such things as the campus pub and used bookstore are. I go to buy used books and I fing this debacle is going on. I find out that they are demanding more money. It's very iromnic that they are striking considering most of the employees are students pulling in $10 an hour. Most of them live on campus and have to literally walk 10 seconds to get to work where they pretty much touch themselves. Perhaps they thing that makes me wonder the most is that they are part of the UNITED STEEL WORKERS UNION. They work at a university.

5) I walked in to my first Geography 101A lab and immediately I knew the teacher was a huge hippy. Why let a dis-organized grad student teach a class that is very nescessary for my very survival at UVIC. She is clearly not ready for the big leagues like a few other grad students I've run across in my schooling career.

4) There are kids at UVIC right now who I'm pretty sure just graduated middle school. Some kids are so small and not ready for the University life that it's embarassing. Especially those 18 year girls who dont know what geography is, they think it's a function on their iPhone. Dear Uvic. please use more discretion on selecting your students, Love Mark.

3) Downtown Victoria and the surrounding area is a sweet place to be. A lot of cool things to explore and do. One thing I don't get is how there are literally, a dozen Traveller Inn Motels within a 15km radius.

Hotel Guest
"Shoot honey, I guess this Travellers Inn is full, I guess were out of luck."

Hotel Front Desk Worker
"Excuse me sir, have you tried the five other Travellers Inn within 2km of this location?"

In my mind unnesscary, What about the Sandman Inn, why doesn't he get some of the action?

2) uSource is the new registration system at Uvic, I refer to it as amateur hour. The old webview system worked fine and it had a simple user interface. uSource is proably more confusing than Stephen Hawkings Quantnum Physic theories. I try to register for a class and it says I have a major hold restriction. Ok, what is a major hold restriction you might ask. I asked the same thing and the a-clown who came up with the system decided not disclose what a major hold restriction is. Long story short not many studenst or faculty members are fans. They are not fans of getting random announcements about the UVIC field hockey team tunig SFU in an exhibition game rather than finding out if they can get into the one last class they need to graduate. There is also a group on facebook called "10,000 Strong against uSource". I would like to point out that this is more than half the student population at UVIC.

1) I dont mean to be offensive when I say this. I walk onto campus my first day back and I see construction going on right at the centre of campus. It is a aboriginal celebration centre for the Uvic aborigianl Student Union. Perhaps the ironic thing is that I have at the most seen 5 native students at UVIC. You do the math, it doesn't make much sence to build a 2 million dollar building for five students. How about cutting down on tution?

Top 6 Scars On My Body

2008-09-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

6. The Sparkling Blister - This was what inspired me to write this blog. After the screwing at the hands of the man, I moved on to a new restaurant. We like to bring out ice cream with sparklers to those who are fortunate enough to celebrate their birthday with us. The process is oft accompanied by much song, festivity and bru-ha-ha.

I was recently bringing a sparklered ice cream out a patron when it started to tumble over. Not wanting the prospect of it igniting the carpet and burning down the building to interfere with the celebration, I reached out to grab it with my right (not left) hand. As a result, I got a sweet burn on the edge of my pointer finger. A wonderful bump of a blister appeared. Almost two weeks later, there is still a discolored blotch on my finger. I'm sure it will go away in time, but for now, it's still a scar.

5. The Juice Box Mishap - I've always been really smart. One of my smartest moments was when I tried to cut open a frozen juice box to eat the frosty-delicious counterpart to the liquid apple juice we all know and love. In my genius, I put a part of my thumb (the opposable part) right in my cutting lane in an attempt to stabilize the box. As soon as I started cutting, I felt a pain shooting across my poor appendage. I dropped my knife and stared at it. Astounded by the extent of my intelligence, I only hoped that it would not leave a scar. About seven years later, it sure has. Tiny, insignificant, yet present.

4. The Adenoid Annoy - I was born with large adenoids. For those of you who don't know what they are, adenoids are mechanisms in your nostrils that help filter out harmful bacteria. They're especially important during infancy when your immune system isn't as rocking as your adult one. However, in some situations, like mine, the adenoids are so big that not even air can get through the nostrils. For those of you who don't know, air is important for humans at all stages of development. Thus, the decision to have them removed was made.

I have not actually looked into my nostrils to see the scar, but I'm sure its there. Along with it are a few other side effects. Some very observant people have told me that one of my nostrils is bigger than the other. This is because one side of my nose isn't even connected to the cartilage - I assume this was a result of the surgery. Obviously my parents spared no expense when getting a highly qualified surgeon for me.

Also, a good friend has made fun of my eating habits. It turns out that, unlike what I do, you're not supposed to breath in as you take a bite. Try as I might, I can't consistently breathe through my nose as I'm eating. Breathing through my mouth causes me to get a lot of extra air stuck in my stomach, which will require that I lie down after eating really slurpy foods to ease the discomfort.

It also affects my athletic life. Last week playing soccer, I tried as hard as I could to breath in through my nose, because this is apparently helps all your muscles get their oxygen better. Instead, it just felt like I wasn't breathing at all. I think the nose-breathing-motor-skills that infants usually develop was withheld from me, because of my gargantuan adenoids.

3. The Doctor Jack Parallel - One night at college last year, I started having a pain in my gut. I tried to sleep it off, but just ended up waking up in the middle of the night and throwing up. I woke up with the same pain in the morning and talked to a few others about it. I kept hearing that my symptoms were telling of appendicitis. As things got worse, I decided to check in at the hospital and, yep, they were going to take it out. That night.

The nice thing was that the entire school found out about it, and I got a sweet scar. Had I known how much sympathy I would get and how much school I would miss for a simple (as far as surgeries go) surgery I would have had it taken out years ago. Having staples in your body is also pretty sweet.

2. The First Kiss - I always liked animals. Granted, I was scared of our first family dog, Penelope the First. She was a huge German Shepherd though, so it was merited. She was also the nicest dog in the world.

There was a dog who wasn't the nicest one in the world though. That's because this dog was the spawn of Satan. I think its name was Sam, although I can't really remember. I probably blocked it out of my mind.

Anyways, I was holding this dog, who belonged to my cousins. He started to growl a little bit and I was quickly encouraged to put him down. Thinking I could coax it back to happiness, I held on a little bit longer. When it continued to exhibit its spiteful demeanor, I decided to drop it. However, that was also the moment that Devil-Dog decided to jump off of my arms and bite my face. He bit me right in the corners of the mouth and hung from my face. I'm not lying or making this up. I had to get a few stitches in either side and get some shots. To be honest, I'm not sure if you can actually see the scars since the Terrier of Terror's teeth were so small but this instance has left an emotional scar on me, if nothing else.

The worst was that a few years later, I was at the home of these same cousins. Lockjaw Lucifer came and tried to cuddle with me on my lap. My aunt proclaimed that it was his way of saying sorry. I saw through it. He was gloating. He was gloating at the fact that he gotten away with such a vicious attack with no repercussions. Because of my family connections, I could do nothing to get my revenge. If I had my way, I would have been the one gloating - as I drowned him in the toilet. Or a small pond. Or just bit him.

1. The Infamy - I was a young boy with lots of life. My parents worked at a bible college in Brazil and I worked at skipping the weekly chapels they went to. I was successful this night. I met up with some other Brazilian boys and played tag on the bible college grounds. I, of course, was not it because I'm so fleet on my feet. However, me and the other guys were all chased into the corner by the person who was it. He was obviously pretty good at tag.

It wasn't an inescapable corner though. There was a ledge sticking out that could give us sufficient leverage to scale the two-meter wall we had come to. Thus, we all did that. When I got to the top of the wall, however, with the person who was it running up behind me, I started to get second thoughts. The wall was really high. The other boys seemed to jump off it with no problem though. So, that's what I did.

The next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground with all the other boys staring down at me. My forehead felt funny, so I tried to touch it. It was a weird sensation not feeling your forehead where it was supposed to be. Before I knew it, the chapel service had been called and my dad was picking me up and putting me in the back of our station wagon. The twenty-something woman I had an older-woman-crush on sat with me in the back. That was cool.

I remember the doctor stitching me up and giving me latex gloves and a syringe (needleless) as a souvenir. My body had some souvenirs as well - in the form of huge face scabs, a swollen-shut purple eye, and, of course, the coolest scar ever.

My sister refused to look at me for a few days and it took a really long time to heal. But it wasn't so bad. I'm not really even sure if it hurt all that much. We went back one time in the day to the place I fell to try and figure out what happened. Turns out that the wall I jumped (fell) off was right next to the students' dormitories. Thus, they used that area to hang their clotheslines. We think that I must have hooked my foot on one of the lines and become propelled face first into the concrete below.

Yet no brain damage or any other negative effects befell me from the accident. Just an amazing scar on my forehead that speaks of destiny, danger and manliness. I used to not like it, but now its probably the best part of my body. People think Harry Potter was cool cause he came onto the scene with a forehead scar, but the fact is that he's more than a decade too late. That's right, Potts, I've been sportin' this biz since before you even was born. And shall I so sport it, until I get an even bigger scar - a scar we all know as death.

Top 6 Reasons to Contribute to a New Blog

2008-09-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

6. It is Friday night and your 'editor' is at a hockey game.
5. Chess sucks. How is it fair in any way, shape or form that a computer can calculate every single possible move...okay. Chess sucks. Full stop.
4. You made plans to have breakfast this morning with a bunch of guys. The alarm woke you up at 8:40am, no guys in sight. Apparently they had all forgotten and you had breakfast with one other guy. At 12 o'clock, you fell asleep and proceeded to take a 2 hour nap. Now you aren't tired.
3. Your friend is going to make you drive home as soon as you close your computer.
2. The university sent the student leaders on a 'leadership retreat' this weekend. Besides all obvious positions, it turns out that flying by the seat of your pants in a lounge geared towards international students counts as leading students. Unfortunately, that is exactly what your girlfriend does.
1. Your philosophy major is coming to a close and you realize that, unless a movie star sees your blog contributions and asks you if you'd be willing to write a screenplay, you will be flat broke and career-less.

Top 6 Ways The Man Screwed Me This Summer

2008-09-02T23:37:00.001-07:00

Summer is gone, and it ended well. The beginning and middle were quite tumultuous. That was mainly because I found myself very involved with "The Man". Who is The Man? The Man is any part of corporate North America that seems bent on screwing you over. That's exactly what The Man did to me. I got a job in a restaurant as a server, and it sucked. I won't go in to the specifics of the job because slander is illegal and I still feel a level of attachment to some of the individuals that are still involved with the man. Also, before I being I would like to say that I do not hold any specific individual in mind as The Man. The Man is the symbol of the sum of the whole.

And these are the top 6 ways that The Man screwed me.

6. The Eternal Wait - I had wanted to work at this restaurant for over a year now. It was always my favorite restaurant because of its location, food and environment. I originally applied to work there the year before and was shut down. However, a few good friends of mine started working there, and after hearing of a change of management, I decided to go in and apply again. I walked in, had an interview and had the manager tell me that because of my reference, I was in. It should only be a week or so until they call me.

However, a week went by and I heard nothing. I called them to see what was up and spoke to another manager. She had no idea about me and told me that I wasn't hired for sure yet. I had to wait a little while longer. To make a long story short (and believe me, it's long) I was eventually told by my friend who worked there, via Facebook, that I was hired and just had to wait until the end of the month of May to be trained. In the middle of the month, I received a phone call while I was away volunteering at a youth conference. Apparently, orientation was the next day at 9 a.m. Just happy to get into the system, I was willing to overlook the less-than-twenty-four-hours notification, leave my volunteer position and start working. But, I was encouraged that it was no problem, I should stick to my commitments and I would be beginning in just under a week anyways. Great.

A week later, I still hadn't heard from them. I called again and was told that I wasn't put on that list of trainees, they were full and I had to wait another three weeks. Being a college student that was depending on this job for money to pay tuition in the fall, I needed to get things going. The frustrating thing was that I turned down another for sure job and a second interview somewhere else to work at this restaurant, since it was my favorite. I tried going back to those other jobs, but no dice. After two weeks, I buckled and called The Man back. They were still willing to get me in the system, now that I had waited almost a whole month to be orientated. And I finally was. It was over a month between that first interview I had in the restaurant and when I got to show up for a shift. At least I was working now, right? Well...

5. The Snapshow Sending - What they didn't tell me in their extensive training process was that getting decent shifts was even more difficult than being able to start working. I left my schedule wide open, hoping that they would see just how eager I was to work as much as I possibly could, especially to make up for the time they stole from me. I got six shifts a week! The only problem was that I was lucky if I could work twenty hours in those six shifts.

For those of you who haven't served before, let me break it down to you how it works. A restaurant has a certain amount of servers starting at either lunch or dinner time. Aside from previously selected individuals who stay until closing, the servers are then sent home when business dies down.

There were a few problems with this set-up. First of all, it was the summer and the food that this restaurant specialized in was not very summer-friendly. Thus, it was slow. That was okay though - I could overlook that. Second, there was a bonus up for grabs for the manager that could minimize the total amount of money The Man had to pay for labor. Thus, servers were sent home as quickly as possible. A two-hour shift became a long day for some stretches. There were many days that I was not even allowed to start. I would drive for forty-five minutes to a job that I was willing to do, but was not allowed to do. For accounting purposes, I kept track of the money I was making - and looking over it, I still wonder why I hung on to this job for so long.

4. The Heartbreak Story - Eventually, I was fed up. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to really lay your best effort down at a job and feeling like The Man won't let you. So, I flirted with another restaurant. I still wanted to hold on to my job with The Man though. I still liked the restaurant, and I had made a few solid friends during my tenure there. So, I sat down with the manager in charge of scheduling and had a heart-to-heart. I told him that I needed a certain amount of shifts where I could make money because I needed it for the Fall. I wanted a straight answer - just a yes or no. Instead, he started off on some tangent about how he has so many people to please and if he doesn't give the single mother enough shifts then she'll go broke...etc...etc...etc... He had a good point. But I knew that. I totally understood why it would be hard for a manger to give me more shifts. What bugged me was the way it was done. This conversation was the make-or-break point after months of frustration. I guess I was half-expecting an apology, or at least some sort of sympathy for my situation. Instead, I was told that my situation was less pressing than that of others. Even though it was true, I still don't think it was the right thing to do. Business is business, but when you need to leave someone out in the cold, at least give them a blanket.

3. The Lack of Confidence - Backing the story up a bit, I frequently tried to stay longer on my shifts to make some decent money. At one point, a co-worker was willing to let me stay for her all-afternoon shift. I would make some pretty good cash! The only thing that it depended on was the manager's approval. They didn't approve. I didn't have enough experience. I guess a year of serving experience isn't enough to qualify me to work on a mid-week afternoon in the middle of summer.

On top of that, I always wanted to close on my evening shifts. This meant that I would stay for the full night, and again, make good money. I wasn't allowed to do this, however, because I wasn't trained for it. I finally got trained for it, a week before I decided to pull the plug on the job. Closing involved wiping down a few counters and cleaning the heads of the pop machine. Obviously, this was something that I needed special training for.

2. The Hippocratic Denial - Towards the end of my initial training, one of the manager's took the group of new recuits aside and gave us some tips. He looked right at me as he said "Don't think you know everything just because you've served before!" I was tempted to take it personally, but reminded myself that he was speaking to the whole group.

The next day, I was speaking to that same manager and the general manager. The general manager turned to the other and asked him if he had spoken about what she had wanted him to. He said yes (other than what was recounted in the above paragraph, he hadn't). I quizzed as to what this was about - apparently, they thought I was too confident. One of my trainers said I was looking around too much during training. The other thing was that I was walking around too much while serving tables. Clearly, I had megalomanical issues. I apologized, and promised to try to change my erroneous ways.

Later, we were out with the rest of the training group when the same manager said "Don't think you know everything. I've spoken with (my name) specifically about this, but it stands for you all as well."

Thank you Mr. Manager. I appreciate you letting me know about my ego problems. Letting the rest of my training team know about them too will only help me eradicate my issues. Not only will I now have to live my entire life wondering if every little thing I do is a testament to my inner arrogance (and I did), I can also live with the comforting knowledge that my co-workers are aware of the situation and can kindly assist me in my battle. That was a pure move of professionalism to notify my co-workers of private issues you see in my life. Thank you. *applause*

1. The Man and His Socks - I had three shifts left. I had already started at my new restaurant (which I am still at, and loving) and was giddy about the prospect of actually making money and having some respect at a job. The dress code for The Man though, like many restaurants, required black socks. I'm all over that. I'm a firm believer in following rules like that. Truthfully. I show up early to my jobs, I dress right, I do everything I can to make sure that there is no fault to be found in my commitment to a job.

But this day, I decided to ease up a bit. Because all my comfortable black socks were in the wash, I put on my charcoal gray ones instead. I went to a private school, and they were okay there. I worked at another restaurant with a similar dress code, and they were okay there. I would be perfectly fine wearing these socks with a suit. If you held them up against black, you could tell they were not black. However, to wear these with black shoes and black pants and a black belt would be no sort of faux pas whatsoever. And besides, they hadn't checked my socks once in my two months of working there.

That day, they did. And of course, the socks weren't black enough. I could either go home, or walk across the street and buy some black socks from Winners. I left with the full intention of just going home. How could they do this to me? I was never late, I was always dedicated, I wanted nothing more than to stay there and work for years. And now, three shifts away from finishing, they do this to me. I figured that was the last straw, I wasn't going to give in to The Man any longer!

But that's the thing about The Man. It's like an unhealthy relationship. The one where you love the other person, you lay your life down for them and they just throw it away. You show up to their house and find them with someone else. They tell you they'll try harder next time, but then you find them in the same position the following week. The relationship is full of empty promises, broken commitments and betrayed loyalty. What do you do?

That's exactly what I thought in that car. What do I do? I, like many others, first thought that the best way to stick it to the man was to flip it the bird and refute its demands. Then I thought about it more. I really thought about what it meant to stick it to the man. What would be the best thing to do to something that treated my commitment so poorly?

So I went across the street, I bought a pair of black socks and I came back to work the shift. And the next two shifts. Why? Because I realized that I had to do just that to truly say I gave it my all. I was willing to go to couples therapy. I was willing to see it from their side. I was willing to sacrifice, to give and to serve. But The Man was only willing to screw me.

I hope that we can work things out some day. Some day, I want to go back there, sit down, eat, tip well, laugh and remember the good times. I know that day will come, but not right now. Now, I'm still writing angry blogs and trying to forget. Until the time I can move on, I will continue to remember the top six ways that The Man screwed me this summer.

The Top 6 Of The Radiohead Experiment

2008-08-31T22:35:00.000-07:00

I like to pride myself on having a diverse taste in music. Recently, I've discovered that is not nearly as diverse as I would like to think. The most telling truth of that is the fact that I never really listened to Radiohead, a band that many claim is foundational in a variety of ways. At least I hadn't really listened to them until this summer. That's right - this summer, over the course of a few weeks, I committed myself to only listening to the seven main Radiohead CDs (Pablo Honey, The Bends, OK Computer, Kid A, Amnesiac, Hail to the Thief and In Rainbows) in my car. This is my ranking of these albums.

6. The Bends - I felt sort of bad putting this one at the bottom, especially since some say it's their greatest work. I'll admit right away that it's hard for me to see the genius in each album, since I'm listening to them all many years after their release. That all being said, I just don't feel that The Bends is as solid as the rest of their albums from top to bottom. It obviously has its headlining songs that stand up as some of the band's greatest work - it's just the lesser known songs on this album are lesser known for a reason. It's my opinion of course, but then again, I'm the one writing this. Probably the most genius part of this album is seen when you hold it up against Pablo Honey. Listening to The Bends after their previous album made me wonder if it was still the same album. The Bends is a great album, but when you're competing with other Radiohead stuff, the competition is fierce. Speaking of other albums...

5. Amnesiac - Amnesiac and Kid A both came out of the same set of recordings, being released one year after the other (with Kid A coming out first). They are fairly similar. However, Amnesiac stresses the abstract side of Radiohead more than Kid A. Out of the two albums, I would have to say that Amnesiac has the best song - Pyramid Song - but unfortunately, it's counter-balanced by some songs that I just did not enjoy listening to. In the past, I've forced myself to give unusual songs a chance and they turned out being songs that I loved. Not so with the ones on this album - I just don't like them.

4. Kid A - A friend of mine said that this album typifies who Radiohead truly is. I think there is more to the band than what they show on this album, but what this album has, it has really, really well. From the outset of the album, it just locks you in to the contemplative mindset. If there was a single album that I wanted to play on the drive home after a significant evening, it would be this one. From top to bottom, it doesn't break out of that beautiful level once. That being said, it means it would not be the one album I want to take on a deserted island. I'd need more diversity.

3. Hail to the Thief - This is the first Radiohead album I ever listened to. Not on my marathon, just in my life. When it came out, everyone on MSN Messenger changed their display names to strange cryptic sentences that I later learned were lyrics and song titles from this album. To be honest, I was somewhat put off by its weirdness at first - anyone who has this album as their first Radiohead experience probably would be. However, after listening to it a bit, I can honestly say it has the strongest front-end of any Radiohead album. The first seven songs rock my face off every time. I considered putting this album at number 1 just because of those first seven songs. However, try as I might, I just can't get stoked enough for the second seven songs. It's more a matter of opinion, but I can't like the second half of this album for the same reason I didn't like Amnesiac as much as Kid A. I just don't feel it.

2. In Rainbows - This is another one that is heralded as their best. To be honest, I did not listen to this album on my marathon. It was the first album I actually "owned" and probably to date has had the best listen of them all. I had it originally at number 3, but further time with this album made me realize the beautiful layering and value of some of the songs that didn't stand out right away. I would say it does what Kid A did, only better. But still, there's just something missing from making it number 1.

1. OK Computer - I really didn't want to do this. As far as I can tell, this is the album that most people point to as their greatest. I really didn't want to follow the crowd on this one. However, I cannot help but agree. There's two main reasons for OK Computer being number 1 on my list. The first, is that I remember the sort of music that was popular when this album came out. Unlike other Radiohead albums, it wasn't so profoundly different. However, it's just...a better caliber than anything that was out at that time. Whereas other albums stick out because of their uniqueness, this one shines because I feel it is very comparable to mainstream music (much like Pablo Honey and The Bends were, only OK Computer is significantly better than each of these) and wins all comparison. The second reason for this being number one is that I think this album, more than any other, discloses every aspect of Radiohead's versatility without belaboring any part. All the others albums were too much of one thing, whereas this one was just enough of everything.

Let me finish with a quick little observation on Radiohead in general. I read in a blog once that Radiohead made music art. That's the stupidest thing I've heard in my life. Even to say that Radiohead invented the abstract exploration of art is horrendously uninformed. Music has always been and art, and abstraction of music has been around just as long. That being said, Radiohead is just a really good band. I understand that exploring new things is important to artists and I think all artists should do that. But to be honest, I think Radiohead shines most when they don't try to reinvent the wheel. When they're just playing music that's better than everyone else, like I think they did on OK Computer, that's when the band is at their best.

I know that every Radiohead fan is going to want to punch me in the face for saying that, as are all those jerk record store workers. But that's scene-sters for you. They don't expect anyone's opinion, other than the crowd's.

Top 6 Things I Say When Im Mad at a Video Game

2008-08-30T01:28:00.000-07:00

6. Get your heads in the game
5. Quit touching yourselves
4. STEP UP!!!
3.This is bush league out here
2. Mr. Referee .......
1. Are you effing kidding me?

Top 6 Things That Destroy A Series

2008-05-20T18:04:00.001-07:00

6. Too much, all the time - Otherwise known as the "OC" disorder. Fans of the ill-fated show were sucked in past the bad acting into the always-explosive story lines. The problem was that the show tried to do too much all the time. It left no room for character development and destroyed the only thing the show had going for itself - a sense of realness. What drew people in was the fact that the conversations the characters had felt like real conversations teenagers had. The only problem was that this was all nullified as soon as the plot lines moved from familiar to bizarre. A series needs to realize how much time it has to tell a story and not rush it (or conversely, drag it out too long).

5. Carrying it out for too long - Otherwise known as the "Spider-Man" disorder. Last summer, I ordered a DVD containing 500+ issues of the original Spider-Man comic in digital format. I have greatly enjoyed the earlier stories. They show just why Spider-Man is still popular over 40 years after his creation. The later stories...not so much. You can certainly tell when the often-changing writers were just trying to meet the demands for another issue. And from the research I've done about what happens later I'm considering getting rid of the DVD altogether. That's because direction the seem to be taking the comic does not only ruin its future, but makes one look at its past differently. Stuff like this happens every time a plot-driven piece tries to run on forever. Especially in the case of comic books where writers change all the time.

4. Changing Writers - Otherwise known as the "SonicFlood" disorder. There are a few situations in which a writer can be replaced and the quality of a work carried on. I honestly cannot think of a single situation at the moment. The problem is that people fail to see how intimately connected a writer and his/her work are. In many situations, a series of any sort has value mostly because of what it says about that writer. People think that you can understand someone's writing by looking at their history, but this is only partly true. A person's history is best understood through the lens of their work. That all being said, if your favorite TV show is starting to suck, it's probably because the original writer left.

3. Over-Manipulation of Death - Otherwise known as the "Pirates of the Caribbean" disorder. There is a place for resurrection in stories, but not when it comes as an after-thought. This usually happens when fans complain that one of their favorite characters dies. The writer(s) think(s) that they quickly need to undo the decision they made in order to keep their work popular. As a result, we get the insulting "clone/dream/misunderstanding" junk that ruins a good series. If fans leave a series because their favorite character was axed, it means that there really wasn't enough to the series in the first place and bringing that character back as an afterthought will just further damage a weak work.

2. Identity Crisis - Otherwise known as the "Matrix" disorder. When people join into a series of any type, it means they like it for what it is. Some brilliant (or rather, stupid) writers think this is a good opportunity to try and break away from the mold they have already set and turn an action movie into a philosophical narrative, a comedy into a public service announcement or an epic into a romantic comedy. A good writer will be aware of his/her niche, and if they want to take things in a different direction, do so within the confines of a niche. Fans are sloths - you can move them, but you have to let them go at their own pace.

1. A Lack of Vision - This one sums it all up. Before any series can be written, heck, before ANYTHING can be written, it needs to know where it is going. You can throw the most bizarre, weird and convoluted things into a series if it all serves to work towards where the series is going. Knowing where a series is going will allow a writer to stay grounded, much like a bungee cord allows a person to jump off a bridge without fear. Do your crazy things, as long as it functions to bring you back to where you should be. It's very easy to determine what series are written because the writer wants money or something to do and because the writer wants to do something. It's the difference between writing poverty and writing excellence.

Top 6 Things To Do While Waiting For A Ride

2008-05-14T21:53:00.000-07:00

6. Call your other friends. If one is running behind, it serves as a great opportunity to catch up with other people you WON'T be seeing that night. If you're lucky, you can get them to pick you up instead. The worst thing you can do is call the person you're waiting for, even if it is just to tell them to hurry up. Their answering of the phone will just slow them down.

5. Homework. This one is an obvious gamble. Ideally, your friend will come quickly so that you won't have to do it for too long, but you will still have done enough to say that your day was somewhat productive. Of course, in the case of really long waits, you'll end up getting a lot of work done. That's the risk you have to take though.

4. Walk in the direction your ride is coming. This will minimize those valuable seconds that would have been consumed if your ride at to come all the way to where you are. Expediency is never fully actualized, but this is one "step" you can take in that direction.

3. Teach yourself how to fly. I still stand by the belief that the only reason humanity has not learned how to fly without the use of an aircraft is a result of not enough time. Time that is wasted sitting on your rear for a ride is that very time needed to discover the method by which a human being can fly simply by the force of their will. I have personally made great lengths at this, but have not been completely successful yet.

2. Train your dog to carry you like a horse carries a man. Dogs have a secret - and that secret is that they are fully capable of hoisting a human on their backs and running for long distances. It's just their pride that keeps them from submitting in this way. The whole pride issue began when humans started taking dogs into their houses and feeding them at no cost. But that is a rant for another day. If you don't have a dog, there are other options. Kittens for example. Sure, they're not strong enough to hoist a human, or even a fat child, but they are quite adept at networking. And if a kitten really levels with you, it will tell you that their posse of kittens is a phone call away from teaming together to carry you wherever you need to go. The day I see a man being carried down the street by a small mob of kittens is the day I will finally have faith in humanity.

1. Blog. Some people like to blog when they are feeling most emotional, or on a Friday night when they should be out with their friends. The truth is, blogging is overrated and should be relegated to those small throwaway times as we wait for a ride.

Top 6 Accessories That Make You Cooler

2008-04-21T22:10:00.001-07:00

6. Piercing (Varied) - This is the go to. Nothing says that you are respectable more than your willingness to put holes in your body. This practice is all about sticking it to the man. Piercings used to be a way to mark slaves, but that's the beauty of it. You willingly put a hole in your body to say that you will assume the role of self-slavery sooner than the role of man-slavery. The man hates it when you do it, because he wants you to be his slave. He's a jerk.
5. Sweatbands - These used to be considered a sign of loserdom. However, once people realized how practical they actually were, they dominated the realms of the reputable. I put one of these on once, and instantly, I could do no wrong. They're especially cool if you wear one while not playing spots. A cop pulled me over, but once he saw that I was wearing a headband, he ticketed himself. Then I ticketed him too.
4. Wristbands - Often worn by rock stars, these handy items make it look that your wrists are so powerful that they need to be suppressed. Do not confuse these with wristwatches, which are NOT cool. Cool people do not wear wristwatches because they are not limited by time, but make time.
3. Handbags - Not to be confused with purses. These "handy" items allow you to store all of your possessions in a place other than your pockets, which would just look ridiculous since it would bulge out.
2. Blackberry - Nothing says you're with it more than having your life organized. Also, these babies function as portable mothers - they make sure you're doing everything you're supposed to.
1. = Against the Sabre = A significant other - As much as single people want to war against this, the truth is that having another person in your life is a status symbol. In fact, it is THE status symbol. Some say that these are good for other things as well, like love and companionship, but the truth is, the status is the best past.

Top 6 Reasons You Want To Join My Revolution

2008-04-18T23:40:00.001-07:00

6. Your life is boring. You get riled up watching movies about fighting for freedom and wish that you had a chance to do the same. This is your chance.
5. You've been hurt before. Although you may not see it, the cause of your hurt was StopFive Records. You need to get revenge.
4. This is a reputable media source. If you subscribe to it, you pretty much have it made. I have a masters in journalism and all sorts of crazy connections. If you can say that you wrote on this blog and worked with me, it would give you great street cred.
3. You had a dream that you could not interpret. The interpretation is thus - that you are to join my revolution. I had a dream the other night that I hid my pet horse in between the pages of a book, and when I opened it, he was only a drawing. I could never get my pet horse back. That fuels me in the cause.
2. You're single. Quality singles are waiting for you here at StopSix Records. I'm not one, but I'm sure there will be some. Being a writer on the blog will get them interested in you. If you don't choose to write, you will be single forever. And hate it.
1. I'm asking politely.

So - leave a comment if you want to join this revolution.

Top 6 Who's Who

2008-04-17T12:14:00.000-07:00

6. StopFive Records - These are the enemy. In a historical motif, they are most obviously the Czars of monastic Russia with their exclusivistic ideals. In a galactic historical motif, they are the cantina owner who refused to serve droids. To discover more of their elitism, visit StopFive Records.
5. StopFour Records - This is our ally. In a historical motif, it is the brotherhood of the French Revolution. Ever loyal, ever true and possessing a heart full of song. In a galactic historical motif, it is a friendly Ewok. To aid this noble effort, be sure to visit StopFour Records.
4. Finneas - This is myself, the last remaining champion of idealism. In a historical motif, I am like William Wallace. In a galactic historical motif, I am Han Solo. With jedi powers. To learn more about me, take the time to sit down and listen to my problems.
3. ValuSave - This is the barbaric institution that I am convinced is in partnership with StopFive Records. In a historical motif, they are sweat shops. In a galactic historical motif, they are the Death Star. The second one. To learn more about the revolting reality that is the ValuSave, check out Finding Finneas.
2. You - This is the change agent. In a historical context, you are the proles of Orwell's 1984. In a galactic historical context, you are Obi-Wan Kenobi - our only hope.
1. Destiny - Where all of these figureheads collide. In a historical context, it is still destiny. In the galactic historical context, it is the force. To be a part of it, join and continue to support StopSix and StopFour Records as we seek to right all that is wrong in the world.